04 - London Calling.
Ok, well, so I up and went for a jolly 'ol trip to get a spot of London, see....
Lond looks like pidgins. ... Generally.
To get to london, the best thing to do is buy an oyster card and get your rocks off and onto the picidilly train and go half way to Cockfosters.
I slipped taking this photo and nearly broke a guys arm... he looked tough too.
You will know you have arrived safely in london when you see these SixT trucks. They are apparently quite famous in London, lots of people were taking photos of this one. I was a bit pissed cause that jogger got in the bloody way of this perfect shot.
Speaking of Joggers... I would like to point out that everywhere I go there is a feaking marathon!. There was one when I was last in Sweden and another when I was in Japan! I think there is something in it
So anyway, I went to London to catch up with Luisa, doing her Europe trip thang with her BF, and to drink beers in English pubs.
Luisa - check
Beer - WTF! grandma glass!... what an outrage. No wonder they all fly to (the REAL) Europe to party.
This here beer may or may not have lead to Lu' getting shockingly ill two days later. *fist shaking towards bad beer pullers of England everywhere *
Someone is likely to retort that all the Bar staff in London are Aussies.... well shut up, I thought of that one already you unoriginal kannigit.
Anyway, that photo was taken in this area where all the pommy-goths go.
You can even get the goth-Di on a tea-plate form the local enormous-spikey-boots-and-leathers store.
this costs 5 quids, which is based closely on the Latvian LATs, see previous posts.
If you took a rack of these to a Greek wedding, you would destroy enough resources that could be better spent ending world poverty.
Things are expensive in London, especially Accommodation. Fortunately I found a spare kidney to expense my trip. Other solutions have seen the English adopt technology from other cultures.
Seen here is the English version of the Japanese “cheap accommodation solution” - the capsule hotel.
Those people may look excited. But they are just starting. They are going to be stuck in this little bubble for hours.
I didn't want a bar of it.
"Not far" from this (LIES!) was the tate modern art Gallery, a nice away in the 20 mins that it didn't rain while I was there. It was also great to spend the time catching up with Susie who's over here studying.
The main exhibit was a giant meter deep crack in the ground.
The plaque says it represents racism. I'm like, no way, it is totally a feminist statement.
None the less, the exhibit is closing and the crack is being filled back in with concrete.
Also on the waterfront (aka “on the way there”), this is "beach" side street performance. - Very cool indeed
Ok, time for a break in continuity.
One cannot have a trip to London without looking a tard in a phone box.
This is Richie who is also on a expenses paid junket trip.
Back in the day we were in the with worlds crappiest metal band no name and no gigs.
(as opposed to all thoes crappy metal bands with a name and gigs)
So anyway, it was great to catchup with him and get to to various shanaigns, like asking this preacher where Soho is.
He diddnt actually know... and it was only a block away. We could walk through leicester square.
ok ok ok, now some sights, starting with the famous docking barges of the Thames river.
London bridge. This was like a major disappointment. I thought it was that other famous bridge (not featuring in this post), but no, its like a block of concrete. I don't quite get why its so crappy. The built it like 4 times. Maybe thats why. No point investing
yet! Millennium bridge... you invested in THIS flimsy thing?
Portabelo road, snotting hill, and well long queue of tards who need to have their photo taken with a street sign.
Well it was quite nice.
Brick lane. The ghetto equivalent or portabello.
No queue of tards for photo opps here. Theres a cool little market in this area... if you survive, please come again.
Apparently this is where the best Indian food in London is. You know because they tell you. Its perfectly acceptable here for half the shops to have the same sign that says “chef of the year” or “winner of some competition”, To me it was still average - good. But there might be a trick to this street I havnt discovered.
Oh, and they don't give you the kind of discount they said they would. its not 20% off, its 10% service charge on top you didn't see. My favorite quite here was
me: “and I assume that the rice is still to come for my curry”
waiter: “YOU didn't order RICE!”
me: “um, ye..”
waiter: “you DIDn't order”...
*awkward pause *
waiter: “but we are here to server you, of course”
...
I never saw the rice.
Also in the area...
mmmm.... erotic cakes.
it was closed though since Sunday is church day.
and most awesome building ever!
And this is nearby too.. im sure its famous for a lot of reasons, the most recent of which is that its featured in the first film if the Jimmy Fetta series - “Jimmy Fetta and the Mystical Cherry Picker”. Where Jimmy goes the the picker shop and finds that his picker is bigger and more powerful than everyone elses. Who would have thought?
As can be seen here, the picker has been left on set for historical reasons.
moving on. more random London sights.
Keep your arms and legs clear of the doors
and you head
and you ass...
fukit, just keep everything clear of the damn door asshole.
And dont strain yourself
This sign is really a government development to make people think more through sub-conscious philosophy. People can be found wandering through the London subway tunnels mumbling,
“How much is 175 stairs anyway? Is that a lot? I can see about 20 stairs, it would take me about 7.5 seconds to go up those stairs, but then I would have to do that how many times? then there would be a factor that converges the speed of escalation towards velocity = 0.
Now the elevator comes every 5 minutes and takes 3 minutes between getting in and getting out...
Why is in an emergency? what if I fell? how long would it take to get a stretcher, if I fell near the bottom, would they go down the elevator first...?”
And so it goes.
This one speaks for itself.
Seriously... you have got to be joking.
* One of these things is not like the other things *
and Soho by night
No comment, just a meaningless travel photo.
Next stop, Crazy drunken boat cruise to Tallim.
Next post... not sure, there is good Stockholm news too, if I get time to put it together.
Oh yeah! and I bought this in the markets in London, near brick lane... there are two market, btw.
Take it slowwww.
Dave
Lond looks like pidgins. ... Generally.
To get to london, the best thing to do is buy an oyster card and get your rocks off and onto the picidilly train and go half way to Cockfosters.
I slipped taking this photo and nearly broke a guys arm... he looked tough too.
You will know you have arrived safely in london when you see these SixT trucks. They are apparently quite famous in London, lots of people were taking photos of this one. I was a bit pissed cause that jogger got in the bloody way of this perfect shot.
Speaking of Joggers... I would like to point out that everywhere I go there is a feaking marathon!. There was one when I was last in Sweden and another when I was in Japan! I think there is something in it
So anyway, I went to London to catch up with Luisa, doing her Europe trip thang with her BF, and to drink beers in English pubs.
Luisa - check
Beer - WTF! grandma glass!... what an outrage. No wonder they all fly to (the REAL) Europe to party.
This here beer may or may not have lead to Lu' getting shockingly ill two days later. *fist shaking towards bad beer pullers of England everywhere *
Someone is likely to retort that all the Bar staff in London are Aussies.... well shut up, I thought of that one already you unoriginal kannigit.
Anyway, that photo was taken in this area where all the pommy-goths go.
You can even get the goth-Di on a tea-plate form the local enormous-spikey-boots-and-leathers store.
this costs 5 quids, which is based closely on the Latvian LATs, see previous posts.
If you took a rack of these to a Greek wedding, you would destroy enough resources that could be better spent ending world poverty.
Things are expensive in London, especially Accommodation. Fortunately I found a spare kidney to expense my trip. Other solutions have seen the English adopt technology from other cultures.
Seen here is the English version of the Japanese “cheap accommodation solution” - the capsule hotel.
Those people may look excited. But they are just starting. They are going to be stuck in this little bubble for hours.
I didn't want a bar of it.
"Not far" from this (LIES!) was the tate modern art Gallery, a nice away in the 20 mins that it didn't rain while I was there. It was also great to spend the time catching up with Susie who's over here studying.
The main exhibit was a giant meter deep crack in the ground.
The plaque says it represents racism. I'm like, no way, it is totally a feminist statement.
None the less, the exhibit is closing and the crack is being filled back in with concrete.
Also on the waterfront (aka “on the way there”), this is "beach" side street performance. - Very cool indeed
Ok, time for a break in continuity.
One cannot have a trip to London without looking a tard in a phone box.
This is Richie who is also on a expenses paid junket trip.
Back in the day we were in the with worlds crappiest metal band no name and no gigs.
(as opposed to all thoes crappy metal bands with a name and gigs)
So anyway, it was great to catchup with him and get to to various shanaigns, like asking this preacher where Soho is.
He diddnt actually know... and it was only a block away. We could walk through leicester square.
ok ok ok, now some sights, starting with the famous docking barges of the Thames river.
London bridge. This was like a major disappointment. I thought it was that other famous bridge (not featuring in this post), but no, its like a block of concrete. I don't quite get why its so crappy. The built it like 4 times. Maybe thats why. No point investing
yet! Millennium bridge... you invested in THIS flimsy thing?
Portabelo road, snotting hill, and well long queue of tards who need to have their photo taken with a street sign.
Well it was quite nice.
Brick lane. The ghetto equivalent or portabello.
No queue of tards for photo opps here. Theres a cool little market in this area... if you survive, please come again.
Apparently this is where the best Indian food in London is. You know because they tell you. Its perfectly acceptable here for half the shops to have the same sign that says “chef of the year” or “winner of some competition”, To me it was still average - good. But there might be a trick to this street I havnt discovered.
Oh, and they don't give you the kind of discount they said they would. its not 20% off, its 10% service charge on top you didn't see. My favorite quite here was
me: “and I assume that the rice is still to come for my curry”
waiter: “YOU didn't order RICE!”
me: “um, ye..”
waiter: “you DIDn't order”...
*awkward pause *
waiter: “but we are here to server you, of course”
...
I never saw the rice.
Also in the area...
mmmm.... erotic cakes.
it was closed though since Sunday is church day.
and most awesome building ever!
And this is nearby too.. im sure its famous for a lot of reasons, the most recent of which is that its featured in the first film if the Jimmy Fetta series - “Jimmy Fetta and the Mystical Cherry Picker”. Where Jimmy goes the the picker shop and finds that his picker is bigger and more powerful than everyone elses. Who would have thought?
As can be seen here, the picker has been left on set for historical reasons.
moving on. more random London sights.
Keep your arms and legs clear of the doors
and you head
and you ass...
fukit, just keep everything clear of the damn door asshole.
And dont strain yourself
This sign is really a government development to make people think more through sub-conscious philosophy. People can be found wandering through the London subway tunnels mumbling,
“How much is 175 stairs anyway? Is that a lot? I can see about 20 stairs, it would take me about 7.5 seconds to go up those stairs, but then I would have to do that how many times? then there would be a factor that converges the speed of escalation towards velocity = 0.
Now the elevator comes every 5 minutes and takes 3 minutes between getting in and getting out...
Why is in an emergency? what if I fell? how long would it take to get a stretcher, if I fell near the bottom, would they go down the elevator first...?”
And so it goes.
This one speaks for itself.
Seriously... you have got to be joking.
* One of these things is not like the other things *
and Soho by night
No comment, just a meaningless travel photo.
Next stop, Crazy drunken boat cruise to Tallim.
Next post... not sure, there is good Stockholm news too, if I get time to put it together.
Oh yeah! and I bought this in the markets in London, near brick lane... there are two market, btw.
Take it slowwww.
Dave