RenIchi - Aftermath

Mar 01, 2009 00:32

Title: Aftermath.
Pairing: Renji/Ichigo (Renji POV).
Rating: PG. Mostly feelings and thoughts, not enough action.
Genre: Drama, romance.
Word Count: 2,654.
Summary: "We won, we're alive, she's safe. If I don't get to do what I want now, when the hell can I?"
Beta: The lovely cmc42.
A/N: An AU set after the Ichigo VS. Ulquiorra battle, when Renji finally gets around to "go get Ichigo".
I actually wrote it some time ago on a whim, after reading this gut-wrenching piece by babyluw.

Comments are love!

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

("Hands Open", Snow Patrol)

"How many of them are there?!" Renji yelled, though he could barely hear his own voice over the general noise of battles around him. It was fairly idiotic in the first place, picking a fight with hollows in Hueco Mundo, but Renji kept on fighting, running on adrenaline if nothing else.

Renji's eyes widened at the enormous explosion of reiatsu he could feel, and he nearly lost his balance as the ground shook beneath his feet. It changed things completely. Now the primary goal had to be finishing here and going inside the depths of Las Noches. When the echoes of the explosion subsided, Renji almost tripped again when he tried and failed to sense something other than a resounding nothing from Ichigo.

Hearing Rukia shout “Done!” from a distance, Renji turned around to see the hollows she had been fighting vanish. She was visibly shaking from the shocks of the intense battle that had been held not that far away from there, but in its wake, the situation just became much more frightening to him.

Renji ran. His heart was pounding, his entire body aching, his blood pumping in his ears, but he still ran, driven by something entirely different than rage or adrenaline or hate. Hell, even he didn't know what it was, but he refused to believe it was concern.

All this time he was worried about Rukia, and about himself, and about his comrades, but never about Ichigo. He never once thought Ichigo would fail, never considered the possibility of him being hit and actually staying down. But the explosion… All the bursts of reiatsu up until that point were so massive they were affecting even Renji, but the last one was hostile, painful, final.

Now there was deafening silence, a numbness creeping over Renji. He never imagined that the possibility of Ichigo's… end would hit him this badly, would make it hurt in unexpected places. He liked to think it didn't, but it did. He ran. He couldn't breathe.

Fifteen minutes or hours later, they got in. Renji was no stranger to blood, nor to rubble - he had it on good authority (salary cuts) that he was to blame for at least a third of the damage in Soul Society during the ryoka invasion - so he just focused on reaching him. Them. All three.

"Rukia, go find Inoue, make sure she's well, I'll find the idiot." It was easier to boss someone else around than to wonder what he was going to find under all this destruction. You can always count on Ichigo to stride in and knock down at least a dozen or two of your establishments.

"I can handle finding him injured or… whatever, you know," Rukia argued.

Renji was confused at first and then realized what she thought was going on. She was sure he was trying to protect her. "That's not why - just go with Sado, we're wastin' time."

He didn't wait for her reply, instead just continuing his way into the depths of the room. Pillars were collapsed on the floor, and Renji was quite sure he found something that used to be furniture. He could feel he was getting closer, somehow. Just a little bit further.

Renji spotted black fabric in the distance; a shihakusho in contrast of pasty marble everywhere else. Like a drop of blood sliding over pale skin. He started running again, and then his vision focused painfully when he made out Ichigo's form. It was barely recognizable under layers of soot, stone and blood. His sword was nowhere to be found.

Renji crouched down next to his still form. Ichigo's eyes were closed, his entire body torn apart and bloody. He didn't respond when Renji started to clear off some of the mess on him. For a moment Renji felt so lost, and he had no idea what he was supposed to do if Ichigo really died.

Shaking his head slightly, Renji shut out all thoughts. He had no way of performing the little he knew about healing techniques - his brain could barely process moving his limbs, so he simply grabbed Ichigo by the shoulders and shook.

"Come on, you fucking idiot. You saved the girl, you can't die now. You can't leave." Renji leaned down as far as he could without actually touching Ichigo, and then felt breath, nearly undetectable, but certainly there, crashing over Renji's face. He was alive.

Renji forced Ichigo's mouth open and shook again, and apparently he'd done something right since Ichigo snapped his eyes open and breathed in so deep it sounded like he was going to choke.

And then his eyes locked on Renji's, and he smiled. Like a child. Like Renji's never seen him do before. Like nothing ever happened, like he didn't just scare Renji shitless. Renji punched him. He wasn't sure why but he didn't exactly regret it either, even though he was sure his knuckles hurt more than Ichigo's jaw right now. It was the only excuse he had to touch him.

He expected shouting, or cursing, but Ichigo just grabbed his uniform by the collar. Renji squinted and waited for a fist to hit his face, but when one didn't come he just stared at Ichigo staring at him. The hands clutched at his shihakusho like it was the only thing keeping Ichigo alive, and Renji didn't know how to act. He might have been sure about everything he was doing and how he should be doing it, but when it came to Ichigo, he was at a complete loss.

"You're…" Ichigo's voice was almost as bruised as his body. "God, we're alive. I won. We won. Inoue…" Renji felt a dull pain somewhere inside of him when Ichigo said that. Probably just the cuts.

"She's okay, she's with Rukia and Sado."

Ichigo looked to his left, tilting his head. "And they're all the way over there?"

Renji nodded gravely. "Yeah, I'll go get her." He started standing up but then Ichigo tightened his grip on his shihakusho and pulled him down, where he died. Or was kissed. By Ichigo Kurosaki. Felt like the same thing.

It was brief, and tasted of blood and even less desirable stuff, but that was the very essence of Ichigo, and that was enough to send shivers down Renji's spine. This couldn't have been happening. He withdrew half-heartedly and stared down, utterly confused. "What… What was that for?"

"We won, we're alive, she's safe. If I don't get to do what I want now, when the hell can I?" Ichigo's voice was sounding a lot better now, the bastard.

Renji gulped, trying to get rid of the stirring feelings down his stomach. "But I thought -"

"Guys!"

Hurried footsteps heading in their way interrupted them, and it felt like various parts of Renji's body were being stomped. He grimaced and straightened himself, taking about ten steps back.

Rukia appeared from behind a broken pillar, looking every bit as torn up as Renji felt. "Ichigo, oh, thank God." She looked overcome with relief for a moment, and then became serious again. "Guys, the Captains made contact. We gotta run."

Exchanging glances with Ichigo, Renji tried to pull his thoughts together. He was more confused than he could ever remember being before, not to mention that his emotional capacity was pretty much full. He wished his skin would stop tingling; at his age, it wasn't supposed to that just because of a mere kiss.

He didn't even know it was exactly what he wanted to happen, and then it did, and it was like everything clicked together in Renji's brain - only not at all. He reached out his hand and helped Ichigo up without looking him in the eyes. It was so utterly obvious Ichigo would distract him completely right before a war.

*

Regrouping with everyone was exhausting. Just getting all of them in one place took enough time as it was, and then healing the warriors, catching up. Renji tried to appear interested, though he couldn't stop himself from glancing over at Ichigo every once in a while.

It would have been a lie to say that he'd never thought about Ichigo that way, and Renji was never one for denial. Mostly. It wasn't love, that much he did know. It was this burning stir deep inside him whenever his eyes met with Ichigo's, these unknown emotions that were probably there even before he and Ichigo became allies, united against Aizen Sousuke that first time. And after that…

When Renji watched Ichigo get crushed in the execution grounds, just like that, it wasn't just the thought this was impossible, and it wasn't just the fear that his side, those few people Renji genuinely believed were right, now lost because their strongest champion perished.

It was that Ichigo, the brat that's gotten under Renji's skin incredibly fast and efficient, that beat him, that beat Kuchiki Byakuya (and he should hate him for that, he should hate everything about him, but he couldn't), just died.

Then everything went black, and when Renji came to he could only sigh in what he now knew was relief and laugh at Ichigo's never-failing survival skills - not to mention the skill to annoy him and turn him on at the same time.

He wondered if that was what was happening now. He looked up and scanned his surroundings. The Captains and Vice Captains were all huddled together where a gate was to lead them to the rest of the Gotei 13, and Rukia, Ishida, Sado, Inoue and Yamada Hanataro sat on the ground and chatted. Ichigo, much like himself, was leaning on one of the walls that hadn't collapsed, and as soon as Renji looked at him he realized Ichigo has been staring at him right in the eyes.

Feeling that tightening in his throat once more, Renji felt the need to brush his fingers over his lips; as though that would make the kiss from earlier more real. As Ichigo gestured subtly to his left with his head, Renji nodded, despite feeling weak in the knees. Inwardly kicking himself, he straightened up, and walked casually away from everyone else's view; he knew Ichigo would be close behind.

He stopped and turned around swiftly, jabbing his finger in Ichigo's general direction. He opened his mouth in order to rant or demand an explanation or maybe stay frozen for a few minutes, only Ichigo acted before he could do any of those things by placing Renji's hand in his own and uttering the words; “Shut up.”

Renji narrowed his eyes, snatching his hand away irritably. "You shut up. And tell me what happened back there."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. The fact that a substantial amount of his clothes were missing didn't escape Renji's mind. Damn it. "You can't tell me I've got it wrong."

"No, but I think I have," Renji replied. "I mean, I was so sure… Everything you've done fer her -"

"Wouldn't you do the same for Rukia?" Ichigo asked, and Renji nodded instantly.

"Of course I would, she's like my - Oh." Oh.

"But who'd you call if you needed help?"

"Well..." You.

"See, this is why you shouldn't think," Ichigo deducted; it was like nothing had changed. Renji still had trouble wrapping his head around all of this. It was completely uncharted territory. "Why did you come? And don't tell me Rukia made you or some other bullshit."

Renji cleared his throat. "Well, she did make me. And because I know you well enough to assume that when a girl needs a hero you're thick enough to run off and be that, and that you needed help." And I didn't want you to sweep her off her feet without me having a say in the matter. Not that he had a say anyway. But if he was going to get hurt, he might as well be in the room. He didn't even stop to think that maybe he wasn't going to get hurt or denied or even punched in the face.

"You're the strongest one I've got." Ichigo kept his eyes fixed on Renji's, kept his chin up. Even though Ichigo would never be caught unguarded Renji knew how to read him better than most, and God, he looked exhausted. His face were smudged with blood and dirt and Renji had to resist the urge to wipe it clean - and the second he felt that urge, well, he knew he was hopeless.

"I've known. For a while now," Ichigo added, still gazing deep in Renji's eyes, as if he was trying to convey that he meant what he'd said. There was that spark, that conviction that always shown in his eyes right before battles, and it made Renji's skin prickle. Every time.

"Known what?" He asked, and he knew Ichigo couldn't blame him for needing it to be spelt out.

"That there was something there… When we were alone and you looked at me I felt…" He sighed, but didn't look away. "I don't know. I denied it, figured I shouldn't, but now… I mean, now, who the fuck cares about reasoning? You never had anything to do with reason, crashing into my life like you own the goddamn place. That was never part of any plan, but here we are - and we did it." His eyes were positively glinting now, and Renji shook his head.

"It's not over yet. There's a war out there, remember?" Renji couldn't allow himself to do this, not now. Every part of his being was screaming at him to stay right there and kiss Ichigo senseless, but he couldn't.

"I know," Ichigo muttered, a familiar worry creeping over his features and making Renji cringe.

"They're all gettin' ready, but I think we'll be stuck here for a while. I've no idea what the Gotei's gonna do without four Captains and one annoying ryoka that keeps saving their asses."

Ichigo snickered. "Never mind that, what the hell are we gonna do stuck in Hueco Mundo with no enemies?"

Ichigo's amber eyes pierced his own now and Renji felt a jolt straight to his stomach, and then to all the wrong places. Now everything was clicking together in his brain. He figured this was profound, that he should take some time to mull things over, but facing a war made things seem more urgent, and simple. He needed this, and he needed this now - two months and one incredibly-near-death experience too late.

"Well, I think we can come up with something."

"Really?" Ichigo asked with a smirk, inching closer.

Renji reached his hand out to cup Ichigo's chin and pulled him over the rest of the way, his lips hovering an inch away from Ichigo's. "Actually…"

Their lips had barely brushed together when a wave of spirit energy that emanated from their comrades forced them to pull apart. Renji narrowed his eyes and groaned in frustration. The gate was forming. Soon someone would come to call for them, so they'd better not be in a compromising position.

He drew back begrudgingly, though couldn't stop himself from licking his lips. Maybe that was why he's come here in the first place, really. "Rain check?" He asked.

"If you die before that, I'll kill you," Ichigo threatened. "And you know I can."

Renji snorted. "Keep dreaming, Kurosaki." He thumped Ichigo's shoulder as he brushed passed him on his way to join everyone again. Maybe it was that simple. Maybe they would both make it out of this alive and then everything would fall into place, in their own twisted way. "Ready?"

Ichigo smiled again. "Hell yeah."

END


pairing: renji/ichigo

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