From Ends to Ends
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Heechul/Kibum, Heechul/?
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It's been clear from the beginning.
Word count: 577
A/N: KiChul angst! I don't specify who Heechul was with, you can decide that on your own. It's like Choose Your Own Adventure! Theme #27 from the 100 Fics Challenge, Replacement. Archive of mine.
from ends to ends
It's been clear this whole time, from the beginning.
And Kibum knows the last thing this is going to do is last.
He stops trying to make reasons out of his hyung because Heechul hardly ever stays the same, there's no constant variable, Heechul doesn't need reasons for anything anymore. He could say because I'm trying not to love but life is fair to Kibum for once, and life doesn't let Heechul utter those words.
It's because I'm ending what I had with him.
Kibum's fully aware of the past, because the past clings to Heechul's ankles and won't let go, hooks onto Heechul's heart and hurts him when he tries to move too far.
Heechul sees life as it could be for himself, every day. He sees it and feels his throat clench like he's squeezing, and the air comes out with difficulty, only after Kibum's hand cups his elbow and suddenly he thinks Kibum is definitely his favorite dongsaeng-for taking him away from what could have been.
Every single day, the false future unfolds deceivingly in front of him, and Kibum is an outlet for much needed escapism. Heechul takes comfort in that, along with Kibum's soft hair, his strong lips.
Kibum notices that Heechul likes to prop himself up against the wall and just sit there. Most of the time, his hair is still damp from the bath he's just taken. The bath where he made Kibum sit on the floor next to him so they could talk.
They usually don't talk, though. They've tried, but the last time Kibum opened his mouth-and that doesn't happen very often, unless it's spewing lines from a script-Heechul burst into tears. It used to be their routine, and Kibum as a substitute would only dig the nails deeper into his hyung's pain.
But Heechul doesn't let him leave, whenever it happens. Through wet eyes, an equally wet hand slides against Kibum's wrist, a gaze that says leave me here and I'll kill you. So Kibum stays, listens to sniffles and swishing limbs in bathwater bounce off the walls. Everything echoes, even Kibum's pulse.
The restaurant smells funny, strong, the scent weighs on both their noses but the alcohol is what glues them to their seats. Not because it has a particularly good taste, but because they're just in need.
Heechul's downing his second beer, his newly cut and colored hair still hangs in his face, albeit not as bad as before. Because Kibum can almost see Heechul's eyes, but his eyelids are half in the way. He follows the curve of those eyelashes, tries to see what's beneath them, what Heechul could be thinking.
All this time together starts to come down from whatever it was. Nothing special, perhaps. Kibum is still a favorite dongsaeng, but he's right along the same level as Donghae, and Siwon. Eunhyuk, too. The replacement part of his title, the part that was never written with the rest of that ever present and absent Kim Kibum.
He knows it's ended, it's changed, when Heechul grabs his face with both hands, but doesn't kiss him.
"I think we need to be done."
Kibum doesn't smile-doesn't do what the fans know him well for, and always remember him for. It's probably not the alcohol, like Kibum wants to believe.
"That's it," Heechul breathes.
There's a twist in Kibum's stomach, and it winds up to his chest until it's taken over his heart. And he does what the fans know him well for, what they always remember him by.
//…
I think there needs to be more KiChul in this fandom.
Oh, and I'm on my spring break :D more time to write(/study)!
Kibum, stop being Super Junior's imaginary friend - come back here, you >:|
Pairing: Heechul/Kibum, Heechul/?
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It's been clear from the beginning.
Word count: 577
A/N: KiChul angst! I don't specify who Heechul was with, you can decide that on your own. It's like Choose Your Own Adventure! Theme #27 from the 100 Fics Challenge, Replacement. Archive of mine.
from ends to ends
It's been clear this whole time, from the beginning.
And Kibum knows the last thing this is going to do is last.
He stops trying to make reasons out of his hyung because Heechul hardly ever stays the same, there's no constant variable, Heechul doesn't need reasons for anything anymore. He could say because I'm trying not to love but life is fair to Kibum for once, and life doesn't let Heechul utter those words.
It's because I'm ending what I had with him.
Kibum's fully aware of the past, because the past clings to Heechul's ankles and won't let go, hooks onto Heechul's heart and hurts him when he tries to move too far.
Heechul sees life as it could be for himself, every day. He sees it and feels his throat clench like he's squeezing, and the air comes out with difficulty, only after Kibum's hand cups his elbow and suddenly he thinks Kibum is definitely his favorite dongsaeng-for taking him away from what could have been.
Every single day, the false future unfolds deceivingly in front of him, and Kibum is an outlet for much needed escapism. Heechul takes comfort in that, along with Kibum's soft hair, his strong lips.
Kibum notices that Heechul likes to prop himself up against the wall and just sit there. Most of the time, his hair is still damp from the bath he's just taken. The bath where he made Kibum sit on the floor next to him so they could talk.
They usually don't talk, though. They've tried, but the last time Kibum opened his mouth-and that doesn't happen very often, unless it's spewing lines from a script-Heechul burst into tears. It used to be their routine, and Kibum as a substitute would only dig the nails deeper into his hyung's pain.
But Heechul doesn't let him leave, whenever it happens. Through wet eyes, an equally wet hand slides against Kibum's wrist, a gaze that says leave me here and I'll kill you. So Kibum stays, listens to sniffles and swishing limbs in bathwater bounce off the walls. Everything echoes, even Kibum's pulse.
The restaurant smells funny, strong, the scent weighs on both their noses but the alcohol is what glues them to their seats. Not because it has a particularly good taste, but because they're just in need.
Heechul's downing his second beer, his newly cut and colored hair still hangs in his face, albeit not as bad as before. Because Kibum can almost see Heechul's eyes, but his eyelids are half in the way. He follows the curve of those eyelashes, tries to see what's beneath them, what Heechul could be thinking.
All this time together starts to come down from whatever it was. Nothing special, perhaps. Kibum is still a favorite dongsaeng, but he's right along the same level as Donghae, and Siwon. Eunhyuk, too. The replacement part of his title, the part that was never written with the rest of that ever present and absent Kim Kibum.
He knows it's ended, it's changed, when Heechul grabs his face with both hands, but doesn't kiss him.
"I think we need to be done."
Kibum doesn't smile-doesn't do what the fans know him well for, and always remember him for. It's probably not the alcohol, like Kibum wants to believe.
"That's it," Heechul breathes.
There's a twist in Kibum's stomach, and it winds up to his chest until it's taken over his heart. And he does what the fans know him well for, what they always remember him by.
//…
I think there needs to be more KiChul in this fandom.
Oh, and I'm on my spring break :D more time to write(/study)!
Kibum, stop being Super Junior's imaginary friend - come back here, you >:|