I Get The Final Say
Santana hangs her keys up and takes off her jacket as she enters the house. She shuts the door and a soft clicking noise rings out as she locks it. She’s hoping she won’t wake anyone.
She makes her way to the kitchen, the microwave calling out to her. Grinning, she starts it up when she sees that Rachel made her spaghetti. Waiting for it to heat up, she makes her way to the living room and her grin fades away quickly because Rachel’s on the couch looking pissed.
“Hey baby.”
“You’re late. Again.” Rachel’s tone is more sad than angry.
Santana sits on the couch, kissing their 5-month old daughter in Rachel’s arms on the forehead, and then brings her lips to Rachel’s. “I’m sorry, okay? This case was important. I had details to work through and you know I can’t do that here.”
“I bet Quinn was home on time.”
“Quinn’s just a secretary at the station, Rachel. I’m a homicide detective. Of course she’s going to be home on time. Besides, all this overtime earns us serious cash.”
“Fine. Kristin is still up, waiting for you. I suggest you go force her to sleep before you even think about eating dinner.”
---
Santana smiles when she enters her daughter’s room. For five, the girl is feisty. It makes sense; she does have her and Rachel as her parents.
Kristin is under the blankets with a flashlight, so Santana goes up to the bed and growls while tickling her. Kristin breaks out into a fit of giggles. “Mama!”
Santana stops tickling and plops down next to her. “What are you looking at baby girl?”
“Your yearbook. You did cheering! That’s so awesome.”
“I did glee club with your Mom too.”
“I wanna do both! Just like you!”
“Sure, K. Anything you want.”
Kristin claps excitedly and starts talking a mile a minute. “Well I looked it up on Mom’s lab top-”
“Lap top.”
Kristin gives her Mama a stern look. “Mama no interruptions. This is important!”
Santana has to bite her lip to avoid laughing. Sometimes Kristin was too much like Rachel. “Sorry. Continue.”
“I looked up Sue’s kids cheer camp for this summer and I wanna do it. And it’s less money for me because it says if your mom was a Cheerio she’ll discount!”
“Okay, K. I don’t see why not.”
Kristin gets up and starts jumping on the bed yelling “Yay!” repeatedly. “The deal is you have to go to bed now if you want to go to camp.”
“Fine,” Kristin grumbles as she wraps herself in the blankets. “Catch any bad guys, Mama?”
“’Course I did, baby girl. I always do.”
Kristin smiles. “Mama you’re so badbutt.”
Santana laughs loudly. “Badbutt?”
“Yeah, Mommy said I couldn’t say ass.”
Santana smiles so hard she feels like her jaw is going to break. She kisses Kristin’s cheek and says goodnight before heading back downstairs to Rachel, who placed her food on the kitchen table.
“I put the baby down; she should be settled for the night.”
Santana nods, sits down and starts eating quickly. “Kristin looked through our yearbook.”
Rachel sits near her wife and groans. “You better not have made fun of my argyle in front of our child.”
Santana snorts. “I didn’t. But she saw my Cheerio pictures and she asked to do Sue’s camp.”
Rachel’s face hardens. “Absoultely not.”
“What? Why not?”
Rachel gets up and starts scrubbing some of the dishes in the sink. “Because our daughters will not be subject to Sue’s influence.”
“It’s not about Sue, baby. It’s about cheering and Kristin wants to try it.”
“No.”
“Rachel, you can’t just say no. I told her it was okay.”
“Well clearly you should have spoken with me before coming to any decisions.”
Santana rolls her eyes. “You’re being hypocritical. You’re completely shutting my opinion down without any thought.”
Rachel whips around. “I gave it thought and then I said no! She’s not going to be like that.”
“Like what? Like me? She can do your singing thing and she can do my cheering thing if she wants too. Cheerleading actually meant a lot to me, you know. It was fun and I was great.”
“Santana you’re the exception, not the majority. Those girls will turn our girl into a bitch with no feelings.”
Santana scoffs, “She’s five, Rachel. Five. We aren’t selling her soul to the devil.”
Rachel raises her voice, “We’re selling it to Sue Sylvester! She’s worse than the devil! My answer is no and that’s final.”
Santana crosses her arms. “Stop being such a drama queen. What makes you think you can just say no and it be final? Is it because you’re with her during the day? Well too bad. I say yes and that’s final.”
Rachel face contorts angrily. “No, I say it's final because she’s mine, Santana!”
Santana lays her head on Rachel’s protruding baby bump, trying to feel any kicking. Santana would deny to her grave that she was this sappy. “What do you want to name her, baby?”
Rachel is mindlessly combing her fingers through Santana’s hair. “I want to name it after a Broadway star, that way our baby will already have her road started towards stardom from birth.”
Santana laughs. “Fine. But I have to approve of it first.”
“Idina?”
“No.”
“Patti?”
“No.”
“Carol?”
“Fuck no.”
Rachel stills her fingers for a moment in thought, before continuing the action again. “Kristin?”
“After that Wicked chick? I like that one. Kristin Berry. It’s got a ring to it.”
“You know I was thinking of changing my name.”
Santana looks up, confused. “Are you getting a stage name? Because I feel like I should approve of that too.”
“Would Rachel Lopez be approved by you?”
Santana beams. “Seriously?”
Rachel smiles back. “Seriously. I figure if I get to have her, she should have your name. You know that this baby is just as much yours as it is mine, Santana. She’s ours.”
Santana kisses Rachel. “I know. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Rachel pats at her stomach. “Don’t feel left out, Kristin Lopez! We love you too.”
Rachel watches Santana’s steely glaze quickly break down to one of hurt. It’s then that she realizes what came out of her mouth. She tries to backtrack. “Santana I didn’t mean that.”
“I can’t believe you just fucking said that to me.” Santana turns on her heel and heads out of the kitchen, Rachel quickly following behind her.
“Santana! Santana wait! It just came out, it was an absolutely ridiculous thing to say and I didn’t mean it.”
Santana quips angrily, “You always say what you mean. Why don’t you just fucking change her name to Berry since she isn’t mine.” Santana wraps her jacket around herself and picks up her car keys.
She hesitates when she hears a little voice from the top of the stairs. “Mama where are you going?”
“Go back to bed, baby girl. Remember you promised me? Don’t worry; I’m just going to have a sleepover at Auntie Brittany’s house.”
The little girl nods and makes her way back to her room. When Santana finally looks at Rachel, she sees the girl shaking and crying. It reminds her of the child she just sent off to bed. “Santana, please. Please don’t leave. Let me talk to you.”
The last time Santana had been this hurt, it’d been in college when Rachel accused her of cheating. Santana had stormed out angrily and was MIA for three days. Rachel had never felt so scared and heartbroken in her life. She couldn’t bear to think Santana would disappear again.
Santana’s shoulders slump and she sighs. “I’ll be back in the morning. I can’t deal with this right now.”
---
She uses her key to get into Brittany’s apartment, stealthily making her way to her room. She leans against the door way. Quinn is propped up reading a book in bed and Brittany is cuddling against her side watching SpongeBob on the television. “Get out, Fabray.”
Quinn looks up from her book and groans. “Damn it, Santana. I hate sleeping on my couch.” Quinn gets up anyway and goes into the living room.
Santana calls out, “Suck it up!” and jumps into bed with Brittany.
Brittany smiles at her and wraps an arm around her waist. “Want to watch SpongeBob with me? It’s the episode where he pretends to be stupid.”
Santana looks at Brittany with adoration. Her best friend in the entire world since they were five still knows exactly what to do when she’s upset. Brittany doesn’t press; she just lets Santana be until she feels better or finally talks about what’s wrong.
What Rachel said to her was never really an insecurity of hers, but it doesn’t mean she never thought about it. Of course Rachel will always have the connection of being the biological mom. Santana has enough confidence in herself to know that didn’t mean her love for Kristin was any less.
---
The next morning Santana begrudgingly heads back home, but not before whacking a sleeping Quinn in the head with a pillow. She hears a muffled “bitch!” which just makes her laugh.
When she gets home she stands in front of the doorway almost wishing she had work that day. Rachel opens the door suddenly, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. She hugs Santana, basically clutching her, tears running down her face.
“Santana I’m sorry. I am so deeply sorry. I didn’t mean it. We were both just so angry and you know I hate it when you win…I was just trying to win. I didn’t think before I said it, I was just trying to win the argument. I don’t believe what I said, not one word of it, okay? I love you so much and Kristin loves you.”
Santana feels a tug at her pant leg. “Yeah, Mama! I love you lots.”
Santana smiles through her own tears which she had tried fighting off. “It’s okay, Rachel. Just stop ranting.”
Rachel looks at her with her teary puppy-dog eyes. “Really? You forgive me?”
“Yes. Because I love you and I love our girls.”
Rachel nods hard, almost in a cartoonish fashion. “Kristin can do the cheer camp. I think it will be best for her future plans to be well rounded, especially if she expects to get into a decent college and-”
Santana kisses Rachel, knowing that her apology could on for days if she let it.
No matter how cute Rachel looks when she rants, Santana chooses make-up sex over Rachel’s neurotic planning every time.