Hayato/Ryu: do you know you touch my heart, PG-13
Title: do you know you touch my heart
Pairing: Hayato/Ryu
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some sexual themes.
For: spurnd. Ilu darling. <3 Yes, I've finished a fic for you at last! I hope you like it. ♥
Word Count: 2,834
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Author's Notes: Un-beta'ed. I love this pairing. I am touched by their friendship. I spent a while looking up friendship quotes and felt compelled to write a HayaRyu fic. Because seriously, Hayato and Ryu are lucky to have each other as their best friends.
do you know you touch my heart
Ryu turns up at the door of Hayato’s apartment one December night. Hayato is lying on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV screen and slurping his cup noodles when that happens, the ring of the doorbell resonating through the small apartment. He isn’t expecting a visitor. It is nearly midnight and in four days it will be Christmas, and there isn’t anything interesting showing on TV apart from some horror movie that Hayato might have seen before.
It takes Hayato some effort to get up and drag himself over to the door. When he opens it, Ryu is standing outside with a black suitcase. Hayato hasn’t seen Ryu in months (but it feels like years), and he’s not ready for this. He’s not ready for Ryu, Ryu stepping into his apartment without a word, Ryu looking paler and thinner than he remembers, Ryu taking off his shoes and then settling down on the couch, eyes closed and lips pressed together in a tight line.
Hayato stares. He doesn’t know how to react, what to say. “Ryu,” he tries, tentatively; he hasn’t tasted the sound of that name for so long. Ryu doesn’t seem to have heard him. “Ryu,” he tries again, louder this time. Ryu opens his eyes and meets Hayato’s gaze, and Hayato thinks there is exhaustion and loneliness behind those dark brown eyes.
“I’m hungry, Hayato,” Ryu says suddenly. He glances at the cup noodles that Hayato’s nearly finished. Hayato scuttles into the kitchen immediately and takes a cup out of the cupboard where he keeps his gigantic stock of instant food. He peels back the lid and pours in boiling water and watches the white steam for several seconds before closing the lid again.
He takes the cup out along with a spare pair of plastic chopsticks and hands them over to Ryu. “Three minutes,” he reminds Ryu. Ryu doesn’t say anything. Hayato goes back to eating his own noodles. There are questions, too many questions, but it doesn’t feel right to ask any of them.
Ryu blinks at the TV screen. A girl is running down a corridor and screaming and everything is coloured an eerie black-blue, and there is a silvery shadow chasing after the girl. “You-- we’ve watched this before,” Ryu points out. “You were scared, back then.”
“I’m not scared anymore,” Hayato replies. The girl reaches a wall and keeps on screaming, fists hammering helplessly on the metal. Then all of a sudden she stops, eyes wide, and there is only blood, blood everywhere.
Ryu is eating now. The three minutes are over. “How have you been?” he asks after swallowing. Hayato finds it funny how Ryu is the first one to ask a question, and not him.
“Fine.” Hayato thinks he is probably lying, but that’s okay. They’ve always lied about things like this. “I’ve got a job at Kuma’s ramen shop. How about you?” He’s the one asking now, at last.
“It’s been half a year, hasn’t it?” Ryu is avoiding his question. Hayato frowns. There is one long, despairing wail from the TV.
“How did you know where to find me?” Hayato tries to ask another question.
“I just did,” Ryu replies, and it’s the most natural thing in the world. Ryu is smiling slightly now, and Hayato has a fleeting moment where he thinks Ryu has been here forever, living in this apartment with him, eating soggy instant noodles with him, smiling at him. Best friends, forever.
They never promised each other that. Never really claimed aloud to be the best of friends, never really said they’d stick to each other till the end. But Hayato had always thought it to be a tacit agreement, something that goes without saying.
The clock strikes midnight, and Hayato is reminded of the fact that there is half a year between them now, all those miles from Japan to Canada and back, and there is a dull pain in his chest. Hayato chews on the last of his noodles and quietly watches the rest of the horror movie unfold. Ryu finishes his noodles too, and Hayato takes both of their cups and goes to the kitchen and dumps the soup down the sink, throwing the empty cups into the rubbish bin.
When Hayato comes back out, the ending credits are rolling on the screen. A quarter past twelve. He presses a button on the remote control and the screen flickers into black. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, you can have my bed,” Hayato says. Ryu opens his mouth, as if to say something, but then he nods and takes his suitcase with him into the bedroom.
Hayato follows him in and grabs a blanket from the closet. “G’ night,” he says as he leaves the room. Ryu doesn’t respond. Hayato switches the lights off in the living room and curls up on the couch, draping the blanket over himself.
He doesn’t fall asleep until the lights are off in the bedroom as well.
---
Hayato wakes up, panting and cold and forehead matted with sweat. There is a silvery shadow and splashes of crimson in his dream. He feels dizzy and fear is suffocating him. The room is too dark, but as he recovers he notices a hand clutching his, reassuring, and his breathing slows and the fear dissolves.
“Ryu,” he murmurs. “Did I wake you up?”
“I didn’t sleep,” Ryu says softly. “Jet lag. The time difference-- it’s the afternoon in Canada right now.”
“Oh,” Hayato leans back into the couch. He feels silly, stupid. He should have known. He should have stayed up to keep company for Ryu. It must have been awful to be awake and alone and to have nothing to do for hours. “Oh.”
“I thought you said you weren’t scared anymore,” Ryu says, teasing, smiling. Hayato’s eyes are adjusting to the dark and he catches a glimpse of that smile, perfect and bright, and he manages to smile back.
“So I was wrong,” Hayato replies, lightly. “I’m not as grown up as I imagined.”
“It has nothing to do with growing up,” Ryu says, and his tone is stiffer than before, and Hayato wonders if he said anything wrong. “Some things just don’t have to change.”
Hayato doesn’t want to speak again, doesn’t want to make another mistake. He merely hums in agreement. Absently, he notes that Ryu is still holding his hand, and he feels a tingle of delight. He is warmer now, even though his blanket has been kicked to the floor some time during his sleep, and the room is chill with the winter air seeping through the windows and walls.
The two of them remain like that for a while, until finally Ryu moves to pull away and get up. Hayato feels a moment of panic and holds onto Ryu’s hand, fingers gripping into flesh. “That hurts, you idiot.”
“Stay,” Hayato says. “Stay.” He feels like he’s admitting a weakness, but he doesn’t know what, exactly, but the moment Ryu falls back into the couch, Hayato feels exposed, guilty, awkward.
“Still scared?” Ryu asks, laughing a little. But it isn’t that, Hayato knows. The remains of the nightmare has vanished, and all he wants is just for Ryu to stay. He’s not scared anymore, but he wants, needs Ryu to be close by anyway. So he doesn’t answer, and instead puts his head onto Ryu’s shoulder.
Ryu flinches, a tiny movement, almost unnoticeable, but he doesn’t make a comment and simply allows Hayato to bury his head into the crook of his neck.
They stay that way until sunrise, an hour later. Ryu’s shoulder is aching painfully, but Hayato has fallen asleep, so he doesn’t complain, doesn’t move, and waits until Hayato wakes up as the first rays of sunshine filters into the room.
---
Hayato has to go to work. “You should stay here and get some sleep,” Hayato tells Ryu. Ryu is tired and so he obliges and stays at Hayato’s apartment for the whole day. He is asleep on the couch when Hayato comes back.
How silly, Hayato thinks. Why didn’t he sleep on the bed?
Ryu stirs when Hayato sits down on the couch. He has always been a light sleeper. He opens his eyes and smiles sleepily at Hayato, and at that moment Hayato’s heart does a funny little flip. “How was work?”
“It was okay. As always,” Hayato responds carelessly.
That night, they have cup noodles for dinner again. This time Hayato tries to stay awake with Ryu through the night, watching some trashy American movies that Hayato borrowed from Tsucchi months ago and which he’d never bothered to return.
Hayato ends up falling asleep at two in the morning anyway. Ryu turns off the TV and leans back into the couch and tries to sleep.
---
The night of Christmas Eve, Tsucchi texts Hayato. A gathering, he says, karaoke and some drinks. The Class 3D gang. Hayato texts back: We’re going.
See you later is Tsucchi’s first text back. Minutes later, there is a second text. What do you mean, ‘we’? Hayato doesn’t send a reply. He looks up from his phone and smiles at Ryu. Ryu smiles back knowingly.
---
Half an hour later, they arrive at the karaoke bar. Tsucchi, Take, and Hyuuga are already there. Hayato supposes he won’t ever forget the expressions of shock on their faces when Ryu steps into the room behind him. Take is the first to recover, throwing himself onto Ryu, shouting incoherently and clinging to Ryu’s sleeve, his eyes wet as if he was going to cry any moment. Tsucchi and Hyuuga has an exchange between themselves: “Ryu?” “Ryu?” “--Odagiri Ryu?” “What, isn’t that guy in Canada?”
Ryu takes a seat and Take offers him a drink immediately. He politely sips the beer. Hayato grabs his own drink and downs it in one go. The froth is cold in his mouth.
They sing songs, mostly ones from before Ryu left. But Tsucchi and Take choose a recent pop song that Hayato is sure Ryu won’t recognize, and Hayato watches Ryu from the corner of his eye when the beginning of the song comes on. Ryu is laughing at a joke Hyuuga just made, and Tsucchi is attempting to sing in a high-pitched voice. It doesn’t really work, and Ryu laughs even more at that. Hayato thinks his eardrums are going to be shattered, but he doesn’t care; he is only relieved that Ryu doesn’t seem to mind the fact that they’re singing a song unfamiliar to him.
Hayato sings a song on his own, because everyone else encourages him to. “You’ve got the best voice among us,” Take says adoringly, with big pleading eyes. So he does his solo. It is an emotional love song. Take tries hard not to cry. In the last chorus Tsucchi and Hyuuga join in with the singing, and that makes Take laugh.
When the song ends, everyone applauds and cheers.
Hayato feels proud. He thinks he sang well. He turns to Ryu and asks, “So, what did you think?”
“You’ve always been a good singer,” Ryu says quietly, lips in the shape of a half-smile, soft, admiring. His eyes are shining. Hayato blinks. Perhaps it is not much in the way of praise, but his heart swells up, and suddenly he feels glorious-- the most famous singer in the world, with millions and billions of fans. (But when it comes to it, Ryu is enough, the only audience he’s ever needed.)
Hayato feels proud. He thinks he sang well.
---
They stumble out of the karaoke bar at midnight, saying their Christmas greetings and farewells and parting. Hayato is tired and a little drunk. His footsteps sway as they head back to the apartment, and his arm is thrown around Ryu’s neck for support. The beer makes him speak things he never dared to speak before.
“When are you leaving, Ryu?”
Ryu freezes. Hayato almost trips over Ryu’s feet. “I haven’t decided yet,” he answers after a while, and finally carries on walking.
“Is it okay if you don’t ever go back to Canada?” Hayato murmurs into Ryu’s shoulder, words muffled and slurred.
Ryu remains quiet, walking on with some sort of determination. But Hayato wants a response. So he waits for it, keeping his eyes wide open. And then it comes: “I never wanted to.” Something starts to hurt within him, and his head throbs even more with the alcohol.
He slips into a dazed sleep, where he dreams of fights and bruises and police stations and Ryu lying on the couch next to him.
---
The next morning, he opens his eyes and Ryu is already awake next to him, watching the morning news on TV with a muted volume. “Hey,” he says, and cringes a little. He has a headache.
“Hey,” Ryu returns, groping for the remote control at his side and using it to turn the volume back on. At once the room is flooded with the crisp voice of the female reporter on screen. “Hungover? Want some water?” Ryu asks.
Hayato nods. Ryu gets up.
Hayato tries to recall last night. Fragments of his dream are coming back to him. It doesn’t make much sense. Ryu comes back with a glassful of water. Hayato gulps it down and feels his head clear a little, yet things don’t make sense still. But he knows that sometimes, you have to do what your heart tells you to do, even if it makes no sense at all.
“Are you still going to leave?” Hayato looks at Ryu. It is a question that has to be asked, a question that in the end, neither of them can escape from. Ryu looks away, silent.
“Hey, Ryu,” Hayato calls. “Ryu.” He reaches out with a hand and brushes Ryu’s cheek. Ryu turns back. And on the spur of the moment, Hayato leans over and captures Ryu’s lips with his own.
--And it’s like puzzle pieces sliding together, things beginning to make sense. Ryu doesn’t back away; instead, he shuffles a little closer until there is almost no gap between their bodies. They sit there on the couch like that for a while, just kissing. Hayato relishes the taste of the inside of Ryu’s mouth, warm and sweet. They were always meant to be together like this.
Best of friends, forever.
---
Ryu tells Hayato he is due to leave on New Years Eve, in four days. Hayato just smiles and kisses him. Four days. That can be forgotten. For now, there is only the present, lying on the couch together and soggy instant noodles for dinner again.
They have sex for the first time that night, bodies folding together on the narrow couch and grunts of pleasure smothered into the cushions. In the aftermath, Ryu asks Hayato to sing for him. Hayato obliges. There is that emotional love song from the karaoke on Christmas Eve, sounding in the cool night air. Hayato’s voice is trembling when he sings.
Halfway through, Ryu turns away. He is crying. (And then, Hayato realizes that he must have been crying that night at the karaoke too, with those shining eyes.)
They fall asleep in each other’s arms.
---
“I’ll be back next summer,” Ryu promises. They are at the airport and there are people all around them, family and friends saying goodbye. “I’ll give you a call next time, before the flight.”
“I’ll wait for you at the airport then,” Hayato says, a returned promise. They smile at each other, for a moment, Ryu’s hand clasped in Hayato’s. “Good luck. Study hard. Eat more. You’re too thin.”
Ryu laughs playfully. “Then why did you feed me with nothing but cup noodles? Hypocrite. You’re getting thinner yourself too, did you know that?”
Hayato suddenly realizes how much of an idiot he’s been. “Oh. Oh. I’m sorry. I’ll make sure we eat something other than cup noodles next time you come back. We can go out to eat some time.”
“No, it’s fine. Keep the noodles. I like them. They taste different in Canada, you know. Less good. So-- I’ll eat more fast food when I’m in Canada,” Ryu says, half-jokingly. “That should fatten me up: burgers, fries and all that.”
Hayato grins. “I expect to see you fatter next time then.”
“I won’t let you down.” And Hayato understands that it’s not just that-- Ryu won’t ever let him down on anything. There are promises of a lifetime between them, unspoken, but that’s what best friends are good at, isn’t it? Listening to the words that haven’t been said.
“I know you won’t,” Hayato replies, smiling, smiling, smiling until his lips feel strained. “--You should go now. I’ll see you next summer then.” Ryu nods and turns and walks away, black suitcase following his side.
Hayato watches Ryu’s back passing through the gates to security check.
He is already waiting for next summer to come.
--fin.
Pairing: Hayato/Ryu
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some sexual themes.
For: spurnd. Ilu darling. <3 Yes, I've finished a fic for you at last! I hope you like it. ♥
Word Count: 2,834
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Author's Notes: Un-beta'ed. I love this pairing. I am touched by their friendship. I spent a while looking up friendship quotes and felt compelled to write a HayaRyu fic. Because seriously, Hayato and Ryu are lucky to have each other as their best friends.
do you know you touch my heart
Ryu turns up at the door of Hayato’s apartment one December night. Hayato is lying on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV screen and slurping his cup noodles when that happens, the ring of the doorbell resonating through the small apartment. He isn’t expecting a visitor. It is nearly midnight and in four days it will be Christmas, and there isn’t anything interesting showing on TV apart from some horror movie that Hayato might have seen before.
It takes Hayato some effort to get up and drag himself over to the door. When he opens it, Ryu is standing outside with a black suitcase. Hayato hasn’t seen Ryu in months (but it feels like years), and he’s not ready for this. He’s not ready for Ryu, Ryu stepping into his apartment without a word, Ryu looking paler and thinner than he remembers, Ryu taking off his shoes and then settling down on the couch, eyes closed and lips pressed together in a tight line.
Hayato stares. He doesn’t know how to react, what to say. “Ryu,” he tries, tentatively; he hasn’t tasted the sound of that name for so long. Ryu doesn’t seem to have heard him. “Ryu,” he tries again, louder this time. Ryu opens his eyes and meets Hayato’s gaze, and Hayato thinks there is exhaustion and loneliness behind those dark brown eyes.
“I’m hungry, Hayato,” Ryu says suddenly. He glances at the cup noodles that Hayato’s nearly finished. Hayato scuttles into the kitchen immediately and takes a cup out of the cupboard where he keeps his gigantic stock of instant food. He peels back the lid and pours in boiling water and watches the white steam for several seconds before closing the lid again.
He takes the cup out along with a spare pair of plastic chopsticks and hands them over to Ryu. “Three minutes,” he reminds Ryu. Ryu doesn’t say anything. Hayato goes back to eating his own noodles. There are questions, too many questions, but it doesn’t feel right to ask any of them.
Ryu blinks at the TV screen. A girl is running down a corridor and screaming and everything is coloured an eerie black-blue, and there is a silvery shadow chasing after the girl. “You-- we’ve watched this before,” Ryu points out. “You were scared, back then.”
“I’m not scared anymore,” Hayato replies. The girl reaches a wall and keeps on screaming, fists hammering helplessly on the metal. Then all of a sudden she stops, eyes wide, and there is only blood, blood everywhere.
Ryu is eating now. The three minutes are over. “How have you been?” he asks after swallowing. Hayato finds it funny how Ryu is the first one to ask a question, and not him.
“Fine.” Hayato thinks he is probably lying, but that’s okay. They’ve always lied about things like this. “I’ve got a job at Kuma’s ramen shop. How about you?” He’s the one asking now, at last.
“It’s been half a year, hasn’t it?” Ryu is avoiding his question. Hayato frowns. There is one long, despairing wail from the TV.
“How did you know where to find me?” Hayato tries to ask another question.
“I just did,” Ryu replies, and it’s the most natural thing in the world. Ryu is smiling slightly now, and Hayato has a fleeting moment where he thinks Ryu has been here forever, living in this apartment with him, eating soggy instant noodles with him, smiling at him. Best friends, forever.
They never promised each other that. Never really claimed aloud to be the best of friends, never really said they’d stick to each other till the end. But Hayato had always thought it to be a tacit agreement, something that goes without saying.
The clock strikes midnight, and Hayato is reminded of the fact that there is half a year between them now, all those miles from Japan to Canada and back, and there is a dull pain in his chest. Hayato chews on the last of his noodles and quietly watches the rest of the horror movie unfold. Ryu finishes his noodles too, and Hayato takes both of their cups and goes to the kitchen and dumps the soup down the sink, throwing the empty cups into the rubbish bin.
When Hayato comes back out, the ending credits are rolling on the screen. A quarter past twelve. He presses a button on the remote control and the screen flickers into black. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, you can have my bed,” Hayato says. Ryu opens his mouth, as if to say something, but then he nods and takes his suitcase with him into the bedroom.
Hayato follows him in and grabs a blanket from the closet. “G’ night,” he says as he leaves the room. Ryu doesn’t respond. Hayato switches the lights off in the living room and curls up on the couch, draping the blanket over himself.
He doesn’t fall asleep until the lights are off in the bedroom as well.
---
Hayato wakes up, panting and cold and forehead matted with sweat. There is a silvery shadow and splashes of crimson in his dream. He feels dizzy and fear is suffocating him. The room is too dark, but as he recovers he notices a hand clutching his, reassuring, and his breathing slows and the fear dissolves.
“Ryu,” he murmurs. “Did I wake you up?”
“I didn’t sleep,” Ryu says softly. “Jet lag. The time difference-- it’s the afternoon in Canada right now.”
“Oh,” Hayato leans back into the couch. He feels silly, stupid. He should have known. He should have stayed up to keep company for Ryu. It must have been awful to be awake and alone and to have nothing to do for hours. “Oh.”
“I thought you said you weren’t scared anymore,” Ryu says, teasing, smiling. Hayato’s eyes are adjusting to the dark and he catches a glimpse of that smile, perfect and bright, and he manages to smile back.
“So I was wrong,” Hayato replies, lightly. “I’m not as grown up as I imagined.”
“It has nothing to do with growing up,” Ryu says, and his tone is stiffer than before, and Hayato wonders if he said anything wrong. “Some things just don’t have to change.”
Hayato doesn’t want to speak again, doesn’t want to make another mistake. He merely hums in agreement. Absently, he notes that Ryu is still holding his hand, and he feels a tingle of delight. He is warmer now, even though his blanket has been kicked to the floor some time during his sleep, and the room is chill with the winter air seeping through the windows and walls.
The two of them remain like that for a while, until finally Ryu moves to pull away and get up. Hayato feels a moment of panic and holds onto Ryu’s hand, fingers gripping into flesh. “That hurts, you idiot.”
“Stay,” Hayato says. “Stay.” He feels like he’s admitting a weakness, but he doesn’t know what, exactly, but the moment Ryu falls back into the couch, Hayato feels exposed, guilty, awkward.
“Still scared?” Ryu asks, laughing a little. But it isn’t that, Hayato knows. The remains of the nightmare has vanished, and all he wants is just for Ryu to stay. He’s not scared anymore, but he wants, needs Ryu to be close by anyway. So he doesn’t answer, and instead puts his head onto Ryu’s shoulder.
Ryu flinches, a tiny movement, almost unnoticeable, but he doesn’t make a comment and simply allows Hayato to bury his head into the crook of his neck.
They stay that way until sunrise, an hour later. Ryu’s shoulder is aching painfully, but Hayato has fallen asleep, so he doesn’t complain, doesn’t move, and waits until Hayato wakes up as the first rays of sunshine filters into the room.
---
Hayato has to go to work. “You should stay here and get some sleep,” Hayato tells Ryu. Ryu is tired and so he obliges and stays at Hayato’s apartment for the whole day. He is asleep on the couch when Hayato comes back.
How silly, Hayato thinks. Why didn’t he sleep on the bed?
Ryu stirs when Hayato sits down on the couch. He has always been a light sleeper. He opens his eyes and smiles sleepily at Hayato, and at that moment Hayato’s heart does a funny little flip. “How was work?”
“It was okay. As always,” Hayato responds carelessly.
That night, they have cup noodles for dinner again. This time Hayato tries to stay awake with Ryu through the night, watching some trashy American movies that Hayato borrowed from Tsucchi months ago and which he’d never bothered to return.
Hayato ends up falling asleep at two in the morning anyway. Ryu turns off the TV and leans back into the couch and tries to sleep.
---
The night of Christmas Eve, Tsucchi texts Hayato. A gathering, he says, karaoke and some drinks. The Class 3D gang. Hayato texts back: We’re going.
See you later is Tsucchi’s first text back. Minutes later, there is a second text. What do you mean, ‘we’? Hayato doesn’t send a reply. He looks up from his phone and smiles at Ryu. Ryu smiles back knowingly.
---
Half an hour later, they arrive at the karaoke bar. Tsucchi, Take, and Hyuuga are already there. Hayato supposes he won’t ever forget the expressions of shock on their faces when Ryu steps into the room behind him. Take is the first to recover, throwing himself onto Ryu, shouting incoherently and clinging to Ryu’s sleeve, his eyes wet as if he was going to cry any moment. Tsucchi and Hyuuga has an exchange between themselves: “Ryu?” “Ryu?” “--Odagiri Ryu?” “What, isn’t that guy in Canada?”
Ryu takes a seat and Take offers him a drink immediately. He politely sips the beer. Hayato grabs his own drink and downs it in one go. The froth is cold in his mouth.
They sing songs, mostly ones from before Ryu left. But Tsucchi and Take choose a recent pop song that Hayato is sure Ryu won’t recognize, and Hayato watches Ryu from the corner of his eye when the beginning of the song comes on. Ryu is laughing at a joke Hyuuga just made, and Tsucchi is attempting to sing in a high-pitched voice. It doesn’t really work, and Ryu laughs even more at that. Hayato thinks his eardrums are going to be shattered, but he doesn’t care; he is only relieved that Ryu doesn’t seem to mind the fact that they’re singing a song unfamiliar to him.
Hayato sings a song on his own, because everyone else encourages him to. “You’ve got the best voice among us,” Take says adoringly, with big pleading eyes. So he does his solo. It is an emotional love song. Take tries hard not to cry. In the last chorus Tsucchi and Hyuuga join in with the singing, and that makes Take laugh.
When the song ends, everyone applauds and cheers.
Hayato feels proud. He thinks he sang well. He turns to Ryu and asks, “So, what did you think?”
“You’ve always been a good singer,” Ryu says quietly, lips in the shape of a half-smile, soft, admiring. His eyes are shining. Hayato blinks. Perhaps it is not much in the way of praise, but his heart swells up, and suddenly he feels glorious-- the most famous singer in the world, with millions and billions of fans. (But when it comes to it, Ryu is enough, the only audience he’s ever needed.)
Hayato feels proud. He thinks he sang well.
---
They stumble out of the karaoke bar at midnight, saying their Christmas greetings and farewells and parting. Hayato is tired and a little drunk. His footsteps sway as they head back to the apartment, and his arm is thrown around Ryu’s neck for support. The beer makes him speak things he never dared to speak before.
“When are you leaving, Ryu?”
Ryu freezes. Hayato almost trips over Ryu’s feet. “I haven’t decided yet,” he answers after a while, and finally carries on walking.
“Is it okay if you don’t ever go back to Canada?” Hayato murmurs into Ryu’s shoulder, words muffled and slurred.
Ryu remains quiet, walking on with some sort of determination. But Hayato wants a response. So he waits for it, keeping his eyes wide open. And then it comes: “I never wanted to.” Something starts to hurt within him, and his head throbs even more with the alcohol.
He slips into a dazed sleep, where he dreams of fights and bruises and police stations and Ryu lying on the couch next to him.
---
The next morning, he opens his eyes and Ryu is already awake next to him, watching the morning news on TV with a muted volume. “Hey,” he says, and cringes a little. He has a headache.
“Hey,” Ryu returns, groping for the remote control at his side and using it to turn the volume back on. At once the room is flooded with the crisp voice of the female reporter on screen. “Hungover? Want some water?” Ryu asks.
Hayato nods. Ryu gets up.
Hayato tries to recall last night. Fragments of his dream are coming back to him. It doesn’t make much sense. Ryu comes back with a glassful of water. Hayato gulps it down and feels his head clear a little, yet things don’t make sense still. But he knows that sometimes, you have to do what your heart tells you to do, even if it makes no sense at all.
“Are you still going to leave?” Hayato looks at Ryu. It is a question that has to be asked, a question that in the end, neither of them can escape from. Ryu looks away, silent.
“Hey, Ryu,” Hayato calls. “Ryu.” He reaches out with a hand and brushes Ryu’s cheek. Ryu turns back. And on the spur of the moment, Hayato leans over and captures Ryu’s lips with his own.
--And it’s like puzzle pieces sliding together, things beginning to make sense. Ryu doesn’t back away; instead, he shuffles a little closer until there is almost no gap between their bodies. They sit there on the couch like that for a while, just kissing. Hayato relishes the taste of the inside of Ryu’s mouth, warm and sweet. They were always meant to be together like this.
Best of friends, forever.
---
Ryu tells Hayato he is due to leave on New Years Eve, in four days. Hayato just smiles and kisses him. Four days. That can be forgotten. For now, there is only the present, lying on the couch together and soggy instant noodles for dinner again.
They have sex for the first time that night, bodies folding together on the narrow couch and grunts of pleasure smothered into the cushions. In the aftermath, Ryu asks Hayato to sing for him. Hayato obliges. There is that emotional love song from the karaoke on Christmas Eve, sounding in the cool night air. Hayato’s voice is trembling when he sings.
Halfway through, Ryu turns away. He is crying. (And then, Hayato realizes that he must have been crying that night at the karaoke too, with those shining eyes.)
They fall asleep in each other’s arms.
---
“I’ll be back next summer,” Ryu promises. They are at the airport and there are people all around them, family and friends saying goodbye. “I’ll give you a call next time, before the flight.”
“I’ll wait for you at the airport then,” Hayato says, a returned promise. They smile at each other, for a moment, Ryu’s hand clasped in Hayato’s. “Good luck. Study hard. Eat more. You’re too thin.”
Ryu laughs playfully. “Then why did you feed me with nothing but cup noodles? Hypocrite. You’re getting thinner yourself too, did you know that?”
Hayato suddenly realizes how much of an idiot he’s been. “Oh. Oh. I’m sorry. I’ll make sure we eat something other than cup noodles next time you come back. We can go out to eat some time.”
“No, it’s fine. Keep the noodles. I like them. They taste different in Canada, you know. Less good. So-- I’ll eat more fast food when I’m in Canada,” Ryu says, half-jokingly. “That should fatten me up: burgers, fries and all that.”
Hayato grins. “I expect to see you fatter next time then.”
“I won’t let you down.” And Hayato understands that it’s not just that-- Ryu won’t ever let him down on anything. There are promises of a lifetime between them, unspoken, but that’s what best friends are good at, isn’t it? Listening to the words that haven’t been said.
“I know you won’t,” Hayato replies, smiling, smiling, smiling until his lips feel strained. “--You should go now. I’ll see you next summer then.” Ryu nods and turns and walks away, black suitcase following his side.
Hayato watches Ryu’s back passing through the gates to security check.
He is already waiting for next summer to come.
--fin.