So, I just watched GI Joe: Rise of Cobra.
Damn. That was a surprisingly fun movie. Really, I should have expected nothing less from Stephen Sommers (anyone who wasn't entertained by Van Helsing doesn't enjoy fun... or works for Universal and took a beating on that one).
"*Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were done really well. They're freaking commando ninjas and you don't need to spend much time setting up what commando ninjas can do. Just show them kicking all kinds of ass.
*That said, the flashbacks showing Kid Snake Eyes and Kid Storm Shadow kicking the living hell out of each other were really awesome. I never knew that I wanted to see two children beat each other up like that, but apparently that's exactly what I was looking for in an action movie.
*Okay, I don't normally go down this route because I always find it kind of creepy to do when the vast majority of my flist is women, but it needs to be said: Sienna Miller was really, really hot as the Baroness. I mean, I know that the character is kind of a lightning rod for nerd lust to begin with since she combines glasses with a catsuit and ass kicking, but I generally stayed away from that, probably because I was never that big into GI Joe. But holy crap. She completely overshadows Scarlett. I mean, it's not even close. Damn.
Okay, I'm going to stop now.
*On a related note, she kept an American accent better than I thought she would. The fact that she isn't American was only painfully obvious a few times.
*This didn't make sense to me when I first heard it and it still doesn't make sense to me now that I've seen the movie. JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT AS COBRA COMMANDER? REALLY? I mean, he's a great actor and all, but... I mean, really. Joseph. Gordon-. Levitt. I also wasn't a fan of the Vaderization of CC. But whatever.
*Speaking of Star Wars, that sub battle was way too blatantly a Return of the Jedi knockoff. Did we REALLY need the superlaser in there?
*I kind of think it's weird that I really liked Marlon Wayans in something. I think I'm giving Sommers some credit for this, though. The dude knows how to use comic relief sidekicks. It's one of the cliches Sommers always plays like a fiddle.
*Channing Tatum is not a good actor, but he could be a very good action star if he plays his cards right.
*Ray Park is a horrible actor, but he's a FANTASTIC character actor, assuming the character type in question is somebody who doesn't speak and who kicks people. It worked for him in SW and it worked for him here. The lips on the mask were weird, though.
*I can't figure out how people didn't recognize that Cobra Commander and Rex were the same person. The breathing apparatus didn't cover enough of JGL's face to really use that. And his wig looks just like slightly longer JGL hair. That part was really, really weak.
*The final note I have, I guess, is that it's just kind of weird to have characters from an 80's cartoon 1) say "shit" repeatedly and 2) actually hit things they're shooting at.
But yeah, really fun movie.