(no subject)
don't read this and don't comment on it unless you have something very very helpful and/or insightful to say.
i don't know why i couldn't talk to you. i don't know why i'm so self centered. but i do know that i hate hurting you, especially when you come with a peace offering. however, i don't see what i should have done differently. i still can't think of anything to say. maybe that's because everything you said about me is true. i AM mean and i AM a cynic and i AM a horrible person. i hate fighting. i don't even know how this one started.
i'm so... i don't know. stupid? yeah, probably. fucked up enough to hate my own family? not quite, but i'm getting there. evil? am i evil? you called me evil. wasn't hitler evil? wasn't charles manson evil? maybe. but they were also sick. i'm not sick, i'm not insane. maybe i act like it, but that's only so i don't have to show any of the real emotions i keep hidden, shrouded, oppressed. i'm a completely different me around other people. you're a completely different you around other people.
i made you cry.
who am i...