Title: What a Tangled Web
Pairing: YeWook, KiMin (I guess that's what it would be)...
Rating: PG?
Summary: So this chapter is set in Sungmin's pov. This fic will soon be how each member of the band gets in the band. Some will be obvious, others will be more...surprising...I just always wanted to do a complicated interwoven story like this. So I hope everyone is patient with me, and try to figure out how each will be introduced.
Chapter 2: High Expectations
Here it was again that same question. My parents just couldn’t understand that I was already working for what I wanted to do with my life. Their high expectations tended to put them off to my wishes. I was already pursuing my dream.
“What are you planning on doing the rest of your life?” My mother’s tone was the same, sorrowful and disapproving. I sighed shifting my feet, my eyes on the ground. I already knew that my mom had tears in her eyes, didn’t mean I wanted to see them.
Like all the other times, my father sat, quietly looking at me. Disappointment was never on his face, just some sort of quiet understanding. “I’ve told you, I want to be a singer. Can I pursue my dream? Will you please just allow me to try and succeed with what I really want to do in my life?” Unlike all the rest of these discussions which lead to slammed door and angry silence, my answer led to a new path which took them by surprise.
“How are you supposed to try? If you fail there goes most of your life down the drain! Who says you even have the talent?” My mom’s voice was even more choked up but I swallowed hard and looked at her. There was nothing worse than guilt put on by a mother.
“I will succeed. If you’d actually put effort in believing in me maybe you would already know that I have what it takes to make it. Have you even heard me sing once?” It was my turn for the guilt. My mom looked taken aback.
“Hear you sing? No, of course not! That would give you even more fuel for your silly dreams!” Her words were the final blow; I nodded then turned and calmly walked out of the room. I slammed the front door shut; my patience only went so far.
I jogged down the walk to the road hurrying so they couldn’t call me back for more ‘talk’. Running away wasn’t helping my case, but it seemed to be lost anyway so why should I even bother. I was going to do what I wanted to, with or without their support.
The Second Place award was sitting in a special place in the back of my closet. If my mother had seen it she would’ve thrown it out. I flipped out my cell and scrolled down the list, finally settling on a number to dial. Ryeowook answered on the third ring, his voice a little irritated, but I didn’t care. “Hey, it’s Sungmin, sorry if I interrupted something but is there any way that we could hang out, Yesung’s there with you right?”
I could hear his embarrassment over the phone as he tried to reply, it was all just a bunch of words sputtered out. I sighed, waiting, and Yesung stole the phone away. “Hey, Sungmin, we’re not doing anything special, so we can meet you anywhere. Did something happen again?”
It was amazing how easily Yesung picked up on my moods. I had only known him for a week and he could tell that something was wrong. “How did you know?”
“You called Ryeowook, you normally avoid doing that. So, obviously you weren’t really thinking straight.” I heard Ryeowook’s small retort to that and I smiled. “Tell Ryeowook it’s not him.” Yesung told him and I could practically hear Ryeowook’s eyes roll.
“He doesn’t believe you.” Yesung’s voice was full of laughter and I couldn’t help but to smile.
“Probably because I’m lying.” Ryeowook and I got off on a bad foot. Ryeowook being so jealous of anyone coming anywhere near Yesung it was a wonder that I was even still alive. I heard Yesung make a noise in his throat that told me not to say anything else on the subject. “If I interrupted anything then just forget the plans.”
“We said we would come; now where do you want to meet?” Yesung’s voice was full of impatience.
“Meet me at the studio I guess.” I sighed and hung up.
We called the place where we practiced ‘the studio’. It made us feel a lot more special than we really were. The studio was just a small rented music room where we went all the time to practice. Even though it comforted me that I would be in some friendly company, I still felt angry and sad. My own parents were letting me down. There was never a time when I felt like I lived up to their expectations. Everything I did just disappointed them more. Maybe it would be better if I just…disappeared…who wanted parents that never believe in them?
It was then that I collided with someone. It was really both of our faults, my eyes being on the ground didn’t help much. We both fell flat on our asses causing curses to fly all around us. I jumped up and bowed quickly to the poor guy. “I’m so sorry!” It was then that I looked up and saw who I had almost run over. There was no doubt that he was mad at me, his face was turning a shade of red and he ignored my offered hand and got up himself. “You’re not hurt are you? I’m really sorry!”
The stranger started to look frantically at the ground, ignoring my apologies. I stared at him and glanced around me. “What…are you looking for?”
He glared at me angrily. “My book! It must have flown out of my hands when you ran into me.” He took his finger and pushed up his glasses which had gone a little askew on his face at the collision.
I took a breath to protest but the look he gave me was enough to silence anything I had to say. He looked utterly distraught. “What was the book called?” I asked, now was when the guilt kicked in. The book was no where to be seen and the guy looked like he was about to burst into sobs at any moment.
“Well…it’s actually for my English class…The Grapes of Wrath.” I stared blankly at him as he said the title in English. “Oh, never mind I shouldn’t have even bothered.”
I shook my head. “Wait! I feel really bad about all that happened. At least take me to a place where I can buy a copy for you.” I was practically begging him. After the evening I had I couldn’t have a side order of guilt added.
He seemed to be considering my offer seriously, and he looked me up and down. “Fine, I’ll lead you to where you can buy me the book.”
I smiled widely. So he wasn’t such a bad guy after all.
We walked down the road to a small bookstore. I looked around and realized that the shop had all English titles. I hadn’t even known it existed. He led me down an aisle and smiled when he picked up a copy of a book. I assumed that it was the right title. There was something about his smile that caught me off guard. After all the irritation it was a relief to see him smiling. “You should do that more often.” The words had left my mouth before I could take them out, and my smile was as wide as his.
He looked up at me, his smile leaving his face. “What do you mean?” His defenses went up again and I sighed, shaking my head and turning to walk to the register. “By the way, you didn’t have to do this for me…so I’m…really glad that I ran into you today.”
I stopped and turned to face him. He had a small grin on his face that looked a little forced. I could tell that it took a lot to say those words. Most of what I thought was hostility was just shyness. I nodded and smiled at him. “I’d do it any time. I feel really guilty.”
He stuck his hand out for me to shake and I stared at it awkwardly. “Oh!” He blushed and bowed to me, snapping his hand back. “Sorry, I was in America for a while. And I’m sorry I was rude earlier, I didn’t even introduce myself. My name is Kim Kibum.” Kibum stood straight and looked at me, smiling a smile that practically took my breath away.
What is up with me? I quickly bowed back to him, telling him my name in the process. It only took a few seconds to buy the book and when we walked out of the store we paused in front of the door. We were both, for some reason, reluctant to leave. “Do you want to accompany me and a couple friends? We could use another person.” There went my mouth again, blurting out ridiculous things.
Kibum looked at me funny for a second then he nodded. “Sure, that sounds like a plan.” We paused again, laughing awkwardly and I lead him to the studio.
Yesung and Ryeowook had arrived already and I walked in, my eyes on the ground. “Well, um, so I’m really sorry I’m late. I had a collision…”
Yesung glanced at my face then at Kibum. He smiled a little. “It’s okay we haven’t been here long.”
Ryeowook sighed heavily, indicating that he actually had been there for a lot more time than Yesung let on. I felt Kibum tense a little at Ryeowook’s rudeness. I glanced at him, confused at why he was acting like that. We had just met, under the worst of terms. What could he possibly be defensive over? “Anyway, sorry, this is Kibum. We sort of…literary…ran each other over.”
Yesung let out a snort and then bowed to him, introducing both him and Ryeowook. Kibum bowed back. “It’s a pleasure meeting both of you.”
There were a few moments of silence after the greetings. Yesung cleared his throat and walked towards me. “We could practice if you want, to get your mind off of everything.”
I glanced at Kibum. I performed in front of a large crowd, but for some reason performing in front of him made me more nervous than anything. I took a deep breath and held it in. “Maybe you two could practice. I’ll just listen to you.”
Yesung turned around to face Ryeowook but not before I saw his knowing smile. Ryeowook stood with his arms crossed over his chest studying me in silence. Their knowing looks made me feel even more insecure and finally I walked forward. “Never mind, I can practice. I wasn’t able to today anyway.”
I sneaked a glance at Kibum. He looked confused about what was going on. Our eyes met and I smiled at him, reassuring him that I wasn’t about to do something strange. He smiled back and again his smile almost killed me. My heart pounded as I turned away from him and I felt like I did back in the bathroom before the contest. What was wrong with me? The only thing different from everyday was that Kibum was here. I made it up to the sound stage and turned slowly to face all in the room. Ryeowook walked over to the small piano and started to play the opening chords. I took a deep breath and let it out, and then I started to sing. Closing my eyes blocked out anything that could make me nervous and the words of the song just tumbled from my mouth, my voice was smooth and didn’t crack, for once, I was actually getting through this song. When it was over I opened my eyes, smiling like a maniac. Yesung was smiling back at me and I jumped of the sound stage. “Did you hear that you guys, I finally made it through a song without my voice cracking!” I was beaming with pride. I looked around and found Kibum had moved to lean against the wall, he was staring at me with a spark in his eyes that I couldn’t understand. I furrowed my brows, confused at his reaction. He shook his head then turned his eyes down to the ground.
Yesung took me out of my thoughts. “What exactly happened with you? Was it your parents again?” This caught the attention of the whole room and I sighed, my smile leaving my face. I shifted my legs, really not wanting to talk about it.
Instead I went with nodding my head. Details weren’t a must right? “I’m thinking of moving out…”
Yesung stared at me and Ryeowook’s eyes got wide. “Why would you do that? They didn’t do anything to you did they? Your dad didn’t hit you or anything.” The horror in Ryeowook’s voice at the possibility caught both mine and Yesung’s attention.
“N-no Ryeowook, they didn’t hurt me…not physically anyway…I just need an out…” I felt the knot clog my throat. There was no way I would cry-not in front of someone I just met. I heard Kibum walk next to me and clear his throat. I looked at him and he stared at me, his eyes blazing with anger.
“How could your parents not believe in someone so talented?” Kibum’s voice shook with emotion and I blushed. “I think you should move out…” His voice trailed off and he went red. I looked at him in confusion, what was so embarrassing.
“I would, I just don’t know anyone I could room with.” Defeat was evident and I crossed my arms over my chest. There was no way I could afford to live on my own. I was doomed to stay with my parents since that was obviously the easiest way.
Kibum shifted nervously and then blurted, “I live by myself, my parents pay for it, I have an extra room…if you want to stay. I know we just met…but you seem trustworthy....” Kibum turned a bright shade of red again and looked at the ground. I had only known him for hours but I could tell he wasn’t use to feeling so embarrassed.
I looked up at Yesung, thinking about what I should do. Yesung looked like he approved, and he being a good judge of character I was leaning towards that solution. Ryeowook looked totally against it, but it took a lot for him to trust someone. I sighed. Finally I just threw my hands in the air. “Fine, I’ll take your offer….can you meet me at my place soon? Like…tomorrow?”
Kibum smiled and nodded. It was getting late anyway and Yesung mumbled something about having homework to do. Ryeowook immediately seconded the notion. There was something fishy about their eagerness to do homework, of all things. “Fine, you two can leave.”
I turned to Kibum, “Do you want me to walk you to your house, so I know where it is tomorrow?” It was like he was asking me on a date the way he blushed and I was suddenly nervous.
“S-sure, that sounds good.”
There was never anything as awkward as walking next to a guy you had just met a few hours ago--that you would be moving in with the next day. Conversation didn’t come natural at all. Kibum was a naturally quiet person, and I in my embarrassment was not Mr. Talkative either. So it was complete silence the whole walk down. Kibum glanced at me when I slowed down and I looked up at my house. “Well this is it!” I said, the most cliché line ever, but it was all I could think of to say. Kibum nodded then bowed at me awkwardly.
“Goodnight, Sungmin, I’ll be here tomorrow to help out with your move.” Kibum watched me as I bowed back to him then turned around and walked away. I watched him leave, a feeling of loss in my stomach. There was seriously something wrong with me. Agreeing to move in with a stranger? Had I lost my mind?
When I walked into the house it was dark and silent. My uneasiness became bigger and bigger as I climbed the steps. My mother was waiting outside my room. This was going to be a wonderful discussion.
“I’m back.” I said, my voice dead. She looked up at me, her face angry.
“You’re late!” She practically screamed it in my face and I jumped back, shocked at her anger. “You just run out and don’t tell us where you’re going, and then you’re late getting home? Do you know how worried we were?”
I stared at her, it was a wonder I had controlled my anger for this long. “Well, don’t worry anymore I won’t be living here starting tomorrow.”
There was a sick silence and I pushed past her to enter my room. She followed me and grabbed my shoulder. When I turned around she hit me hard across the cheek and I flinched, grabbing my face. “What do you mean you’re leaving?” She screeched her voice could be heard by dogs it was so high.
“I can’t live here anymore! How dare you lay a hand on me, you don’t deserve to be so upset when you never gave me a chance to prove myself!” I grabbed her shoulders and wheeled her out the door. “There’s nothing you can do to stop this from happening. I’m pursuing my dreams, and I can’t do that with you breathing down my neck all the time.”
I pushed her out of my room and locked my door. She pounded on the door for a few minutes, screaming that she could stop me, and then it all stopped. I heard my father’s voice and then they started to argue in their room.
I spent most of the night packing and was finally finished by the morning. I ignored my fatigue as I ran down the stairway to get the door. Kibum stood on the front step and I invited him in. He slipped his shoes off and put on our guest slippers, walking into the house and following me to my room. It took no time to get my bags all downstairs; I didn’t have much of my own so it was pretty easy. Kibum had rented a small car and he ignored my protests about the money he was spending on me. We filled the trunk then climbed in. I glanced at the house, my heart jerking a little when I saw the look my mother was giving me from the front door. I started to cry and I waved a little at her, she turned and swiftly ran into the house.
Kibum didn’t live far from me and we were soon at his apartment. I helped Kibum carry my bags up the steps, it only took two trips. On our last trip I was so tired I was practically about to keel over. Kibum shook his head in shame at me and we both turned when the door next to him opened and out came a young man, around our age. He was rapping to something he was listening to and when he caught sight of us his grin was so wide his gums showed. “Hey, Kibum! Who do we have here?”
“Hey Eunhyuk, this is Sungmin, he’ll be my roommate from now on.” I looked from Kibum and Eunhyuk then bowed to Eunhyuk.
“It’s really nice to meet you!”
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It's a lot longer than I indended it to be. I hope you enjoy!!
Next Chapter will be in Eunhyuk's pov, it'll be out next week!