A year ago

[spinninghead]

Wow. Just read this entry again. It's from a year ago. A *year* ago. We should have broken up then. But no, neither of us were ready to let go yet. *sigh* I really wish I'd been ready. It all seems so clear to me when I look at this. And justaqt's comment especially rings true. He did care to do small things for me sometimes, but it was

Comments

[purplesquirrel]

Hindsight is remarkable, isn't it? I think that when we're in a relationship, we try to keep looking at its positive aspects to keep it going. Plus we've naturally averse to ending something on which we've invested so much time and energy (unless you're a hardcore economist.)

[elsh]

I can't see the entry you link to. Anyway, seriously don't think about age. It's never too late to meet someone, and if you're enjoying your life (which you should learn how to do by yourself), there's no loss in meeting your mate later on. I can't stress that enough. I'm nearly 32 and don't think I've found my perfect match yet, and I have so much work to do on myself (and I have to figure everything out with Damian and our debts, etc), that who knows how long it will take? But who really cares? You need to be okay with being single and things taking time. (And, you are by no stretch of the imagination old, but falling in love old is fine, too.) ♥

[spinninghead]

I know that falling in love old is fine and all, but what if I want to have kids? The problem is, I have maybe 10 years of my life left, if that, during which I can have kids. Beyond that, I'll be infertile. Being with the right person is important, but it sucks if it can't happen early enough for me to have kids with that person.

[triphicus]

Please, Rose, don't start looking at it that way. It will only lead to baggage--which you definitely dont want. I know that you feel like 28 is way too old right now, but actually you are in a great position. Because you are old enough and wise enough to really have started to understand what you want/need out of a relationship, and you are having the life experiences that are going to make you feel fulfilled enough to finally sacrifice that independence for your children happily and willingly. It sometimes works when people get married young, and it is beautiful when it does. But it usually doesn't. So, really, I know that it hurts now, and that you really really really wanted it to work. And now you are scared of having to start all over again, and you want it to happen ASAP. But give yourself some time, because you have it. Imagine being 28 years old and in a horrible marriage and having to strugge with the idea of divorce, or face the reality of living with a mistake and the two kids that resulted from it for the rest of your life

[spinninghead]

I know this is probably going to sound bad, but at least the women who marry young, have kids, and then get divorced get to have kids. I don't know if I'll ever get to have kids, because I'm waiting around to find that right person, and it might happen too late for me to have kids. That's the suckiest part.

[bojojoti]

I keep seeing young women around me get scared that they won't have another chance or better offer, and they marry someone so totally unmeshable with their lives. They stay in a bad marriage, because they try to make it work. Then they have children, and they stay for the children's sake. But, in a few years, it's too painful to stay any longer.

You are still young--you are! And you are free to travel where you want, stay where you wish, and decide the next few years of your life. Enjoy where you are every step of the way.

[spinninghead]

I'm not *that* young. I have maybe 10 years, if that, ahead of me during which I can have kids. If I meet the right person too late, we'll never be able to have kids together unless we adopt. And I would like to carry my own children someday. But 10 years is not that long of a time in which to find a husband and to have kids.