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[speakseverely]

Oh thank god. No more tour. And I'm done doing my little stint on Last Comic Standing. Rejoice for I have returned to the land of Holy Shit It's Fucking Hot As Sweaty Balls.

When I got home, it was 100 degrees in my house. IN MY HOUSE. What kind of shit is this??

So how are you lovely people?

Comments

[biggestbear]

[speakseverely]

I try, my darling. I try.

How are you, Big Poppa?

[biggestbear]

[speakseverely]

Isn't that always the case? Though I don't know where the best place to bury shit is.

Fucking hungry, that's for sure. The sushi place down the street is gone and I don't know who to blow to get more.

[notawaxwork]

[speakseverely]

Tell me about it! Someone get mother nature some gold bond powder, stat!

[notawaxwork]

[speakseverely]

You're twatface boogerhead.

I do! I just got home and it wasn't on because I was awaaaaaaay~ maybe someone should pay more attention.

[dontfeedthe]

A room should only feel that hot because I'm standing in it.

[speakseverely]

[dontfeedthe]

If I were hiding in our closet, you wouldn't leave me in there long. I have a very short shelf life and must be used before my expiration date. Or else I spoil.

[speakseverely]

[hookahed]

[speakseverely]

You did?? Yay! Did I look fabulous? I bet I looked fabulous. You wouldn't believe the kind of nutters they get at that thing.

[hookahed]

[speakseverely]

Aw shucks, darlin, thanks. We fucking had to sit there for like.. I think I was there a total of 13 hours or some shit. There was a guy who had cheeta print spandex and called himself Cheetaqua and tried to make jokes about cheetas. JOKES ABOUT CHEETAS, MADAME BUTTERFLY. My brain, she exploded.