Wanting You To Stay
Title: Hypothetically Reality
Pairing: Kibum and...*drum roll*... Eeteuk!
Rating: G with a P before it.
Disclaimer: Heh, If I owned Super Junior....
A/N: -no comment-
Kibum never would admit he’s wrong. Probably because he never is, and would never in his life admit to the fact that he was wrong and lie about it. Therefore, Kibum is never wrong and never tells a lie.
Before Kibum starts sounding like an honest arrogant young man, there is also one other thing you need to know about Kibum. And that’s the fact that Kibum never likes to admit his weaknesses, or even acknowledge the fact that he even has them. So, that also makes us come to the conclusion that Kibum lies to himself about everything, and is just a big contradiction to himself and everything around him.
For all you know, everything here could be the truth because Kibum never lies, or a well thought out lie that Kibum tells himself to make the world look like a better place for him.
Funny way to think about it, huh?
Now, the fact that Kibum was standing there, in the doorway of the living room amazed him. Just standing there and watching Eeteuk’s back rise and fall unevenly with each small sob, made Kibum think and rethink the reason why he was there in the first place, obviously being completely honest with himself.
Before he new it, he was shuffling across the carpeted floor and taking a seat next to his sobbing leader on the couch.
Eeteuk glanced up at Kibum’s intrusion, and gave a weak smile.
What was Kibum thinking? Well, why he was there in the first place, and, well, yeah. Why was he there in the first place?
“Eeteuk?” Kibum stuttered, scratching the back of his head, still struggling with all the thoughts going through his head, “What’s wrong?”
Eeteuk let out a large sigh, and Kibum watched as he seemed to sink lower into the couch hunched forward, head bowed, “I’m such a bad leader.”
Kibum was shocked. What? Eeteuk a bad leader? Since when? Well obviously since now, Kibum. Right. But why?
Kibum opened his mouth to say something, but all of those honest thoughts weren’t making it from his brain to his mouth.
“I try so hard,” Eeteuk hiccupped trying to breath through his sobbing,
“But, I can’t do everything. I know that, but-“
Kibum blinked. Eeteuk leaned forward, his head gently resting on Kibum’s shoulder. His hair was tickling Kibum’s jaw, but he tried to ignore it.
“I mean, today with Sungmin,” Eeteuk began to sob harder, “And yesterday with Kangin! I just don’t know what to do! He won’t even talk to me, let alone be in the same room with me!”
Kibum bit his lip. He never really realized that Eeteuk was feeling this way. I was strange to see his leader like this. So weak, and vulnerable. Always something that Kibum tried to avoid, which is why he rarely talked unless he had to.
“I don’t even know why I’m here, no one needs me. They all would be better of without me.” Eeteuk rubbed at his red eyes, “I’m just a nuisance. I never to anything right, and I just raise the tension and stress. I should just leave.”
Kibum really felt like he had to say something. Anything! Just to stop his leader from crying his heart out like this. It was just so heart breaking really.
Kibum, who still sat with his mouth halfway open, ready to say something finally uttered, “I...”
Eeteuk looked up from Kibum’s shoulder, his tear streaked face, making Kibum feel worse. He didn’t even know the reason why.
“I,” Kibum said again, trying to organize everything in his brain.
“Hm?” Eeteuk asked coughing and sniffling eyes still puffy and red.
“I want you.”
Eeteuk looked confused for a moment. Great going Kibum. Your honest thoughts are getting confused with all of the other ones.
“You want me?” Eeteuk asked, voice raspy.
“Yes, I want you to…” Kibum tried forming his sentence correctly, but it just wasn’t happening. There was a reason why he went into the living room in the first place. But, he seamed to have lost that reason in the dark crevices in his mind.
“To, what?”
“I want you to stay,” Kibum finished, only hypothetically face palming himself for totally forgetting what he really wanted to say.
Eeteuk was silent for a moment and then whispered quietly, “You’re just saying that to make me feel better. You really don’t mean it. Kangin even told me. No one in Super Junior wants me to stay.”
Kibum thought. He liked the thoughts running through his right mind then, because they were all featuring the many ways he could totally maim Kangin for saying something like that. Of course they were all hypothetical because he could never stand up to Kangin like that. But, they were fun to think of.
“No, I do want you to stay.” Kibum finally remembered why he had walked into that living room. He remembered why his feet had moved for him and his body made him sit right next to Eeteuk. Like he said before, he wanted Eeteuk. That was it. He wanted Eeteuk. The whole ‘I want you to stay’ thing was just an example of how Kibum likes to be honest yet lie to himself? Big contradiction, you know.
Eeteuk looked directly into Kibum’s eyes.
“I want you to stay… forever.” Kibum finished, biting the inside of his cheek waiting for Eeteuk’s reaction.
“I want you.” Kibum didn’t finish the sentence that time.
“You want me to stay forever?” Eeteuk asked, sounding touched.
“No,” Kibum replied, being his contradictious self, “I want you.”
“You want,” Eeteuk looked confused again, “me?”
“Yes, I want you.” Kibum stated, trying to make everything straight in his mind, although that was difficult because after all he was confessing his feelings to another guy.
“To stay forever?” Eeteuk asked, like he was trying to confirm something.
“Nope,” Kibum was really making things confusing for them both now. “I want you, but I don’t want you to stay forever.”
“But?”
“I want you to stay for eternity,” Kibum finally said it. He had said it and admitted it. He wanted Eeteuk. It was simple. Forget Kangin! Eeteuk was Kibum’s now. At least Kibum hoped it was like that now. What was going on?
Eeteuk took a steady breath, his tears seemed to have stopped, and his eyes were harder to read. Without another word, he leaned forward wrapping his arms tight around Kibum, nuzzling his nose into Kibum’s neck.
So, Kibum never would admit he’s wrong. Until now, and would never in his life admit to the fact that he was wrong and lie about it, until now. So, therefore, Kibum is always wrong.
There is also one other thing you need to know about Kibum. And that’s the fact that Kibum never likes to admit his weaknesses, or even acknowledge the fact that he even has them. But, the fact that his weakness is Eeteuk, well, that should speak for itself.
So, that also makes us come to the conclusion that Kibum lies to himself about everything, and is just a big contradiction to himself and everything around him. And we can blame all of that on Eeteuk.
For all you know, everything here could be the truth because Kibum never lies, or a well thought out lie that Kibum tells himself to make the world look like a better place for him. Only because he loves Eeteuk, and can only have him forever in his imagination.
~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Real authors note this time.
Well, this is for the 100 fic challenge....forgot to say that before XD
038: Eeteuk/Kibum "I want you to stay forever"
archive here ----> =D 2/100