(no subject)
Hey. You ever notice how people constantly say they should do things but never follow through? I don't mean like typical day-to-day "I'll-be-there's," and never showing up. That's bullshit, but is reserved for another day. I'm talking about the ideas people say they will work on.
That's a bit misleading. Here, it's like this; I like doing nothing. It's fun. But you can't get good at doing nothing. Once you do nothing, bam. You're at the top of your game. When you do nothing, it's the alpha and omega of your doing-nothing career. You've topped out.
And it's precisely that reason that I have motivations to do other things; Play guitar, work out. Y'know, things that, through hard work and dedication, I intend to reap the benefits from one day. Be a rock star, or at least be able to sit on my ass and play thrash metal. And live long enough to see my grandkids turn 30. Maybe even great grandkids.
But I never maintain dedication. I skip a workout here, tell myself that the guitar can wait and that whatever I'm doing is more important, despite evidence that it's far less constructive than pursuing those two goals.
Same goes for academia. Fuck up a test here, skip a study session there. I rationalize it by saying that 'hey, it's unfair to myself and those around me to be operation at maximum effort all the time.'
I don't wanna become a burn out, y'knHEY, buddy!
So, ah, heh. When're you getting your license?
Anyways, what was I sayin'? Rationalization, right.
I think, "Hey, you wouldn't want to run your car's engine at 100% power all the time, would you? You'd damage the engine. Fuck all sorts of shit up."
But I'm not a car, and that rationalization doesn't work. I can, yknow, work my ass off and still be a functional human being. Least, I think I can.
Yeah, he knows we're coming. I'd like to wrap up this whole tirade in a neat little one-liner, but, yknow, Im not exactly sure I was trying to preach or anything or even make a point. Well, a point definitely. But I don't know what it is. Take from it what you want. I know I am.