[003: Audio]

[spellsdeadwrong]

So all of this stuff with people being sick is over now.

[Pause. Asuka's seen a lot of people upset about everything that had gone down, whether they'd been a part of it or just seen the destruction or if they'd died or lived and killed. He wants to make them see that it's all right now. But while he's good at talking to people one-on-one,

Comments

[angha_firebird]

[Have some airy, stifled breathing and a whimper before the audio finally clicks off again.]

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP]

[spellsdeadwrong]

[That sounds terrible.

Asuka's not even going to bother asking after Aara again--he's just headed toward her room.

Knock, knock?]

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] YUS!

[angha_firebird]

[He can probably hear stifled sobs and small whimpers. A sniffle. A choked voice finally answers. She's trying to sound brave. Normal. She does not realize she is failing miserably.]

Who is there?

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP]

[spellsdeadwrong]

[And in that moment, his heart breaks for Aara.]

It's me. Asuka.

Aara, will you let me in?

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP]

[angha_firebird]

[Another sob--followed by a gurgle as if she tried to block the sound and failed. Quiet ensues for a bit as Aara debates. Finally the door clicks open, though only a scant few inches as Aara backs away from the door, afraid of what Asuka might do. What he might know, or think of her. She stands still, looking to her toes, hot tears trailing down her cheeks. At least she is quiet, now.]

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP]

[spellsdeadwrong]

[Asuka's not going to be doing much of anything--he's just stepping into the room and engulfing her in a hug, almost like a protective shell against the outside world.]

I'm so sorry, Aara.

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] ALL THE TEARS

[angha_firebird]

[Aara gasps at that hug--it certainly wasn't what she was expecting. Then suddenly the dam breaks and Aara is wrapping her arms around Asuka in turn, crying without reserve into his shoulder and no doubt getting his shirt wet with her tears. She lets everything out, muscles giving out on her as if it was too much to hold everything back all at once. She doesn't know how her friends will find it in them to forgive her. She doesn't know if she has it in her to forgive herself.]

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] SO SAD ;;

[spellsdeadwrong]

[Fortunately, Asuka was expecting the tears. His arms tighten around her as she sobs, and when she sags against him, muscles giving out, he carefully lowers the two of them to the floor, where he can tug her into his lap and hold her, rubbing small circles into her back.]

It's okay, Aara. Everything will be okay.

[Everything except, perhaps, her. But he doesn't say that, instead choosing to keep up the quiet stream of reassurance, rocking slightly as she cries.

Everything would be okay.]

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] AWWWW SO MANY ANGSTY TOO CUTE TEARS

[angha_firebird]

[When Asuka lowers them to the floor, Aara hardly notices. She simply curls up into a ball on his lap and keeps her arms wrapped around him. The horror. The memories. The sadness and pain. She can't change it. She can't go back and save her friends--from herself.

How could she ever beg enough forgiveness? How could she ever show them how sorry she was?]

It... it hurts...

[Her light sobbing continues.]

Friends... should not cause friends... hurt...

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP]

[spellsdeadwrong]

[As Aara speaks, finally letting some of her hurt come to light, Asuka switches to stroking her hair, holding her head to him for a moment before continuing the motion.]

Shhh, it's okay...

Sometimes it happens, and you can't control it. And that's okay.

Your real friends will know you didn't mean it.

[He knows this is going to take some time for her to recover from. But that's okay. He plans to be there to help her through it.]

I know it hurts. But everything's going to be okay, I promise. Shhhhhh...

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP]

[angha_firebird]

[Aara's breathing calms somewhat at Asuka's repetitive motions. Small sobs still shake her form, but they are much quieter, now.]

N...no. It is not okay! I hurt them, Asuka. Even... an apology...

[Her hand fists into the material of his shirt, just thinking of it. She needed to apologize. She already knew she would talk to each one of them individually. Explain. But...]

Can... a simply apology... ever truly be enough?

[Fresh tears re-surface and Aara turns her head into the crook of Asuka's neck, hiding her pain and shame. She had not been a real friend. She had never hurt anyone before. This... it was horrible. Aara desperately wanted to believe Asuka's words. She let them wash over her like a balm--a small and fragile hope that she dared allow herself to have. Maybe... one day... everything would be okay. She holds him tighter for a second, then lets out a shuddered breath.]

What if... what if I had hurt you? Would you still feel like this?

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP]

[spellsdeadwrong]

Of course I would.

[He tilts his head to the side for a moment, resting his cheek against her head. His hand stills on her hair, his other arm still tight around her waist.]

Because I know you didn't mean to do it.

It's not the words of the apology that count, it's how much the other person means it that's important. As long as you're honest, it will be enough.

And if it isn't, they'll have to answer to me. Your real friends will understand. Your real friends will forgive you.

I can't think of anyone here who wouldn't forgive you, Aara.

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] WHY SO ALSDKJFDJSK T_T <333

[angha_firebird]

[She doesn't know if it's Asuka's words, tone, or caring touch, but suddenly Aara feels as though it wasn't hopeless. She had a chance to ask forgiveness, and explain. A smile finds her lips, and she sniffs slightly as her burden lightens considerably. She leans back a little, wiping at her face, to meet Asuka's gaze with gratitude in her own.]

You are a good friend, Asuka.

[She lightly leans her forehead against his, smile never waning. Her fingers are still curled into the material of his shirt as she takes a deep, shuddering breath.]

Thank you...

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] BECAUSE. /BECAUSE/.

[spellsdeadwrong]

[Asuka just smiles back at her, glad to see her feeling at least a bit better.]

I'm glad you think of me as your friend.

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] <3s you forever!!!

[angha_firebird]

[Aara is actually a bit surprised by that, pulling back sliightly and blinking.]

Of course I consider you my friend. I would not have told you I was angha if I did not trust you. Accept you as you have accepted me.

[Feeling somewhat shy at having admitted all that--at wanting to admit more--Aara ducks her head a little before meeting his gaze once more. She wants him to understand.]

You have been...a very good friend. [She tilts her head to one side, a tiny smile tugging her lips.] Besides. I made an oath to you. I will always be your friend. I will always look out for you. It is an angha promise.

[COMMENTLOGGING IT UP] ...and of course I'm now just brainstorming ways to /break this/...

[spellsdeadwrong]

[Of course he'd considered her his friend, and he'd been fairly certain she'd felt the same. But until that first test came up, it was all up in the air--he'd been a bit worried at first that she wouldn't let him come to her to help.]

Well, I may not be able to make those sorts of promise, but I can give you my word as a summoner of Desuya.

[He smiles.]

I will be there for you whenever you need--no matter what.