My time in the Hospital Wing....

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.....I feel so dull, just sat here in bed and either staring outside the window or up at the ceiling. There is very little activity in the hospital wing, except for the Doctor Hatori coming in and out or other patients. But alas, I am on my own. Hatori has told me that I will be able to leave in another week, depending on my current condition. He is right, I suppose, considering that I have only begun to walk around a little before losing consciousness in my legs. Hatori says that is quite normal, considering the shock to my system that I incurred. He also tells me I am lucky to be alive. I doubt that though, no one would miss me if I died, albeit The Professor and The President, although not for my loss, just for their loss. Profit for The President and Science for The Professor. Ha, I question myself why I even bothered attempting to live, for? I......still do not know the answer. The......only conclusion I can make is that it must have not been my "time" yet. It is quite possible......but if what I envision is true.......there will be many deaths to come......

.....But onto the matter at hand. I am writing on a few sheets of paper Hatori has given to me. Also, Hatori was kind enough to fetch my studying equipment and of course, a few students in my class bring in my homework due to me missing class although they quickly leave saying very little. Ha, I suppose they are scared of me.....

.....No one has bothered to come and visit me. No one from my House, no Teachers, not even Miyu or even Rukia, not even Kisaragi! Even to say she actually "rescued" me, she hasn't even bothered to stop by. Heh, as usual, I am on my own. Lately though, I wish for the social company.....yet I do not let on but I truly do. I feel.....so lonely inside.....deep inside the bottom of my soul is a black-gray space of emptiness. I feel......empty and depressed. Can I not have the quality of life like everyone else? Or am I doomed to the "disease" of loneliness? That I question myself upon.....only God knows, not I.

.....Miyu.....oh how I miss you.....I guess it was not to be though. I loved you with all my heart and you crushed it. The will to live was no longer there but nevertheless, I was crushed all the same. If only you had embraced me warmly, accepted me for who I am? .....What's done has been done, there is no turning back. Perhaps magic can turn back time but in the world of technology, currently, it is an impossibility.

.....Also, I am still curious to the past of Aeris Gainsborough, a Gryffindor 5th Year student. Although a year older than myself, I have a "feeling" that I know her still.....I even imagine myself and her together, although it is not a happy state of affairs.....perhaps there is something there? Once again, that is only for God to know at this current moment in time and for myself to find out.

Well, I think I will leave it here and continue with my studying. It is the only thing that keeps me "amused" nowadays.

Sephiroth.