Misery Erotica
You probably heard, but my computer met with an unfortunate end recently. And Apple has been unhelpful. So I still have no computer, but have stolen my roommate's. Thank God for roommates...
Anyway, I wanted to share an Army story I heard the other day. It may or may not be true, it's kind of one of those legend things, but here goes...
First, some background. The biggest, best thing you can be in the Army is an Airborne Ranger, and in order to achieve this you must go to Ranger School. Ranger School is three weeks of food and sleep deprivation coupled with unholy amounts of physical activity. It's meant to test your leadership abilities under extreme duress. Your performance is graded by your peers and instructors, and instructors can give out points if you do something really well (this is important for the story). Chicks can't go. It's very elite. And by all reports, it's one of the shittiest things you can make yourself do. Unless you want to lose 30-40 pounds in 3 weeks...
So anyway, it's Jungle Phase of Ranger School(the last one, where you live in the swamp and do your crazy difficult Army stuff there), and the Ranger Instructor is going around one night to check on those pulling guard duty. It's raining and freezing cold. As he approaches one of the guards, he notices that the guard has his poncho completely over his head and the huddled mass is kind of moving back and forth a little. So he yanks the poncho off, and the soldier is sitting there masturbating. Clearly, guarding is not occurring. So it's bad.
Thinking quickly, the soldier looks up at the Ranger Instructor and yells "Instructor, I fucking LOVE this shit!!"
The instructor pauses. Then he throws the poncho back over the soldier. "Ten points" he says, and walks away.
So yeah. I'm going to give the computer back now, though. I miss Christian, but him breaking was almost for the best. Since I can't spend all my time on the internets, I've started reading all the time and working out compulsively. I haven't felt this healthy in a long time.
Anyway, I wanted to share an Army story I heard the other day. It may or may not be true, it's kind of one of those legend things, but here goes...
First, some background. The biggest, best thing you can be in the Army is an Airborne Ranger, and in order to achieve this you must go to Ranger School. Ranger School is three weeks of food and sleep deprivation coupled with unholy amounts of physical activity. It's meant to test your leadership abilities under extreme duress. Your performance is graded by your peers and instructors, and instructors can give out points if you do something really well (this is important for the story). Chicks can't go. It's very elite. And by all reports, it's one of the shittiest things you can make yourself do. Unless you want to lose 30-40 pounds in 3 weeks...
So anyway, it's Jungle Phase of Ranger School(the last one, where you live in the swamp and do your crazy difficult Army stuff there), and the Ranger Instructor is going around one night to check on those pulling guard duty. It's raining and freezing cold. As he approaches one of the guards, he notices that the guard has his poncho completely over his head and the huddled mass is kind of moving back and forth a little. So he yanks the poncho off, and the soldier is sitting there masturbating. Clearly, guarding is not occurring. So it's bad.
Thinking quickly, the soldier looks up at the Ranger Instructor and yells "Instructor, I fucking LOVE this shit!!"
The instructor pauses. Then he throws the poncho back over the soldier. "Ten points" he says, and walks away.
So yeah. I'm going to give the computer back now, though. I miss Christian, but him breaking was almost for the best. Since I can't spend all my time on the internets, I've started reading all the time and working out compulsively. I haven't felt this healthy in a long time.