(no subject)
Sitting in Brian's room. Yeah, I'm actually on campus. End of November Moye suggested I try withdrawing from classes. I didn't get back to him until today, where we've been bouncing emails back and forth because he wasn't on campus yet. Shockingly, there's still a chance that I can withdraw. If anyone can make it happen, it's Richard. I'm not sure what I'll do otherwise. Classes end tomorrow, finals are next week.
Still haven't spoken with mom about it. She knows something is wrong because I was on the phone with her a few days ago. I needed extra money to pay for fuel oil. Left her a message, she calls me back later in the day, and I know she's going to ask about other stuff but...
Kind of went like:
"Other than that, how are you doing?"
"Eh."
"...are you at least managing?"
".....eh. I don't... really want to talk about it right now."
Haven't really ever done that before.
I don't even know what I want from her. I just remember her condescending tone when I mentioned classes were hard to get through and she was like "well, you gotta push through, you gotta graduate."
I just want to snap back and say it's not that easy, and how can she eve talk? She never went to college.
Fuck I'm so tired. I've been going to bed like... from anywhere between 3pm-6pm and waking up after 2am. Woke up at around 5:45am today. Kind of in what I call a "lull" state wherein I could stare at a wall for a few hours and be at peace.
I don't know.
I don't... have any goals in life. I don't have any ambition. If I manage to get out of college, what am I going to do? I haven't the faintest of ideas. My writing has sort of twitched, but do I really want a career in it?
I applied for a job at UPS recently. Went to see them along with like... eight other people and they spoke about the job and the spoke with an HR Rep who sent me home to do part 2 of the app which he unlocked for me. Haven't heard back from them. They did say they'd hire up til the 24th, but... IDK.
I think I might try and apply for the package handling, that's what I should have done in the first place. I guess I didn't notice it, or something. Or I was doing the driver helper initially on a whim. I think I still could do it. The main problem is that you work in any weather, and I hate the cold, but I wouldn't have been the one driving. UPS also promoted with in and had benefits for part-time folk.
I really hope if I go for the package handling then I can get it. It's the sort of thing I could do, not that I can explain it.
I can't explain much of anything. I'll probably never find a way to properly articulate myself... it's hard, it really is.
In other news, I've been playing WoW. Finished reading all 8 Dal books this morn' and got the lil familiar~ Haven't really been focusing on my main. Lvl 63 lolz. Mostly been doing three dailies on her: the cooking and fishing Orgimmar quests and the venomhide hatchling quest. One more day and I'll have me a raptor mount! :D
Tried out the Worgen and Goblin starting areas. I made a Worgen with Kae and Rue on the Sentinels RP server, and my gobbie on my norm Eredar. I actually liked the Worgen starting stuff better :O Folk are like "it's dull and boring just like them" but I thought it was fun. *shrugs* To each their own.
I hadn't realized until yesterday though that the names of my two characters are similar XD I had made them like... a day or two apart, too. Junelle is my Worgen, Bethell is my Goblin.
Poked around with archeology earlier. It reminds me of the Chocobo Hot & Cold game from FF9, which I had always gotten addicted to XD Soooo I kind of like this.
Flying in Azeroth makes everything easier, especially on a PVP server. I managed to slide into Darkmoon Faire to peer around, and then chilled out on a Stormwind tower before I got paranoid and hearthed home XD Though I belatedly remembered a certain achievement and was like "Damn! I should've fished something up before I left!" I'll do that suicidal rush another time lol.
Probably will go back to leveling later. Whenever I'm awake. Moye said he'd bug Kascenska again if he didn't answer by noon. There's no way I'm seeing the dean til I hear from Moye.
Still haven't spoken with mom about it. She knows something is wrong because I was on the phone with her a few days ago. I needed extra money to pay for fuel oil. Left her a message, she calls me back later in the day, and I know she's going to ask about other stuff but...
Kind of went like:
"Other than that, how are you doing?"
"Eh."
"...are you at least managing?"
".....eh. I don't... really want to talk about it right now."
Haven't really ever done that before.
I don't even know what I want from her. I just remember her condescending tone when I mentioned classes were hard to get through and she was like "well, you gotta push through, you gotta graduate."
I just want to snap back and say it's not that easy, and how can she eve talk? She never went to college.
Fuck I'm so tired. I've been going to bed like... from anywhere between 3pm-6pm and waking up after 2am. Woke up at around 5:45am today. Kind of in what I call a "lull" state wherein I could stare at a wall for a few hours and be at peace.
I don't know.
I don't... have any goals in life. I don't have any ambition. If I manage to get out of college, what am I going to do? I haven't the faintest of ideas. My writing has sort of twitched, but do I really want a career in it?
I applied for a job at UPS recently. Went to see them along with like... eight other people and they spoke about the job and the spoke with an HR Rep who sent me home to do part 2 of the app which he unlocked for me. Haven't heard back from them. They did say they'd hire up til the 24th, but... IDK.
I think I might try and apply for the package handling, that's what I should have done in the first place. I guess I didn't notice it, or something. Or I was doing the driver helper initially on a whim. I think I still could do it. The main problem is that you work in any weather, and I hate the cold, but I wouldn't have been the one driving. UPS also promoted with in and had benefits for part-time folk.
I really hope if I go for the package handling then I can get it. It's the sort of thing I could do, not that I can explain it.
I can't explain much of anything. I'll probably never find a way to properly articulate myself... it's hard, it really is.
In other news, I've been playing WoW. Finished reading all 8 Dal books this morn' and got the lil familiar~ Haven't really been focusing on my main. Lvl 63 lolz. Mostly been doing three dailies on her: the cooking and fishing Orgimmar quests and the venomhide hatchling quest. One more day and I'll have me a raptor mount! :D
Tried out the Worgen and Goblin starting areas. I made a Worgen with Kae and Rue on the Sentinels RP server, and my gobbie on my norm Eredar. I actually liked the Worgen starting stuff better :O Folk are like "it's dull and boring just like them" but I thought it was fun. *shrugs* To each their own.
I hadn't realized until yesterday though that the names of my two characters are similar XD I had made them like... a day or two apart, too. Junelle is my Worgen, Bethell is my Goblin.
Poked around with archeology earlier. It reminds me of the Chocobo Hot & Cold game from FF9, which I had always gotten addicted to XD Soooo I kind of like this.
Flying in Azeroth makes everything easier, especially on a PVP server. I managed to slide into Darkmoon Faire to peer around, and then chilled out on a Stormwind tower before I got paranoid and hearthed home XD Though I belatedly remembered a certain achievement and was like "Damn! I should've fished something up before I left!" I'll do that suicidal rush another time lol.
Probably will go back to leveling later. Whenever I'm awake. Moye said he'd bug Kascenska again if he didn't answer by noon. There's no way I'm seeing the dean til I hear from Moye.