The Graduation Conspiracy, Part I

[spectralbovine]

Last month, I surprised my little sister for her college graduation (I also surprised my mom, whose jaw dropped hilariously when she saw me). I repeatedly told them I was not able to fly down to Texas, and then I took a cheap red-eye for a day trip that was totally worth it.

Comments

[rufinia]

Instead she has been using it to fuck with awful guys on a dating app.

Your sister is awesome.

[spectralbovine]

She gets the grossest messages, oh my God.

One guy said he wanted to mount her like Genghis Khan.

[homegoddess]

Congratulations on your sister's graduation. That's a great picture of the two of you.

[missquita]

You're so sweet!

Oh, dating apps.

[toastandtea]

Wow, what a good brother!

Lies and deceit in the name of surprising joy!

House Frey? No, wait, that's not it...

[spectralbovine]

You must define joy differently.

[toastandtea]

I have to make jokes to keep from crying! Also i no longer know what joy feels like.

[spectralbovine]

Wow, what a good brother!
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