I like this story overall. Possibly one of my top 3.
I don't like the beginning. I feel you concentrate too heavily on the description of the place. I see how having everything dictated exactly makes sure the reader sees what you envision, but part of writing is letting readers see it through their own eyes.
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I don't like the beginning. I feel you concentrate too heavily on the description of the place. I see how having everything dictated exactly makes sure the reader sees what you envision, but part of writing is letting readers see it through their own eyes.
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