Remix Fic
Title: Shades of Grey
Rating: G
Group/Pairing: News Tegoshi/Masuda/Kato Friendship
Warnings: None
Notes: This is a remix of sanjihan's fic It's a Black and White World. Originally posted here.
Thank you to my beta, tokeruyouna.
“Massu,” Tegoshi called through the changing room door, “bring me that prince shirt in red.”
Massu hesitated for a moment. Finally getting someone to agree to go shopping with him was turning out to be more problematic than he’d expected. Or at least, shopping with Tegoshi was.
In the past two shops in which Tegoshi had demanded something in another colour, Massu had ended up asking for help from the shop assistant and then claiming that he was looking so hard that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. But Tegoshi had given him a look like he was completely hopeless last time, and Massu was starting to get sick of the pretences and harried acting.
Massu weighed which shirt looked closest to red and picked up one in the right size, handing it over the door. An annoyed tsk came from the other side of the door, and it opened to a grumpy Tegoshi.
“This is blue, not red. Were they out or something?”
Massu tried to think of a reasonable answer. Maybe he could just say he misheard.
“Massu, what colour is my shirt?” Tegoshi questioned quietly.
Oh, hell! Massu stared at the fabric and made a quick guess based on the shade of grey that he could see.
“Green?”
Tegoshi put down the shirt in his hand and grabbed his bag, pulling Massu out of the store without buying a single thing. Massu stayed quiet, still not quite sure if he’d gotten away with it or not. Logically he knew he hadn’t, but he wasn’t giving in until it was confirmed. Tegoshi didn’t say anything until they’d taken their seats in a nearby ramen shop.
It started awkwardly, but it was obvious that Tegoshi was interested and wasn’t going to give up on the topic.
“So, can you not tell red or blue or something apart?”
“No,” Massu took a deep breath and decided to just admit the lot, “I can’t tell any colour apart. I mean, with practice I’ve gotten better but sometimes they look too similar shade-wise.”
“Like they all look -- ?” Tegoshi still looked like he was waiting for clarification.
“Black and white.”
“How long?”
“Always.”
Tegoshi stared down at the table top. Massu wasn’t sure what he should do. Did he leave it at that and just hope Tegoshi didn’t go and tell everyone? Was he supposed to answer a bunch of questions?
The only other people he’d spoken to about this were his family and the endless stream of doctors that had tested him and prodded him and studied his brainwaves while they flashed bright, supposedly coloured, lights in his eyes.
He’d hated those years of testing and counselling and watching his mother get more and more distressed at his ‘problem’. She used to tell him all the time that she was doing it for him. That she wanted him to experience all those things in life that he was missing out on. How it upset her that he couldn’t enjoy the world like a normal child.
God, how he had resented that.
Somehow, though, he didn’t think that Tegoshi would jump to that conclusion. Tegoshi was the kind of person to really think about something before he made a decision about it. So Massu let out his secret properly, explaining about what had happened when his parents had realised, what it was like with the doctors and how his father had finally put a stop to it when the doctors officially asked to study him. Massu had always been thankful for avoiding the fate of being treated like an animal in a lab. Though he still wasn’t sure exactly why his dad had done that.
“I’m glad he didn’t let them study me,” Massu added as he finished his explanation.
Tegoshi didn’t ask anything more after that. Though he didn’t finish his ramen either. He just sat there quietly and watched Massu while he ate. Massu found himself a little upset about the silence. Somehow he found himself wishing that Tegoshi would say something reassuring, or at the very least let him know that he didn’t think of Massu any differently.
~~
When Massu got home that night he didn’t say anything to his parents. His mother had always been so worried that someone would ‘learn his secret’. He didn’t really want to talk about it with her. Besides, what difference would it make if she knew or not?
Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about it himself. He ended up staring at the family portrait on the wall. He remembered his sister whinging about it when they were deciding on which prints to buy. She’d wanted a copy in black and white because she thought everyone looked more elegant in black and white photos. He’d always wondered about that and about the look she’d given him after saying it. He really wondered if his world was more elegant than theirs. Or if she had just wanted a family portrait where they could all see the same thing. Either way, he’d always appreciated that she’d never put a negative spin on they way he saw things.
After all, his eyesight had never bothered him, but the way other people reacted to it always had. His sister was the only one who had never made him resent it.
~~
Tegoshi only raised the subject with him once more after he found out. The day after the incident in the changing rooms he’d asked if Massu was bothered by it.
“Do you miss Spain?” Massu had asked in response.
“What?”
“You can’t miss what you don’t know, right?”
Tegoshi had nodded to himself and walked off after that. Massu couldn’t help but smile. Tegoshi really was the type to think about things thoroughly. And just maybe that meant that he wouldn’t treat him differently because of it.
~~
A handful of weeks later Massu was setting up his things in the dressing room when a pile of photos on the table caught his eye. He moved over and picked up a few of them. They were of all sorts of random things. Completely random.
He studied the one of a woman crying and traced the lines of her face, affected by the way the sadness seemed to radiate off her. The next was a pair of sneakers, worn to near extinction and obviously well loved. Massu flicked to the next one of a beach sunset, shimmering with light as the sun gave a last burst of warmth.
“Shige’s been taking a lot of photos lately,” Ryo said as he came up behind him and looked over Massu’s shoulder. “You’ve got to wonder why they’re all in black and white.”
Massu looked back at the photographs. He hadn’t realised that they were colourless.
“I think he’s got real skill with the camera. They’re photos of such average things, but they all seem to have emotions attached.” He showed Ryo the photo of the sunset and smiled at the way he actually paused, really looking at the photo.
“Yeah, maybe.”
Massu went back to looking at the photos and found one of Ryo and Yamapi talking. It was obvious how comfortable and happy they were in each other’s company. Somehow it came off as being rather intimate. Massu silently handed the photo to Ryo and went back to arranging his things, ignoring the quiet ‘Oh’ that came from his bandmate.
Shige and Koyama walked in a moment later. Ryo waved the photo Massu had handed him and announced he was keeping it without giving Shige a hint as to which photo it was before tucking it safely into a book in his bag.
“Sure, I can always make another print if I need to.” Shige smiled. He’d obviously already guessed which photo it was.
“They’re beautiful,” Massu said, his head tilting towards the pile on the table.
“Thank you.”
“Are you putting together an album?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it. I was just … trying to see the world from another point of view. Tegoshi gave me the idea.”
The delicate way Shige eyed him as he said it made it obvious that he knew. Tegoshi must have told him. But there was nothing unpleasant in the way Shige looked at him. In fact there was something flattering in them trying to see things his way.
Massu smiled to let him know he wasn’t upset and went back to his daily routine. By the end of the day Shige had arranged to go shopping with him and Tegoshi had invited him to dinner at a new Cantonese place in his favourite restaurant district. They might have seemed like small gestures, but they told Massu just how special these friends were.
Over time, Massu came to realise how much they were doing to make his life that little bit easier; his costumes were always in the same place on the rack, and suggestions for outfits were made based on what was printed on his clothes rather than their colours. Even small things like more regular invitations to go out, better choices of food, and bringing back treats from their trips instead of postcards and key chains.
The kindness and friendship glinting in their eyes when they handed over a gift or suggested somewhere to eat always reminded him just how lucky he was to have friends who were happy with him just as he is.