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I decided to take a good old fashioned sickie this morning, as you do. Called Troy at work, croaked and moaned and stammered some theatrical spiel about being bed-ridden all weekend, feeling like dogshit, and doubting I could get out of bed, let alone to work. He bought it, or at least gave the impression he did, and that was that.
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Drink a small (300 mL) container of milk on the way to work, finishing it about 2 minutes before your arrival. Buy a bottle of orange juice, and let your co-workers see you drinking from it as you settle in for a hard day's slog. Within minutes you will be violently ill as the juice curdles the milk in your stomach, with vomit to prove it, and be sent home. About 10 minutes later, you'll feel fine as though nothing as happened and be free to enjoy the day in front of the TV under a nice blanket.
Works EVERY time.
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