Dreamland

[speedisthekey]

Last night I dreamt Britney Spears stole my truck from the grocery store parking lot.

Clearly, this is a harbinger of doom.

Comments

[zulkey]

I had a dream last night that I was watching a Law and Order episode with both Jerry Orbach and Dennis Farina on it and even in my dream I thought, "Wait, those two were never on an episode together."

[speedisthekey]

I was going to say, "Maybe one day they'll have these two work together." Then I realised that Jerry Orbach is...you know...dead. Which made me think of a recent episode of 30 Rock where they finally managed to get Jerry Seinfeld back on a TV series by digitally inserting footage from Seinfeld in other random-ass shows. So, really, who knows what these resourceful little television executives can do these days with the technology on hand. Your dream might just come true! WEEEE!

[speedisthekey]

I heard Britney Spears ran over some dude's foot. He was a paparazzo. And true to their nature, he just kept shooting. Like, seriously, while his foot was being run over by a car he was reaching up from the round with his camera in driver's side window taking photographs. Not surprisingly, the sock he was wearing was put up for auction.

[trickeration]

I DON'T DREAM BECAUSE I'M A ROBOT AND SO ARE YOU.

[speedisthekey]

DOES NOT COMPUTE

[trickeration]

JOKES FOR ROBOTS, BY ROBOTS

ALL OTHER JOKES ARE OBSOLETE.

[speedisthekey]

Reading this gave me a robot headache because it was not in binary.

What's super nerdy and totally serious though, is that about seven years ago I could have translated that into binary. How is this possible? Aside from being a robot is that fact that I went to business school and for some reason they taught us how to read and write binary code. Thinking on it now it's suddenly so obvious that Jones College is simply a front for a cyborg manufacturing plant. This is plausible and scientific and any arguments to the contrary will only out you as a fleshy man thing that must be assimilated.