Wow.. I feel like the biggest idiot ( Read more... )

I want it to be okay.
I'm tired
and my body aches.

Lately I've realized
it's never been okay
and
that's not a good thing.

I don't know
what I'm doing anymore.
What to do
anymore.

I miss myself
because
I think I've
disappeared.

Please come find me?

I can feel the control slipping away from me
Right through my fingers
I have become hopeless once again
and I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror.

I think you're pathetic.
And it's really bugging me.

So there was something wrong with the TV, and CSI New York WASN'T ON!

What a way to completely and utterly destroy what little shred of goodness in my night was left.

But Law & Order wasn't bad. I watched that instead.

I am completely and utterly miserable because.. well.

I realized something yesterday that I didn't want to realize. And I vocalized it. Only it wasn't vocalized back.

And although nothing's changed, it's the most heartbreaking experience I've ever gone through.

I don't know what to do with myself.

MYSPACE, WHAT?

I want friends.

So in Media Arts
my group is doing film
and
my idea was this superhero-esque girl
named Party Girl
who saves our school
from the dreaded Homework Boy.

Her theme song is Crazy Little Party Girl.

By Aaron Carter.

I'm so awesome.

PS; I've definitely fallen in major like. It's kind of pathetic. But I rock the pathetic like nobody else can.

I never thought that
something like this
could happen so fast.

Suddenly
everything is perfect;
more perfect than it's ever been.

These weekend days that
I only imagined before,
are suddenly a brilliant reality
that
I want to embrace
until my limbs ache.

<3

I am so happy/excited
because
I met a boy last night
who is cute beyond words
and
REALLY REALLY SOON
he's coming to pick me up.

I fucking love butterflies
in my stomach.