"and it hurts to always hafta be so honest with the ones that you love"
so, today i mostly sat around.
morgan called me at like 6 and asked if i wanted to go out with her and paul. which i totally did, and it was awesome. we went to wendy's where i had morgan's frosty because shes lactose intolerant. i'm not entirely clear on why she ordered it, but i'm not one to complain.
then paul went to the bathroom, and i felt his jacket to see if his keys were in it. they were, so i pulled them out, and morgan must have been on the same wavelength because she grabbed his jacket and hat without saying a word and we just booked. we got to the car, and i couldnt figure out which key it was, so it took awhile to unlock the doors, and by the time i was starting the car, paul comes out of wendy's, realizing what was going on. so, we failed at stealing his car.
after that we drove around abit and ended up going down to the ladd school. it was sweet. and by sweet i mean scary. that place is creepy as shit in the day, and the night is ten times worse. we would have stayed longer if it was warmer and we had flashlights and had left the car someplace better but we left it down at that little detox center place. when we got back there, we'd been noticed and the cops had been called. as we started to drive away, acouple guys came running out of the building with flashlights and watched us drive away. then on the road back across the ladd school, there was a cop with his lights on. i guess hed been called because of us, but he ended up pulling over these two other kids in a red car. we totally dodged a bullet.
so after that we got lost in the cemetary trying to take a shortcut, and we finally dropped morgan off and then went back to pauls and i went home.
and here i am.
after that i talked to probably 2342390423904 people on aim. seriously i havnt talked to that many people at once since like, 7th grade. crazy. my figners dont GO that fast. im kinda troubled about a number of things. things with one of my bestest friends kinda went sour today. it was stupid and i really should ahve known better by now, but hey. thats my life.
and theres another issue thats bothering me. i won't stop being friends with someone because it bothers you. (even if YOU cant read this, i still need to get it out.) when i care about a person, i'll always stick with them, through thick and thin. i'm not going to throw that away over some stupid drama. get over it. i know you have problems but you're only hurting everyone who cares about you. you once told me that i needed to get over myself and see that everyone else has issues too.
the only people who you let in are the wrong ones. youre the only one ive met who has anything good to say about any of them. some of the people you hold dearest are the ones who will use you and throw you away. its sad that you can't see that. i wish there was something i could do, but i've been pushed so far away that theres really not. id make this not friends only so you could see it, but you twist everything i say anyways so it would only make you more angry.
(plus, how dare i spend time with someone you hate. if i can't talk to your friends, and i cant talk to your enemies, who can i talk to?)
someday, when you come back because you realize you need me, when noone else is left, i'll be here for you, no matter how much you treat me like shit. you can hate me now but someday i hope youll realize who your real friends are.
if i'm wrong, i'm wrong, and all the better. i dont want you to go through any hardship. just know im always here, and just know how much you're hurting the people who love you most.
so yeah, i decided to un-friends-only that.
maybe i shouldnt, maybe you'll hate me, if you even read it.
but no matter what, i'm here for you.
and i'm worried about you.
tommorow will be a good day.
studio all day,
then an appointment with my new councilor to hopefully straighten me out.
after that, picking up skye and jman, and coming back here for band practice w/ dan.
we've got one song, and the greater part of two others.
let me tell you, its awesome. without a doubt. i'm wicked excited.
finally, 24 is on and i live for that show.
so i'm pretty souped about that day.
other than that, working tuesday and wednesday, and thursday is taste of chaos. which will rock, i'm sure. i'm going with skye, emily, kalin, one other person tba.
so yeah.
prettysouped.
rock.
i love you all.
spence