it's hardly winter yet & i haven't stopped shaking & i've been freezing & cold & untouchable for days on end...

this statement is true on so many levels that nothing is left to say....

i am on the rocks...i should be happy...no wait i am happy...but something is missing...i've been spending alot of time with myself...and i'm tying up alot of emotional loose ends...and i've come to relieze that i'm missing something....like theres this empty place...a "god shaped hole"...that nothing seems to fill...i want more than this...a try ( Read more... )

i'm content for the time being...life is good sometimes...

i throw myself at anyone who wants to take me home

it's late my body is exhausted by my mind is running rampet...i'm half drunk...i don't want to sleep alone tonite...someone touching me making contact even if it's meaningless contact is better feeling empty...if my emotions had a gas gauge they'd be on e  now...that warning lite is blinking...i'll find sleep eventually...ben i swear if your piss ( Read more... )

how could you leave without a word...we're closer than that or so i thought...no idea where you are...you're not even sure why you left...you're killing mom & dad...even nika busted out photo albums for no reason & pointed out pictures of the three of us when were little to no one imparticular...your doing what you feel needs to done & i respect ( Read more... )

it's odd when things start to fall into place...my promotion is cemented in...we move a week from today...vacation starts monday morning...i'm getting used to sleeping alone & i like having the whole bed to myself...with the exception of a few people i feel like a lot of old bullshit is being resolved...there's really only one left to deal with... ( Read more... )

i want his belt around my neck...i want his fingers in my mouth & his hands pulling my knee's apart & then his wet fingers prying me open...i want to be rubbed is hard by the stubble around his mouth that it will hurt when i pee...and i want him dead...worse then dead, i want him fat & bloated with water & insecure & emotioal...if he doesn't want ( Read more... )

i love you pall jenkins...in the end they'll find her name stiched to my heart...and you have made my nite...has anybody seen a love alone like mine...the show is on sunday......time won't wait for us...my sweet black heart procession will be here...you will always be here with me...sigh...love isn't supposed to be this way...i'm gonna get all cute ( Read more... )

silly boy...thinking that was all for you...you may have been worth one or two of my tears...but to think i'd get that upset over you...that was three months worth of bullshit that you just set off...mostly because i'm used to getting my way...those tears were...about things that could've been...about things that didn't work out the way you hope ( Read more... )