(no subject)
For the last time, feelings aren't sacrosanct! It's some sort of female thing, I swear- we have to coddle each other and assure each other that our feelings are completely right and never, ever wrong. As much as I love the whole pregnancy/motherhood thing, sometimes I wish I was a dude (not really, lol). Support =/= agreeing with everything. One should not have to censor herself just because she thinks another person's feelings are wrong on a given subject. I seriously can't stand the idea that women form this monolithic sisterhood just because we have boobs and vaginas and the like.
Anyways, Joe's dad came to visit again. It's no wonder why neither of us like Joe's father- he's a tool. He asked a question I haven't heard in a long, long time, and have been dreading:
FIL: So, Nicole, when are you going back to work?
Me: Not for a few years, if at all. (the same answer I have always given him since becoming a parent)
FIL: (shocked) WHY NOT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
Me: Because I would rather be here for my children rather than send them to daycare to be raised by strangers in the daytime.
FIL: (no less shocked) BUT M. SENDS HER KIDS TO DAYCARE!!!!! (M= Joe's sister)
Me: That is her choice, I made mine.
FIL: You two (Joe and I) could be out of debt by now if you would go back to work! (not entirely true...)
Me: Not entirely true, but our finances are kind of a personal thing.
FIL: Don't you want your kids to live in a nicer place?
Me: I'm not going to change my mind on this. (this was about as nice as I could be).
What angers me isn't that he feels differently from me- it's the accusation that I am holding my family back financially by raising my own children. Yes, we struggle a lot, but we pay our bills, and it's a sacrifice we are glad to make. I don't really care what Joe's sister does with her kids. Besides, she is a a single parent anyway- her situation is a little different.
Another thing that irritates me is that I know it's going to bite me in the ass- this entire conversation will be relayed to Joe's sister, and probably to a whole bunch of other relatives too. It's happened before, when I was accused of blocking a relative from seeing my facebook account (I didn't- perhaps she misspelled my name). I got confronted about this in the hospital after giving birth to Simon. That was AWESOME. No wonder I keep them at arm's length now.
Anyways, Joe's dad came to visit again. It's no wonder why neither of us like Joe's father- he's a tool. He asked a question I haven't heard in a long, long time, and have been dreading:
FIL: So, Nicole, when are you going back to work?
Me: Not for a few years, if at all. (the same answer I have always given him since becoming a parent)
FIL: (shocked) WHY NOT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
Me: Because I would rather be here for my children rather than send them to daycare to be raised by strangers in the daytime.
FIL: (no less shocked) BUT M. SENDS HER KIDS TO DAYCARE!!!!! (M= Joe's sister)
Me: That is her choice, I made mine.
FIL: You two (Joe and I) could be out of debt by now if you would go back to work! (not entirely true...)
Me: Not entirely true, but our finances are kind of a personal thing.
FIL: Don't you want your kids to live in a nicer place?
Me: I'm not going to change my mind on this. (this was about as nice as I could be).
What angers me isn't that he feels differently from me- it's the accusation that I am holding my family back financially by raising my own children. Yes, we struggle a lot, but we pay our bills, and it's a sacrifice we are glad to make. I don't really care what Joe's sister does with her kids. Besides, she is a a single parent anyway- her situation is a little different.
Another thing that irritates me is that I know it's going to bite me in the ass- this entire conversation will be relayed to Joe's sister, and probably to a whole bunch of other relatives too. It's happened before, when I was accused of blocking a relative from seeing my facebook account (I didn't- perhaps she misspelled my name). I got confronted about this in the hospital after giving birth to Simon. That was AWESOME. No wonder I keep them at arm's length now.