113.5 lbs

[spilling_out]

I kind of feel terrible but I creeped an old crush on FB and he REALLY let himself go. (Ok, maybe it's not that bad and my distored perception of bodies might play into it but HELLO beer gut.) Part of me is like HA, but the other part is sad because he was such a fine man and now :( it's just sad really. Reminder to never let myself go like that

Comments

[cottonshrinks]

After my ex and I broke up we both lost weight and looked a lot better, haha.

Sometimes my current boyfriend jokes about fat people and I feel awkward inside because of my "ed" (i say that in quotes because... well i was never diagnosed and the worst part of it just seems so long ago it's almost unreal to me now). Whenever i eat out with friends and if i go all out, everyone is always surprised how i can out eat the boys. dude, you haven't even seen a binge, seriously. Anyways I'm not letting myself go now, but sometimes it's so hard not to indulge. :(

[cottonshrinks]

also we are always nearly the same in weight. i was 112.6 this morning.

[spilling_out]

interesting. sometimes i fluctuate a lot though tbh i think most of the time it's just water weight or related to how fast my digestive tract managed to process stuff. my mind just can't process weighing in at 118 and then two days later drop down to 113. 5 lbs of "fluctuation" just is weird to me and I'm always paranoid that the weight will be hard to take off again as if it was real weight and not just a temporary fluctuation.

[cottonshrinks]

That is a lotttt of fluctuation. I used to be like that in the worst of it, and I always questioned how accurate my scale actually was. But now I stay within about a +/- 2 lbs range.