What a tangled web...
So, yes I am back! Well, not with internet but I'm not getting that any time soon, so here is Chapter 5, sorry for the delay =/
It really isn't my fault. My dad's work is sucky, since the housing market is down he's working half as much.
So we're not getting internet for a few more weeks, maybe more =/
I hate it. You don't even know how much you miss it until it's gone. I want to cry. lol.
Anyways...
Sry you guys!!
Title: What a Tangled Web..
Pairings/Characters: YeWook, KiMin, EunHae, Siwon, HanChul
Rating: G for this chapter lol
Summary: Heechul is a run-away who just happens to run into two people who change his life forever. More so HanGeng who is always looking out for him. Love starts to fill his heart and the conflict within himself whether to tell or hide it puts Heechul at a crossroads. And will a tiny misunderstanding be able to tear them apart?
(this summary might be better than the fic lol!)
Chapter 5: Prince Charming Is Only In Fairy Tales
Ever since I was little I had always been obsessed with fairy tales and finding my perfect happily ever after. Because of this the boys in my school teased me mercilessly, calling me Cinderella and after the tears fell too many times I began to get sick of being weak. I took on the name, and people figured out not to bother me. My hair soon was as long as a girl’s and outside of school I wore clothes I thought suited me better. I felt more comfortable with a pink flowery shirt than whatever my parents picked out for me.
I was dubbed the ‘different one’ in our small country town. After another endless fight with my father I finally had enough. It was on the train ride to Seoul that I let the tears fall. It wasn’t hard to be myself when no one was around. I didn’t have to be strong and witty. I could just be the person I’ve always tried to hide: The one that no one has gotten through the barriers enough to see.
The train stopped mid-afternoon and my stomach growled its frustration. I pulled out the money I had saved and looked around for the closest map. The airport was just a short distance away and I began to walk, noticing the people glancing at me as they walked by. I wondered what they thought. By that one glance had they already judged me? I walked like I owned the world. My self-consciousness didn’t show at all in my outward appearance. I was what the world revolved around and those that didn’t like me could kiss it. It’s what I told myself, but only a small part of me believed it.
The hustle and bustle of the city as businessmen went in and out of the airport was a little intimidating. I took a quick look at my map and glanced up just in time to practically be run over by two people who looked like they wanted to kill each other. Before I could take a breath I started to yell at them, cursing and using every insult I could think of. My temper had snapped and I wasn’t ready to reel it in. Respect was really the last thing I was worried about.
There was silence finally as I caught my breath. The taller of the two threw his hands in the air, begging for God’s graces to save him. I huffed out a breath. “Oh, so you’re one of those people.” I rolled my eyes. He glanced at me, dropping his arms and took a breath to reply. I stopped him, “Sorry, I’m not looking for a preaching, just some food. I was on my way to get some before rudely run over.” I paused turning to the other. “Please explain why you are staring at me like that.” The second one hadn’t taken his eyes off of me since the beginning and it was starting to irritate me.
He annoyingly shrugged at me, not bothering to answer my question at all. Turning to his partner, he said, “It sounds like a decent idea, Siwon, I am pretty hungry.”
Siwon rolled his eyes. “Well you can go eat. I really have to get back to work.” Siwon made a move to leave but the other grabbed his arm.
“You know I have no money.” He said in a pointed way. Siwon jerked his arm out of his grip.
“Well, whose fault is that?”
I heard my stomach growl again and cleared my throat rudely, making them both look at me. “Just come on, I’ll cover it since this jerk wont.”
I saw the smile on his face and rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wondered if people really thought I was a girl. By the way he stared at me I believed he was a bit confused. We walked for a little bit until finally I turned to look at him. “I’m a guy, you know.” I was answered by his laugh, which I noticed was like music, and the most genuine laugh I’ve heard in a long time.
“Yeah, I got it.” I stared at him. How could he be so nonchalant about it? Why was he just walking like everything was normal.
“So, you’re not disgusted or weirded out?” I braced myself for the answer that was bound to come.
“Um, why would I be?” He continued to walk while I paused, staring after him. He was possibly the only one who had ever taken me for who I was without judging me. I smiled and caught up with him.
“I’m Heechul by the way.” He grinned at me, bowing like a gentleman.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m HanGeng.”
I smiled, not returning the bow. We finally got to the huge food court. There was so much to choose from. I felt like a big retard standing and gaping at the massive amounts of shops. I looked at HanGeng next to me and realized he was doing the same. “So, what do you want?” I didn’t wait for him to recover from his awe, or for him to answer. I just dragged him over to my favorite.
“Could you order me something? I wouldn’t even know where to start.” HanGeng smiled at me and I felt myself smile with him.
I ordered us both the same and found him sitting in one of the small tables for two. I sat across from him and began to eat. It wasn’t until I was halfway through that I realized he was staring at me. “What?”
He smiled, “Nothing, I was just curious, why anyone would judge you at first glance.”
I indicated my outfit and hair. “I’m not necessarily the picture of masculinity.”
He laughed again, filling the air with music. I sighed and shifted in my chair. There was definitely no way I would even go there. Looking at HanGeng, he was completely and utterly straight.
There was a small amount of awkward silence where we just filled our faces and stared at the floor or the table. I cleared my throat and looked up to meet HanGeng’s eyes. “So, you’re not from Korea, are you?”
HanGeng set his fork down and smiled. “How could you tell?”
“I just guessed, your Korean could use a lot of work, and the accent…” I trailed off. So what about polite talk?-I was never good at it anyway.
If he was offended by my directness he didn’t let onto it. “I’m from China; it’s kind of a coincidence I’m here anyway. I was a street performer and Siwon just walked up to watch me. I recognized him of course, he owns the most famous club and his father is dripping with money. I realized at the moment that it could be my only chance to ever get anywhere. So, I begged him to take me with him to Korea-and he agreed-more or less.”
I was kind of astonished. The Siwon I met had compassion? “So, how did you convince him? I mean it didn’t seem like he liked you too much when I saw you two.”
HanGeng grinned for a second. “It was just because I dashed his morals. He was just mad because he enjoyed what I did too much.”
This bit of news took me by surprised but I didn’t let on. “So, you raped him?”
HanGeng laughed. “No, it was just a very good kiss.”
I felt jealousy creep in my stomach and had to bite my tongue from saying anything. For once I didn’t want to blurt out each random thought that popped into my head. I really liked HanGeng, and though most of the time I couldn’t control the words that came out of my mouth I wanted to look good in his eyes. “So, where exactly is this club?”
“I don’t exactly know…I was told to tell the driver of the cap the name of it.”
I nodded, hoping that this club really was as popular as HanGeng was told. While we were finishing our food he asked me dozens of questions about myself. I didn’t mind too much, I really did like a conversation that was all about me. He asked me why I had left home to come here and I hesitated. The first reason was pretty obvious: the fact that no one ever accepted me, the second…not so much. From the time I could talk I had always been loud and outspoken. I found it really easy to step into a role and be someone else. My dream in life was to become an actor.
HanGeng was the only person I told that didn’t burst into laughter. He said he knew how it felt to have a dream everyone else thought was silly and would never happen. He told me that he hope it worked out alright. I smiled at him and continued the endless babble about me.
We finished and walked out of the airport. I had planned to ride in my own taxi but HanGeng convinced me that I had to see the club and accompany him to meet everyone that worked there. I didn’t see why anyone would need to give HanGeng moral support but I didn’t argue. The truth was I could spend all day with him and it wouldn’t hurt me at all.
When we stepped out of the cab we were met by Siwon who looked frazzled. “Where the hell have you been? I thought I would have to bring out a search party after you!”
I looked from HanGeng to Siwon and then grinned. “Is this worry I detect?”
Siwon glared at me. “No, I paid a large amount of money for him to come to Seoul, if he doesn’t make it I’m losing a lot. Oh and who said you could join our group? I thought you would leave after you had lunch with him.”
“I’m sorry, Siwon, he’s here to stay.” HanGeng watched as Siwon’s face turned smug to annoyed.
“And exactly when did you decide to order me around?”
HanGeng smirked. “When you made it clear that you needed me to succeed.”
I couldn’t hold the laughter in anymore. Siwon looked like he was about to explode from his anger. “I think I’m staying then, Siwon.”
He huffed out a breath and turned around, stomping into the club. HanGeng smiled at me and we both walked in after him. The club was classy inside, and much larger than I had expected from the outside. We both stood and stared. One of the waiters walked up to us, smiling a gummy smile and holding a tray filled with drinks. “You must be HanGeng. I think you deserve a free drink, both of you, for making Siwon that angry.” He introduced himself as Eunhyuk and after we were finished with all the annoying formalities we both ordered a drink. Another male, a little less bold than Eunhyuk, came up to us. He grabbed hold of Eunhyuk’s arm and Eunhyuk smiled at him. I instantly realized that they were together and I smiled knowingly at them. “This is Donghae, he’s the bartender. Donghae, this is Heechul and HanGeng.” Donghae grinned at each of us, and we smiled back. He seemed like a very open and honest person and before long was talking our ears off.
“I’ll order a drink, maybe that’ll get him to shut up.” There was silence and Donghae walked away to get the drink. I thought I saw tears in his eyes but wasn’t quite sure. I opened my mouth to apologize but HanGeng cut me off.
“Heechul most of the time doesn’t think before he speaks.” Eunhyuk nodded but didn’t stop staring after Donghae. When he finally came back I moved to stand beside him.
“Guess we’re not on a sarcasm-based relationship yet. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” It was as close to an apology as I could manage, but he gained his smile and his words back and was soon engaging us in a story with his neighbors, Sungmin and Kibum, and their friends, Yesung and Ryeowook. We were all laughing hysterically by the time Siwon cleared his throat beside us.
“I need to discuss living and other arrangements with you two,” He turned to Donghae and Eunhyuk. “Don’t both of you have jobs to do? I’m not paying you both to stand and talk.” Siwon turned and left for his office.
“Talk about a party pooper, jeez.” I received the satisfaction of Siwon’s back stiffening before he slung open his door and walked inside.
Eunhyuk wrote his cell number down and handed it to me. I smiled and moved to follow HanGeng. Before I could get away Donghae grabbed my arm. I looked back at him. “Promise you’ll come over.”
It wasn’t a question and I smiled. “What, you’re in love with me already?” It earned the smile of both Eunhyuk and Donghae. “Fine, I promise.”
When I turned HanGeng was smiling gently at me. It made my heart flutter. He really was good looking. I smacked his arm. “What are you giving me that look for?”
HanGeng shook his head and turned towards the office Siwon had gone into. “Let’s go see what he has to say.”
When I had left for Seoul I had expected my life to finally begin. It had happened a little quicker than I had expected. Meeting HanGeng, if I believed in that sort of thing, I would have said it was God sent. HanGeng convinced Siwon to give both of us each an apartment-a nice apartment. There was never a time when one of us disagreed on what we wanted and Siwon finally gave everything to us just to get us to shut up.
“Man, if I didn’t know you two had just met I’d think you had shared a brain for years.” We both rolled our eyes and left the office. I hadn’t slept since I was on the train and the alcohol I had drunk didn’t help my fatigue much. We both put our stuff in the same car; the one Siwon had given us to stop our complaining about cab fair. It didn’t take us long to get to the hotel. We gave the woman at the front desk Siwon’s name and code and we were given a room key. “I can really get use to this,” I told HanGeng. We were treated like royalty; they carried our bags up, opened our doors for us, and even asked us if they could fluff our pillows. When the employees left us alone both of us looked at each other and started to laugh. We were still both holding open our doors, which were across from each other, too reluctant to go into our rooms-or at least I was.
“Well, I guess I’m going to go to sleep. It’s been a long night.” I slid through my door quickly, or I never would go in.
“Goodnight, Heechul, sweet dreams.” His voice sounded so sincere. I sighed as my door clicked closed pressing my back against it and dropping my head in defeat. There was a dream I had once where in it I had found my happily ever after: A love that was as pure as snow. I just never realized my prince would be exactly that-a prince. I changed into my Looney Toon’s pajamas and lay on my bed. I thought of the turn my life had taken in just a day and drifted off. That night started the first dreams of a prince who looked suspiciously like HanGeng. How exactly did that story end again? Cinderella lived happily ever after, right?
The next morning HanGeng tapped on the door. I still was asleep and so it really wasn’t a welcome visit. I still had on my pjs when I opened the door, ready to yell at the cleaning people. When I saw HanGeng behind it I allowed my anger to dissolve. He looked adorable standing in my doorway holding a steaming plate of some kind of rice and smiling like a lunatic. “You look very attractive in the morning.” He smiled again, at his own attempt at humor. “I brought you food. I figured you’d most likely had not eaten yet.”
I yawned. “What is it?” I prodded at the rice.
“Beijing fried rice.” I smiled at the absolute ‘duh’ way he said it.
“You know, there’s nothing like being treated like a total moron in the morning.” I said this through rice and HanGeng laughed but moved close to my face.
“Would you have liked me to kiss you instead?” His eyes drifted down to my mouth and I swallowed, my heart slamming against my chest in reaction.
“That would’ve been a hell of a good morning.” My voice was calm, hiding what was going on in my body. I seemed to have found the only person who could affect me like he did.
HanGeng finally moved away, chuckling to himself and he pulled a newspaper out from his jean pocked. “I thought you might be interested in this.” It was an ad for an acting gig, the auditions started tomorrow. I smiled up at him and jumped from my seat, pulling him into a hug, and then I pulled away just as quickly.
“Thanks, Hannie, this means a lot!” I was practically crying and had to turn away from him. That morning began the endless mornings of HanGeng taking care of me, bringing me food because he expressed the worry that I wasn’t eating enough. He held me in his arms when I didn’t get the part in some drama or play. HanGeng was the only one I had shown my tears to. He’d wipe them away and tell me that I should never give up on something that meant so much to me. In a way he was just fueling my silly imagination that we could ever be together. Mixed into my dream to become an actor was also the dream to have him. It didn’t help that each time I opened the door to see him standing there I fell in love even more.
When we didn’t hang out alone we were with Donghae and Eunhyuk. Usually the whole group came over to drink, or show off their new trophy for their performances. Yesung and Ryeowook seemed to have one each week. Sungmin and Kibum always showed up with them. Sungmin was like a mother hen, always worrying over all of us to the extreme. Every time he showed up he brought food. Kibum, being used to his fussing just smiled at him. He still was embarrassed to show just how close he was with Sungmin, but when he was drunk he became a lot freer and more than a few times he pulled Sungmin in for a kiss that could scorch holes into the floor. Most of the time I spent with them I was envying each of the relationships, wishing that I could have that with Hannie. Another thing I loved to do was flirt incessantly with Yesung, just to see Ryeowook turn a bright pink.
Sungmin was the only one who knew how I truly felt. I had to tell him the details after he cornered me and asked several times. From then on I talked to him about it all the time.
“You know it’s his birthday in a couple weeks, right?” Sungmin smiled at me and I could tell he had some scheme to tell me. I put my hand up.
“I know already. I have a plan so don’t tell me yours.”
HanGeng walked in with drinks in his hand. “Here, I brought your favorite.” I smiled at him and he looked from me to Sungmin, suspicion in his eyes. “What were you two talking about?”
Sungmin’s eyes slid to mine and he smiled at me. “We were just talking about your birthday, that’s all. Heechul was saying how he got you this really cool present.”
I shot him daggers then turned to Hannie and grinned. “It’s actually not that great.”
“When did you get all humble? It’s really great!” I really wanted to kill Sungmin.
Hannie just smiled at me. “I told you that you didn’t have to worry about it.”
I just shrugged. “Fine, then I just won’t give it to you.” I stuck my tongue out and he rolled his eyes.
The truth was I had spent all of the free time I had working on his gift. Now all I needed was Sungmin’s help which was the last thing I really wanted to ask.
“You have been acting really weird lately; I’m kind of scared to find out what my gift is.” Hannie laughed and I smiled, it was a little forced thought.
“I bet you’ll love it!” Sungmin’s enthusiasm erased my smile. It was like nothing could affect him, he was always so positive.
“Hey, can I talk to Sungmin alone, Hannie; it’ll just take a couple minutes.” I shoved him from the room without an answer. I turned back to Sungmin. “So, this ‘magnificent’ present needs a little help. Could you play your guitar for me?”
Sungmin smiled from ear to ear. “You wrote a song for him? That is like ten times better than what I thought of!”
“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” I turned and walked out of the room, running into Hannie in the process. “You have a habit of doing this, don’t you?”
“You have a habit of being in my way.” Hannie smiled, but it was a little off.
“What? What’s wrong?” I didn’t like his worried glance.
“What did you have to talk to Sungmin about?”
“Nothing important…” My voice trailed off and he raised an eyebrow. “Ok, Mr. Jealousy, why do you want to know?”
“Me jealous, of what?” Hannie huffed out a breath but still looked bothered.
“Come on, let’s go get drunk and listen to Donghae’s stories.” I wanted to let him know that everything was okay. He didn’t have to worry about anything, I was already completely his, but there was something that held me back from saying it-some silly fear that I would be rejected by him.
The whole night Hannie just stared at his cup and didn’t speak. I tried to be louder, more humorous, to get him to smile but it didn’t work at all. By the time the rest had left the apartment I was already depressed. Hannie was still on the couch. I had lost count of how many drinks he had poured himself.
“Come on, it’s really late Hannie, Siwon will kill you if you’re hung over tomorrow.” I grabbed his shoulders to hoist him up so he could stand but he pulled me down beside him. I knew what he was going to do before he acted on it and shoved him off the couch.
“What did you do that for?” He stared at me, hurt, but I glared at him steadily.
“You’re drunk, if you kiss me now it won’t mean anything.” I pulled him up and helped him to the door. He sighed and leaned on my shoulder.
“Heechul, do you know how much I think about you? How worried you make me, how jealous I am of anyone who looks at you?” He buried his face in my neck and I opened my apartment door.
“Come on, you need to sleep.” I heard my voice shaking and I swallowed. I grabbed the key he had given me and unlocked his door for him. Hannie allowed me to lead him to his bedroom and he fell on the bed. Before I was able to get his shoes off he was snoring softly.
I hurried back to my room, to push away the temptation to lay in bed with him. I closed my door and went to lie on my own bed. I felt a couple tears slide down my cheeks. HanGeng had said everything I ever wanted him to say. I just wished it was done at a different time, and not just stupid drunken words.
The next morning I woke up to knocking on my door. I slowly got up and realized hadn’t changed out of my clothes from the night before. I moved to the door, the knocking becoming more incessant by the second. “Jeez, I’m coming!”
It stopped and I opened the door-ready to greet Hannie-but finding Sungmin with a guitar case in his hand instead. I grabbed the case quickly, hiding it behind me, just as Hannie’s door opened. He looked up and saw us two and frowned. “Hey, you’re here early.”
Sungmin smiled and I stared wide-eyed at him “We’re just hanging out, I asked him to help me with something.”
“Oh, of course, you both have fun.” HanGeng turned and left. I stared after him and looked at Sungmin.
“I think he thinks something’s going on with us.” Sungmin burst out laughing. “I know it’s crazy, but last night…”
Sungmin stared at me but I shook my head. “So, where are the music notes?” It was a relief that Sungmin didn’t pry for once. I wasn’t looking for a heart to heart.
The next week I spent with Sungmin working on my song. It wasn’t hard to come up with excuses to get HanGeng out of the apartment, even if he was more suspicious each day. I tried to make it sound like two friends hanging out but the more I downplayed it the more jealous he became.
It was finally the day before his birthday and I spent all of it putting together the song. I stared at the clock the whole time, part of me wanting it to move faster, the other part wanting it to stop completely. My nerves weren’t ready for this. I was about to spill my feelings out on the table for a man that could possibly just see me as a friend.
That morning it was me who knocked on Hannie’s door. I had a homemade, kind of retarded looking, cake and seaweed soup for him to eat. I had worked hard on both all morning. Hannie pulled open the door and I waited while he took everything in, shouting, “Happy Birthday!” He smiled and pulled the door all the way open to reveal he was wearing nothing but his boxers. I almost dropped everything, but kept my cool and calmly stepped into his apartment without waiting for him to invite me.
“So, this is my present?” He sounded disappointed and I feigned hurt.
“Please, this is just the beginning.” I smiled and he stared at me, his smile becoming a frown.
“Nothing’s going on between you and Sungmin, right?” He stared at his hands but jerked his eyes up when I started to laugh. “No, I’m serious! Nothing’s going on right?”
“Hannie, nothing would ever go on between me and that powder puff.” Hannie raised his eyebrows giving me a quick once-over making me remember my outfit consisted of black pants and a flowery powder blue peasant shirt. “Okay, I like these clothes, sue me! But Sungmin just had to help me with something…” I smiled and pulled the CD out of my pocket, my hands shaking a bit when I handed it to him. “Here’s your gift, Hannie, come find me when you’ve listened to it. I’ll be with Donghae and Eunhyuk watching them work, okay?”
“I’ll come find you, Cinderella,” He smirked, and I chuckled. He looked at the CD and I walked out of his apartment, my heart felt like it had suddenly dropped into my stomach. There wasn’t anything I could do to save myself. I couldn’t take it back now. So all I had to do was wait for him.
I took a cab to Siwon’s club and sat at the bar. Sungmin had drug Kibum out of the apartment to ‘see what all the fuss was about’. I didn’t believe it for a second. He just wanted to see how my plan turned out. I had drunk at least four glasses of alcohol before HanGeng entered the building. I looked into his eyes and didn’t see anything that might make me worry. He looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. I wondered how much he had thought about all I had said in those songs as he walked towards me. I didn’t want to know what he thought. Soon he was next to me and it felt like all the air was sucked from my body. I looked up at him and he leaned down, close to my face. “I’m really surprised I didn’t see it before,” he whispered and I swallowed, trying to get the lump that had formed in my throat to go away. I had set it up so clear in my mind that moment of rejection I had never thought it could turn out okay-wonderful-like a happily ever after. “You’re in love with me, too?” And here I thought my feelings were one-sided.
“Wh-?” I didn’t get the rest out for he was kissing me before I could even react. His lips were like a drug and I was instantly addiction. The kiss was hot just like I had dreamed and I curled my fingers in his hair pulling him farther down to deepen the kiss. I almost forgot there were other people around when a sudden crash broke us apart and we spun to see a fight between two guys break out. One was a burley guy who looked close to Donghae’s age and the other looked like an angel, flawless-beautiful. It didn’t look like a fair fight to me.
I moved to break the two apart, the flawless one began to cry the minute I pulled him away, sobbing something like, “I can fix it, he’s going to pay, just let me fix it!” I shoved the burley guy back and turned towards the other.
“What happened?”
“I-I tried to help. I just needed to help him, but I think I made it worse!”
“I’ll say.”
He burst into tears, his whole face reflecting the grief that was emphasized in his voice.
“First tell me your name, and who are you saving?” I tried to talk a little reason into him.
“Me? I’m Leeteuk, or at least that’s what everyone calls me, and Kangin is in trouble. Or at least he is now…” Leeteuk burst into sobs again.
I looked around and found Hannie looking back at me. “Some birthday, huh?”
My sarcastic remark earned a heavier sob from Leeteuk. I sighed; it was going to be a long night.
It really isn't my fault. My dad's work is sucky, since the housing market is down he's working half as much.
So we're not getting internet for a few more weeks, maybe more =/
I hate it. You don't even know how much you miss it until it's gone. I want to cry. lol.
Anyways...
Sry you guys!!
Title: What a Tangled Web..
Pairings/Characters: YeWook, KiMin, EunHae, Siwon, HanChul
Rating: G for this chapter lol
Summary: Heechul is a run-away who just happens to run into two people who change his life forever. More so HanGeng who is always looking out for him. Love starts to fill his heart and the conflict within himself whether to tell or hide it puts Heechul at a crossroads. And will a tiny misunderstanding be able to tear them apart?
(this summary might be better than the fic lol!)
Chapter 5: Prince Charming Is Only In Fairy Tales
Ever since I was little I had always been obsessed with fairy tales and finding my perfect happily ever after. Because of this the boys in my school teased me mercilessly, calling me Cinderella and after the tears fell too many times I began to get sick of being weak. I took on the name, and people figured out not to bother me. My hair soon was as long as a girl’s and outside of school I wore clothes I thought suited me better. I felt more comfortable with a pink flowery shirt than whatever my parents picked out for me.
I was dubbed the ‘different one’ in our small country town. After another endless fight with my father I finally had enough. It was on the train ride to Seoul that I let the tears fall. It wasn’t hard to be myself when no one was around. I didn’t have to be strong and witty. I could just be the person I’ve always tried to hide: The one that no one has gotten through the barriers enough to see.
The train stopped mid-afternoon and my stomach growled its frustration. I pulled out the money I had saved and looked around for the closest map. The airport was just a short distance away and I began to walk, noticing the people glancing at me as they walked by. I wondered what they thought. By that one glance had they already judged me? I walked like I owned the world. My self-consciousness didn’t show at all in my outward appearance. I was what the world revolved around and those that didn’t like me could kiss it. It’s what I told myself, but only a small part of me believed it.
The hustle and bustle of the city as businessmen went in and out of the airport was a little intimidating. I took a quick look at my map and glanced up just in time to practically be run over by two people who looked like they wanted to kill each other. Before I could take a breath I started to yell at them, cursing and using every insult I could think of. My temper had snapped and I wasn’t ready to reel it in. Respect was really the last thing I was worried about.
There was silence finally as I caught my breath. The taller of the two threw his hands in the air, begging for God’s graces to save him. I huffed out a breath. “Oh, so you’re one of those people.” I rolled my eyes. He glanced at me, dropping his arms and took a breath to reply. I stopped him, “Sorry, I’m not looking for a preaching, just some food. I was on my way to get some before rudely run over.” I paused turning to the other. “Please explain why you are staring at me like that.” The second one hadn’t taken his eyes off of me since the beginning and it was starting to irritate me.
He annoyingly shrugged at me, not bothering to answer my question at all. Turning to his partner, he said, “It sounds like a decent idea, Siwon, I am pretty hungry.”
Siwon rolled his eyes. “Well you can go eat. I really have to get back to work.” Siwon made a move to leave but the other grabbed his arm.
“You know I have no money.” He said in a pointed way. Siwon jerked his arm out of his grip.
“Well, whose fault is that?”
I heard my stomach growl again and cleared my throat rudely, making them both look at me. “Just come on, I’ll cover it since this jerk wont.”
I saw the smile on his face and rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wondered if people really thought I was a girl. By the way he stared at me I believed he was a bit confused. We walked for a little bit until finally I turned to look at him. “I’m a guy, you know.” I was answered by his laugh, which I noticed was like music, and the most genuine laugh I’ve heard in a long time.
“Yeah, I got it.” I stared at him. How could he be so nonchalant about it? Why was he just walking like everything was normal.
“So, you’re not disgusted or weirded out?” I braced myself for the answer that was bound to come.
“Um, why would I be?” He continued to walk while I paused, staring after him. He was possibly the only one who had ever taken me for who I was without judging me. I smiled and caught up with him.
“I’m Heechul by the way.” He grinned at me, bowing like a gentleman.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m HanGeng.”
I smiled, not returning the bow. We finally got to the huge food court. There was so much to choose from. I felt like a big retard standing and gaping at the massive amounts of shops. I looked at HanGeng next to me and realized he was doing the same. “So, what do you want?” I didn’t wait for him to recover from his awe, or for him to answer. I just dragged him over to my favorite.
“Could you order me something? I wouldn’t even know where to start.” HanGeng smiled at me and I felt myself smile with him.
I ordered us both the same and found him sitting in one of the small tables for two. I sat across from him and began to eat. It wasn’t until I was halfway through that I realized he was staring at me. “What?”
He smiled, “Nothing, I was just curious, why anyone would judge you at first glance.”
I indicated my outfit and hair. “I’m not necessarily the picture of masculinity.”
He laughed again, filling the air with music. I sighed and shifted in my chair. There was definitely no way I would even go there. Looking at HanGeng, he was completely and utterly straight.
There was a small amount of awkward silence where we just filled our faces and stared at the floor or the table. I cleared my throat and looked up to meet HanGeng’s eyes. “So, you’re not from Korea, are you?”
HanGeng set his fork down and smiled. “How could you tell?”
“I just guessed, your Korean could use a lot of work, and the accent…” I trailed off. So what about polite talk?-I was never good at it anyway.
If he was offended by my directness he didn’t let onto it. “I’m from China; it’s kind of a coincidence I’m here anyway. I was a street performer and Siwon just walked up to watch me. I recognized him of course, he owns the most famous club and his father is dripping with money. I realized at the moment that it could be my only chance to ever get anywhere. So, I begged him to take me with him to Korea-and he agreed-more or less.”
I was kind of astonished. The Siwon I met had compassion? “So, how did you convince him? I mean it didn’t seem like he liked you too much when I saw you two.”
HanGeng grinned for a second. “It was just because I dashed his morals. He was just mad because he enjoyed what I did too much.”
This bit of news took me by surprised but I didn’t let on. “So, you raped him?”
HanGeng laughed. “No, it was just a very good kiss.”
I felt jealousy creep in my stomach and had to bite my tongue from saying anything. For once I didn’t want to blurt out each random thought that popped into my head. I really liked HanGeng, and though most of the time I couldn’t control the words that came out of my mouth I wanted to look good in his eyes. “So, where exactly is this club?”
“I don’t exactly know…I was told to tell the driver of the cap the name of it.”
I nodded, hoping that this club really was as popular as HanGeng was told. While we were finishing our food he asked me dozens of questions about myself. I didn’t mind too much, I really did like a conversation that was all about me. He asked me why I had left home to come here and I hesitated. The first reason was pretty obvious: the fact that no one ever accepted me, the second…not so much. From the time I could talk I had always been loud and outspoken. I found it really easy to step into a role and be someone else. My dream in life was to become an actor.
HanGeng was the only person I told that didn’t burst into laughter. He said he knew how it felt to have a dream everyone else thought was silly and would never happen. He told me that he hope it worked out alright. I smiled at him and continued the endless babble about me.
We finished and walked out of the airport. I had planned to ride in my own taxi but HanGeng convinced me that I had to see the club and accompany him to meet everyone that worked there. I didn’t see why anyone would need to give HanGeng moral support but I didn’t argue. The truth was I could spend all day with him and it wouldn’t hurt me at all.
When we stepped out of the cab we were met by Siwon who looked frazzled. “Where the hell have you been? I thought I would have to bring out a search party after you!”
I looked from HanGeng to Siwon and then grinned. “Is this worry I detect?”
Siwon glared at me. “No, I paid a large amount of money for him to come to Seoul, if he doesn’t make it I’m losing a lot. Oh and who said you could join our group? I thought you would leave after you had lunch with him.”
“I’m sorry, Siwon, he’s here to stay.” HanGeng watched as Siwon’s face turned smug to annoyed.
“And exactly when did you decide to order me around?”
HanGeng smirked. “When you made it clear that you needed me to succeed.”
I couldn’t hold the laughter in anymore. Siwon looked like he was about to explode from his anger. “I think I’m staying then, Siwon.”
He huffed out a breath and turned around, stomping into the club. HanGeng smiled at me and we both walked in after him. The club was classy inside, and much larger than I had expected from the outside. We both stood and stared. One of the waiters walked up to us, smiling a gummy smile and holding a tray filled with drinks. “You must be HanGeng. I think you deserve a free drink, both of you, for making Siwon that angry.” He introduced himself as Eunhyuk and after we were finished with all the annoying formalities we both ordered a drink. Another male, a little less bold than Eunhyuk, came up to us. He grabbed hold of Eunhyuk’s arm and Eunhyuk smiled at him. I instantly realized that they were together and I smiled knowingly at them. “This is Donghae, he’s the bartender. Donghae, this is Heechul and HanGeng.” Donghae grinned at each of us, and we smiled back. He seemed like a very open and honest person and before long was talking our ears off.
“I’ll order a drink, maybe that’ll get him to shut up.” There was silence and Donghae walked away to get the drink. I thought I saw tears in his eyes but wasn’t quite sure. I opened my mouth to apologize but HanGeng cut me off.
“Heechul most of the time doesn’t think before he speaks.” Eunhyuk nodded but didn’t stop staring after Donghae. When he finally came back I moved to stand beside him.
“Guess we’re not on a sarcasm-based relationship yet. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” It was as close to an apology as I could manage, but he gained his smile and his words back and was soon engaging us in a story with his neighbors, Sungmin and Kibum, and their friends, Yesung and Ryeowook. We were all laughing hysterically by the time Siwon cleared his throat beside us.
“I need to discuss living and other arrangements with you two,” He turned to Donghae and Eunhyuk. “Don’t both of you have jobs to do? I’m not paying you both to stand and talk.” Siwon turned and left for his office.
“Talk about a party pooper, jeez.” I received the satisfaction of Siwon’s back stiffening before he slung open his door and walked inside.
Eunhyuk wrote his cell number down and handed it to me. I smiled and moved to follow HanGeng. Before I could get away Donghae grabbed my arm. I looked back at him. “Promise you’ll come over.”
It wasn’t a question and I smiled. “What, you’re in love with me already?” It earned the smile of both Eunhyuk and Donghae. “Fine, I promise.”
When I turned HanGeng was smiling gently at me. It made my heart flutter. He really was good looking. I smacked his arm. “What are you giving me that look for?”
HanGeng shook his head and turned towards the office Siwon had gone into. “Let’s go see what he has to say.”
When I had left for Seoul I had expected my life to finally begin. It had happened a little quicker than I had expected. Meeting HanGeng, if I believed in that sort of thing, I would have said it was God sent. HanGeng convinced Siwon to give both of us each an apartment-a nice apartment. There was never a time when one of us disagreed on what we wanted and Siwon finally gave everything to us just to get us to shut up.
“Man, if I didn’t know you two had just met I’d think you had shared a brain for years.” We both rolled our eyes and left the office. I hadn’t slept since I was on the train and the alcohol I had drunk didn’t help my fatigue much. We both put our stuff in the same car; the one Siwon had given us to stop our complaining about cab fair. It didn’t take us long to get to the hotel. We gave the woman at the front desk Siwon’s name and code and we were given a room key. “I can really get use to this,” I told HanGeng. We were treated like royalty; they carried our bags up, opened our doors for us, and even asked us if they could fluff our pillows. When the employees left us alone both of us looked at each other and started to laugh. We were still both holding open our doors, which were across from each other, too reluctant to go into our rooms-or at least I was.
“Well, I guess I’m going to go to sleep. It’s been a long night.” I slid through my door quickly, or I never would go in.
“Goodnight, Heechul, sweet dreams.” His voice sounded so sincere. I sighed as my door clicked closed pressing my back against it and dropping my head in defeat. There was a dream I had once where in it I had found my happily ever after: A love that was as pure as snow. I just never realized my prince would be exactly that-a prince. I changed into my Looney Toon’s pajamas and lay on my bed. I thought of the turn my life had taken in just a day and drifted off. That night started the first dreams of a prince who looked suspiciously like HanGeng. How exactly did that story end again? Cinderella lived happily ever after, right?
The next morning HanGeng tapped on the door. I still was asleep and so it really wasn’t a welcome visit. I still had on my pjs when I opened the door, ready to yell at the cleaning people. When I saw HanGeng behind it I allowed my anger to dissolve. He looked adorable standing in my doorway holding a steaming plate of some kind of rice and smiling like a lunatic. “You look very attractive in the morning.” He smiled again, at his own attempt at humor. “I brought you food. I figured you’d most likely had not eaten yet.”
I yawned. “What is it?” I prodded at the rice.
“Beijing fried rice.” I smiled at the absolute ‘duh’ way he said it.
“You know, there’s nothing like being treated like a total moron in the morning.” I said this through rice and HanGeng laughed but moved close to my face.
“Would you have liked me to kiss you instead?” His eyes drifted down to my mouth and I swallowed, my heart slamming against my chest in reaction.
“That would’ve been a hell of a good morning.” My voice was calm, hiding what was going on in my body. I seemed to have found the only person who could affect me like he did.
HanGeng finally moved away, chuckling to himself and he pulled a newspaper out from his jean pocked. “I thought you might be interested in this.” It was an ad for an acting gig, the auditions started tomorrow. I smiled up at him and jumped from my seat, pulling him into a hug, and then I pulled away just as quickly.
“Thanks, Hannie, this means a lot!” I was practically crying and had to turn away from him. That morning began the endless mornings of HanGeng taking care of me, bringing me food because he expressed the worry that I wasn’t eating enough. He held me in his arms when I didn’t get the part in some drama or play. HanGeng was the only one I had shown my tears to. He’d wipe them away and tell me that I should never give up on something that meant so much to me. In a way he was just fueling my silly imagination that we could ever be together. Mixed into my dream to become an actor was also the dream to have him. It didn’t help that each time I opened the door to see him standing there I fell in love even more.
When we didn’t hang out alone we were with Donghae and Eunhyuk. Usually the whole group came over to drink, or show off their new trophy for their performances. Yesung and Ryeowook seemed to have one each week. Sungmin and Kibum always showed up with them. Sungmin was like a mother hen, always worrying over all of us to the extreme. Every time he showed up he brought food. Kibum, being used to his fussing just smiled at him. He still was embarrassed to show just how close he was with Sungmin, but when he was drunk he became a lot freer and more than a few times he pulled Sungmin in for a kiss that could scorch holes into the floor. Most of the time I spent with them I was envying each of the relationships, wishing that I could have that with Hannie. Another thing I loved to do was flirt incessantly with Yesung, just to see Ryeowook turn a bright pink.
Sungmin was the only one who knew how I truly felt. I had to tell him the details after he cornered me and asked several times. From then on I talked to him about it all the time.
“You know it’s his birthday in a couple weeks, right?” Sungmin smiled at me and I could tell he had some scheme to tell me. I put my hand up.
“I know already. I have a plan so don’t tell me yours.”
HanGeng walked in with drinks in his hand. “Here, I brought your favorite.” I smiled at him and he looked from me to Sungmin, suspicion in his eyes. “What were you two talking about?”
Sungmin’s eyes slid to mine and he smiled at me. “We were just talking about your birthday, that’s all. Heechul was saying how he got you this really cool present.”
I shot him daggers then turned to Hannie and grinned. “It’s actually not that great.”
“When did you get all humble? It’s really great!” I really wanted to kill Sungmin.
Hannie just smiled at me. “I told you that you didn’t have to worry about it.”
I just shrugged. “Fine, then I just won’t give it to you.” I stuck my tongue out and he rolled his eyes.
The truth was I had spent all of the free time I had working on his gift. Now all I needed was Sungmin’s help which was the last thing I really wanted to ask.
“You have been acting really weird lately; I’m kind of scared to find out what my gift is.” Hannie laughed and I smiled, it was a little forced thought.
“I bet you’ll love it!” Sungmin’s enthusiasm erased my smile. It was like nothing could affect him, he was always so positive.
“Hey, can I talk to Sungmin alone, Hannie; it’ll just take a couple minutes.” I shoved him from the room without an answer. I turned back to Sungmin. “So, this ‘magnificent’ present needs a little help. Could you play your guitar for me?”
Sungmin smiled from ear to ear. “You wrote a song for him? That is like ten times better than what I thought of!”
“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” I turned and walked out of the room, running into Hannie in the process. “You have a habit of doing this, don’t you?”
“You have a habit of being in my way.” Hannie smiled, but it was a little off.
“What? What’s wrong?” I didn’t like his worried glance.
“What did you have to talk to Sungmin about?”
“Nothing important…” My voice trailed off and he raised an eyebrow. “Ok, Mr. Jealousy, why do you want to know?”
“Me jealous, of what?” Hannie huffed out a breath but still looked bothered.
“Come on, let’s go get drunk and listen to Donghae’s stories.” I wanted to let him know that everything was okay. He didn’t have to worry about anything, I was already completely his, but there was something that held me back from saying it-some silly fear that I would be rejected by him.
The whole night Hannie just stared at his cup and didn’t speak. I tried to be louder, more humorous, to get him to smile but it didn’t work at all. By the time the rest had left the apartment I was already depressed. Hannie was still on the couch. I had lost count of how many drinks he had poured himself.
“Come on, it’s really late Hannie, Siwon will kill you if you’re hung over tomorrow.” I grabbed his shoulders to hoist him up so he could stand but he pulled me down beside him. I knew what he was going to do before he acted on it and shoved him off the couch.
“What did you do that for?” He stared at me, hurt, but I glared at him steadily.
“You’re drunk, if you kiss me now it won’t mean anything.” I pulled him up and helped him to the door. He sighed and leaned on my shoulder.
“Heechul, do you know how much I think about you? How worried you make me, how jealous I am of anyone who looks at you?” He buried his face in my neck and I opened my apartment door.
“Come on, you need to sleep.” I heard my voice shaking and I swallowed. I grabbed the key he had given me and unlocked his door for him. Hannie allowed me to lead him to his bedroom and he fell on the bed. Before I was able to get his shoes off he was snoring softly.
I hurried back to my room, to push away the temptation to lay in bed with him. I closed my door and went to lie on my own bed. I felt a couple tears slide down my cheeks. HanGeng had said everything I ever wanted him to say. I just wished it was done at a different time, and not just stupid drunken words.
The next morning I woke up to knocking on my door. I slowly got up and realized hadn’t changed out of my clothes from the night before. I moved to the door, the knocking becoming more incessant by the second. “Jeez, I’m coming!”
It stopped and I opened the door-ready to greet Hannie-but finding Sungmin with a guitar case in his hand instead. I grabbed the case quickly, hiding it behind me, just as Hannie’s door opened. He looked up and saw us two and frowned. “Hey, you’re here early.”
Sungmin smiled and I stared wide-eyed at him “We’re just hanging out, I asked him to help me with something.”
“Oh, of course, you both have fun.” HanGeng turned and left. I stared after him and looked at Sungmin.
“I think he thinks something’s going on with us.” Sungmin burst out laughing. “I know it’s crazy, but last night…”
Sungmin stared at me but I shook my head. “So, where are the music notes?” It was a relief that Sungmin didn’t pry for once. I wasn’t looking for a heart to heart.
The next week I spent with Sungmin working on my song. It wasn’t hard to come up with excuses to get HanGeng out of the apartment, even if he was more suspicious each day. I tried to make it sound like two friends hanging out but the more I downplayed it the more jealous he became.
It was finally the day before his birthday and I spent all of it putting together the song. I stared at the clock the whole time, part of me wanting it to move faster, the other part wanting it to stop completely. My nerves weren’t ready for this. I was about to spill my feelings out on the table for a man that could possibly just see me as a friend.
That morning it was me who knocked on Hannie’s door. I had a homemade, kind of retarded looking, cake and seaweed soup for him to eat. I had worked hard on both all morning. Hannie pulled open the door and I waited while he took everything in, shouting, “Happy Birthday!” He smiled and pulled the door all the way open to reveal he was wearing nothing but his boxers. I almost dropped everything, but kept my cool and calmly stepped into his apartment without waiting for him to invite me.
“So, this is my present?” He sounded disappointed and I feigned hurt.
“Please, this is just the beginning.” I smiled and he stared at me, his smile becoming a frown.
“Nothing’s going on between you and Sungmin, right?” He stared at his hands but jerked his eyes up when I started to laugh. “No, I’m serious! Nothing’s going on right?”
“Hannie, nothing would ever go on between me and that powder puff.” Hannie raised his eyebrows giving me a quick once-over making me remember my outfit consisted of black pants and a flowery powder blue peasant shirt. “Okay, I like these clothes, sue me! But Sungmin just had to help me with something…” I smiled and pulled the CD out of my pocket, my hands shaking a bit when I handed it to him. “Here’s your gift, Hannie, come find me when you’ve listened to it. I’ll be with Donghae and Eunhyuk watching them work, okay?”
“I’ll come find you, Cinderella,” He smirked, and I chuckled. He looked at the CD and I walked out of his apartment, my heart felt like it had suddenly dropped into my stomach. There wasn’t anything I could do to save myself. I couldn’t take it back now. So all I had to do was wait for him.
I took a cab to Siwon’s club and sat at the bar. Sungmin had drug Kibum out of the apartment to ‘see what all the fuss was about’. I didn’t believe it for a second. He just wanted to see how my plan turned out. I had drunk at least four glasses of alcohol before HanGeng entered the building. I looked into his eyes and didn’t see anything that might make me worry. He looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. I wondered how much he had thought about all I had said in those songs as he walked towards me. I didn’t want to know what he thought. Soon he was next to me and it felt like all the air was sucked from my body. I looked up at him and he leaned down, close to my face. “I’m really surprised I didn’t see it before,” he whispered and I swallowed, trying to get the lump that had formed in my throat to go away. I had set it up so clear in my mind that moment of rejection I had never thought it could turn out okay-wonderful-like a happily ever after. “You’re in love with me, too?” And here I thought my feelings were one-sided.
“Wh-?” I didn’t get the rest out for he was kissing me before I could even react. His lips were like a drug and I was instantly addiction. The kiss was hot just like I had dreamed and I curled my fingers in his hair pulling him farther down to deepen the kiss. I almost forgot there were other people around when a sudden crash broke us apart and we spun to see a fight between two guys break out. One was a burley guy who looked close to Donghae’s age and the other looked like an angel, flawless-beautiful. It didn’t look like a fair fight to me.
I moved to break the two apart, the flawless one began to cry the minute I pulled him away, sobbing something like, “I can fix it, he’s going to pay, just let me fix it!” I shoved the burley guy back and turned towards the other.
“What happened?”
“I-I tried to help. I just needed to help him, but I think I made it worse!”
“I’ll say.”
He burst into tears, his whole face reflecting the grief that was emphasized in his voice.
“First tell me your name, and who are you saving?” I tried to talk a little reason into him.
“Me? I’m Leeteuk, or at least that’s what everyone calls me, and Kangin is in trouble. Or at least he is now…” Leeteuk burst into sobs again.
I looked around and found Hannie looking back at me. “Some birthday, huh?”
My sarcastic remark earned a heavier sob from Leeteuk. I sighed; it was going to be a long night.