conversation
so I was having a convo with my friend a few days ago about my struggles with belief and various other things.... so I guess here goes (I'm in pink my friend is in blue)..... its kinda long... it may be boring to some of you... and hard to understand at some points.... but I guess you don't have to read it....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:12 PM]: so how's it giong
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:15 PM]: going
haloengine7496 [7:33:24 PM]: im well yiu?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:34 PM]: blah i dunno
haloengine7496 [7:33:40 PM]: ?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:45 PM]: apparently today my friends have said that i havent been myself
haloengine7496 [7:34:16 PM]: ??????????
haloengine7496 [7:34:19 PM]: why?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:34:48 PM]: i..... dont.... know.....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:35:02 PM]: kim was pretty freaked out she was running away from me.....
haloengine7496 [7:35:11 PM]: ??????????????
haloengine7496 [7:35:18 PM]: explain hun....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:35:37 PM]: i dunno i had just woken up and was going somewhere and ran into kim and a few others
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:35:50 PM]: she came to talk to me asked if i was ok i said i ihad just woken up
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:36:03 PM]: but she was still freaked out and was like oh my goodness are you ok you're freaking me out
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:36:13 PM]: she said she was getting bad vibes
haloengine7496 [7:36:30 PM]: ....................
haloengine7496 [7:36:31 PM]: mmmmmm
haloengine7496 [7:36:40 PM]: is she gifyed?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:37:03 PM]: then she was like tell me you love me (she always says that) and i made a cheery face and said it cheerfully and she RAN from me screaming SHE HATES ME YOU HATE ME
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:37:15 PM]: yea she's had many experiences seeing demons and stuff..... like pretty bad ones
haloengine7496 [7:37:31 PM]: cool im not alonbe
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:37:42 PM]: its not always about you
haloengine7496 [7:37:55 PM]: meesk
haloengine7496 [7:37:58 PM]: im kidding
haloengine7496 [7:38:02 PM]: sheeeesh
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:38:07 PM]: haha
haloengine7496 [7:38:09 PM]: .,....
haloengine7496 [7:38:14 PM]:
haloengine7496 [7:38:29 PM]: so she saw you as a demon
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:38:46 PM]: i dunno she just said she hadnt been getting good vibes from me lately
haloengine7496 [7:38:56 PM]: ..........
haloengine7496 [7:39:13 PM]: well at least she didnt see you sleep
haloengine7496 [7:40:31 PM]: ..............
haloengine7496 [7:40:36 PM]: what else?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:06 PM]: i dunno... i know i havent been myself... another friend left me a message all with concern and what not
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:17 PM]: i mean i dont know why or how they picked up or thought that i wasnt myself today
haloengine7496 [7:41:27 PM]: well what have you v=been doing as of late?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:47 PM]: uhm... nothing out of the ordinary?
haloengine7496 [7:41:51 PM]: ............
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:56 PM]: except with the whole faith struggle and what not
haloengine7496 [7:42:06 PM]: maube that
haloengine7496 [7:42:31 PM]: ........
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:42:35 PM]: ?
haloengine7496 [7:43:50 PM]: jolkdon
haloengine7496 [7:44:18 PM]: orry i turned on the lights
haloengine7496 [7:44:20 PM]: well
haloengine7496 [7:44:25 PM]: before i have to go .....
haloengine7496 [7:44:32 PM]: God has been telling me to hurry up
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:44:34 PM]: where are you going
haloengine7496 [7:44:38 PM]: home
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:44:49 PM]: why hurry up
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:45:00 PM]: and why the heck does god talk to you more than he did to jesus
haloengine7496 [7:45:07 PM]: no no
haloengine7496 [7:45:10 PM]: not verbaly
haloengine7496 [7:45:19 PM]: the things that ive been seeing and stuff
haloengine7496 [7:45:25 PM]: sorry to put it that way
haloengine7496 [7:45:26 PM]: ......
haloengine7496 [7:45:29 PM]: but yeah
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:45:39 PM]: what if its all in your head..... whatever you're obsessed with you'll see things relating to that
haloengine7496 [7:45:52 PM]: nah im not
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:45:54 PM]: like if you're paranoid and obsessed with end times everything you see will be all suspicious and evil
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:46:00 PM]: then you'll panic
haloengine7496 [7:46:06 PM]: nah im calm
haloengine7496 [7:46:17 PM]: jsut some things are hard not to see
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:46:19 PM]: i'm tired of all this krap.... i'm sick of being in constant terror
haloengine7496 [7:46:25 PM]: dont be
haloengine7496 [7:46:29 PM]: calm down
haloengine7496 [7:46:35 PM]: i cant figure out why you are
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:46:49 PM]: i had to stop myself from being terrified at night by stopping myself from thinking about things of god
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:22 PM]: i've been told many times i hav ea hard time accepting his love and mercy
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:30 PM]: but how can i when i dont even know if i'm even saved or not
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:40 PM]: for all i know i could have been fooling myself this whole time
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:42 PM]: blah blah blah
haloengine7496 [7:47:52 PM]: ..........
haloengine7496 [7:48:16 PM]: im no pro...... but for some reason i dont think you have been
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:48:26 PM]: i havent been saved?
haloengine7496 [7:48:46 PM]: noi
haloengine7496 [7:48:48 PM]: er
haloengine7496 [7:48:49 PM]: no
haloengine7496 [7:48:59 PM]: i mean thinking you arent
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:49:05 PM]: i mean i'm so mistrusting that i wouldnt believe what people said and felt even if they were crying right in front of me.... i can easily say they're lying to me
haloengine7496 [7:49:43 PM]: ....................
haloengine7496 [7:49:45 PM]: hhhh
haloengine7496 [7:49:47 PM]: man
haloengine7496 [7:50:01 PM]: your heart seems hard
haloengine7496 [7:50:31 PM]: ...........
haloengine7496 [7:51:16 PM]: nisha
haloengine7496 [7:52:40 PM]: ......
haloengine7496 [7:52:48 PM]: wish i could talk to you face to face
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:52:56 PM]: what good would that do
haloengine7496 [7:53:10 PM]: ive always prefered face to face rather than chats
haloengine7496 [7:53:23 PM]: but it doesnt matter as lomng as the goal is achieved
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:53:27 PM]: i think just like last semester i've grown cold towards believers
haloengine7496 [7:53:37 PM]: .........
haloengine7496 [7:53:41 PM]: hang in there.....
haloengine7496 [7:53:45 PM]: youre so close
haloengine7496 [7:53:58 PM]: have you beenstudying?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:54:00 PM]: i dont know they always seem to push me here and there with god issues instead of just listening and letting me be
haloengine7496 [7:54:16 PM]: ..........
haloengine7496 [7:54:18 PM]: im here
haloengine7496 [7:54:24 PM]: talk to me about youir issues
haloengine7496 [7:54:26 PM]: please
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:54:40 PM]: but many times seeing believers makes me mad because they seem to be all saved and about god
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:55:20 PM]: it makes me sad thinking why cant god just stop giving me all these stupid doubts and why did god give me a background of a religion that's .... ya know... different and all that other stuff
haloengine7496 [7:55:34 PM]: it seems that todays episoe didnt help either
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:55:41 PM]: churchgoers make me sick sometimes because they CANNOT understand what i'm going through or trying to say...
haloengine7496 [7:56:44 PM]: well as i said....... youire understandable for me.
haloengine7496 [7:56:57 PM]: ive been throuygh the things you have....... except the muslim thing
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:57:25 PM]: and that's my very issue and problem
haloengine7496 [7:57:27 PM]: so what else have you been going through hun?
haloengine7496 [7:57:30 PM]: pleasse?
haloengine7496 [7:57:37 PM]: i wanna help you as much as i can
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:57:45 PM]: stop trying to help me for once
haloengine7496 [7:57:52 PM]: ...............
haloengine7496 [7:57:54 PM]: done
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:58:02 PM]: you wanna try to help me so hard you dont hear what i say
haloengine7496 [7:58:10 PM]: ok
haloengine7496 [7:58:15 PM]: i will shut up
haloengine7496 [7:58:28 PM]: you say talk i will
haloengine7496 [7:58:49 PM]: ok
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:58:57 PM]: so many times i wonder what if i'm wrong
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:07 PM]: what if i end up going to hell or whatever because christianity is wrong
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:21 PM]: what if my family is right
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:25 PM]: blah blah blah
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:53 PM]: and i'm in terror every night thinking about how i could end up dead because i chose to follow something someone forced on me.... and then more people tried to convince me of
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:00:19 PM]: none of you idiots understand the struggle...... how can you, you didnt live like i did
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:00:41 PM]: and on top of that having crazy parents
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:01:16 PM]: i know someone with my same religious background but he's american born and raised and his parents have been in the states for over 30 years..... and they dont even have much of a problem with him being christian
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:01:36 PM]: heck his parents will willingly drop him off to bible colleges to see his friends and what not
haloengine7496 [8:04:17 PM]: ........
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:04:26 PM]: i lost my point
haloengine7496 [8:04:29 PM]: .....
haloengine7496 [8:04:31 PM]: oh
haloengine7496 [8:04:37 PM]: well you made...
haloengine7496 [8:04:40 PM]: one
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:04:48 PM]: what point did i make
haloengine7496 [8:06:04 PM]: are catching hell trying to catch your balance iin something you dont understand, due to it being rushed on you and not fully explained through. ANd those arround you are always professing how great it is,.......... yet no ones, listening to you.
haloengine7496 [8:06:12 PM]: About your struggle ......
haloengine7496 [8:06:28 PM]: to believe
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:07:05 PM]: well i mean i dont know if they really understand because they never give a chance to the possiblity that they're wrong... and they're so rooted and protected in christianity that they automatically think everything else is a lie and their roots are so stuck in it that they cant even think outside it
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:07:25 PM]: and that is precisely why they dont understand nor can they relate in the slightest way to what i have to say
haloengine7496 [8:07:45 PM]: well i can ....
haloengine7496 [8:07:55 PM]: i talk about things that arenr in the bible.
haloengine7496 [8:08:01 PM]: cythia and myself
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:08:07 PM]: the internet isnt in the bible whats your point
haloengine7496 [8:08:12 PM]: .......
haloengine7496 [8:09:11 PM]: nisha what i am saying is that the things we are also struggling with doubts, trials, past guilts. ANd even the super natural, we talk about and speak about even the books that were taken out of the bible.
haloengine7496 [8:09:39 PM]: so youre not alone on that.
haloengine7496 [8:09:41 PM]: say
haloengine7496 [8:09:44 PM]: keep typingf
haloengine7496 [8:09:48 PM]: i will be back.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:09:50 PM]: bu tyou're still rooted in the bible i can clearly see that
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:10:17 PM]: even with all those things you just mentioned
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:10:49 PM]: i guess this is why the world is pissed off at you
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:11:30 PM]: neither well rounded nor open
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:11:32 PM]: ah welll
haloengine7496 [8:12:42 PM]: nope youre wrong
haloengine7496 [8:12:49 PM]: i am openedi am well rounded
haloengine7496 [8:12:57 PM]: i am a blask sheep of christians
haloengine7496 [8:13:04 PM]: because i dont fit in
haloengine7496 [8:13:15 PM]: and i cant, despite ,my best attempts
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:13:18 PM]: you're nowhere as well rounded as you think
haloengine7496 [8:13:24 PM]: ........try me
haloengine7496 [8:13:28 PM]: I dare you
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:13:31 PM]: i dont want to because i already know
haloengine7496 [8:13:35 PM]: ...............
haloengine7496 [8:13:37 PM]: try mr
haloengine7496 [8:13:40 PM]: me
haloengine7496 [8:13:51 PM]: nisha
haloengine7496 [8:13:57 PM]: .......... youre smart as hell
haloengine7496 [8:14:02 PM]: .and i know that
haloengine7496 [8:14:05 PM]: so........ try me
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:14:18 PM]: hah i wish i was smart
haloengine7496 [8:14:22 PM]: .......
haloengine7496 [8:14:27 PM]: you are
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:14:34 PM]: if i was i wouldnt have fallen for all this
haloengine7496 [8:14:35 PM]: youve provcen that over and over
haloengine7496 [8:14:40 PM]: .........
haloengine7496 [8:14:42 PM]: nisha
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:14:55 PM]: if i was smart i'd be a criminal under cover or something
haloengine7496 [8:14:57 PM]: we all do things say things etc we regret
haloengine7496 [8:15:02 PM]: .........
haloengine7496 [8:15:14 PM]: or maybe it isnt what youre meant to do
haloengine7496 [8:15:17 PM]: cause if so.
haloengine7496 [8:15:20 PM]: youd done it.
haloengine7496 [8:15:26 PM]: and wed never met
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:15:46 PM]: what if me hurting you and causing you to commit horrid things was my way of being a criminal
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:15:52 PM]: then yes i've done it
haloengine7496 [8:16:04 PM]: ok
haloengine7496 [8:16:08 PM]: go on
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:16:19 PM]: the rest is history
haloengine7496 [8:16:25 PM]: indeed
haloengine7496 [8:16:34 PM]: yet idont regret meeting you
haloengine7496 [8:16:47 PM]: youve made me more open minded than ive ever been.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:16:57 PM]: and how in the world did i do that
haloengine7496 [8:17:05 PM]: im glad you asked
haloengine7496 [8:17:30 PM]: you for one made me see something not many christains DONTwanna see nor admit......
haloengine7496 [8:17:50 PM]: that theyre wrong, we dont have all the answers, and we can fall as anyone else can
haloengine7496 [8:18:08 PM]: and that I took my faith WAY TOO militantly
haloengine7496 [8:18:15 PM]: whgich was leathal
haloengine7496 [8:18:22 PM]: to others and myself
haloengine7496 [8:18:25 PM]: that was pride
haloengine7496 [8:18:44 PM]: and pride drove me to force what I belived and lived for on you
haloengine7496 [8:18:53 PM]: ANd i do trully repent for that
haloengine7496 [8:19:07 PM]: but the chance now is this.
haloengine7496 [8:19:38 PM]: though youre now exposed to the faith. i can identiufy with what youre going through due to doubt.
haloengine7496 [8:19:43 PM]: i too went through that
haloengine7496 [8:19:54 PM]: " wow, a prayer thats all?"
haloengine7496 [8:19:55 PM]: no
haloengine7496 [8:20:00 PM]: i was wrong....
haloengine7496 [8:20:06 PM]: thats ONLY the beginning
haloengine7496 [8:20:15 PM]: its a lifestyle
haloengine7496 [8:20:37 PM]: NOT JUST going to church know when to sing, cry, clap, etc.
haloengine7496 [8:20:52 PM]: its something you choooooooose tod do.
haloengine7496 [8:21:12 PM]: not something you are demanded to do.nore forced on to do.
haloengine7496 [8:21:38 PM]: when you open your heart to dare to believe,..... in someone youve never seen, heard, touched etc.
haloengine7496 [8:21:56 PM]: thats your first step and He will meet you half way.
haloengine7496 [8:22:03 PM]: you see your doubt.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:10 PM]: sometimes i wish christians could live in a different culture
haloengine7496 [8:22:27 PM]: as in a ways of doing things?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:32 PM]: here its so easy to accept god's love.... in a deprived ridiculous and self centered culture its easy to witness by "being nice and loving"
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:51 PM]: when in other cultures its expected
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:58 PM]: and therefore..... IT DOESNT WORK AS A WITNESS
haloengine7496 [8:23:08 PM]: mm i know
haloengine7496 [8:23:13 PM]: but soon that will change.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:23:24 PM]: or in some cultures some methods to cause less sinning.... like lower your gaze when you see a woman so tha tyou dont lust after her
haloengine7496 [8:23:39 PM]: I remember some of those.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:23:53 PM]: if our culture started doing that most people would be pissed
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:24:01 PM]: cuz that's how we find our "mates"
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:24:06 PM]: we find someone who makes us drool
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:24:19 PM]: and we mistake attraction and drooling for love
haloengine7496 [8:24:29 PM]: true
haloengine7496 [8:24:32 PM]: youre so so right
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:25:08 PM]: guys are too afraid to be caught in the "friends zone" that they hurry and get in a relationship before they become good friends
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:25:23 PM]: i believe the opposite......
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:25:37 PM]: the people i would date would be one of my closest friends.... not some guy i dont know
haloengine7496 [8:25:48 PM]: mm
haloengine7496 [8:25:58 PM]: thats now what i believe thanks to you
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:26:13 PM]: what did you believe before? the fear of the friend zone?
haloengine7496 [8:26:21 PM]: LOL nah....
haloengine7496 [8:26:28 PM]: more like the dddddrrrrrrrrrrrooooooool effect
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:26:34 PM]: you're a guy
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:26:40 PM]: i dont expect any better
haloengine7496 [8:26:43 PM]: no nisha
haloengine7496 [8:26:52 PM]: youre missing my point
haloengine7496 [8:27:31 PM]: when youre, in christ thething we do is to befriend, court then if so be it.... marry.
haloengine7496 [8:28:27 PM]: you showed me that friendship prior to the drool effect , which is triggered by , knowing the person, understanding them, and compatibility is the key ....... along with faith.
haloengine7496 [8:28:33 PM]: thats what you taught me.
haloengine7496 [8:28:48 PM]: that i only learned after you cut me in half with that on line speech.
haloengine7496 [8:28:59 PM]: which gave me my first EVER liberation.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:29:00 PM]: what speech
haloengine7496 [8:29:03 PM]: WOW......
haloengine7496 [8:29:12 PM]: i rememebr it like it was 2 mins ago.
haloengine7496 [8:30:02 PM]: you taught me out of care ( which is the true you ) that what i was doing was wrong. and the methjods and the approaches were also rong. Militancy and care dontg mix.
haloengine7496 [8:30:17 PM]: which was a root of pride and the " i am right youre wrong " syndrome.
haloengine7496 [8:30:41 PM]: and ever since then I have been VERY careful on my approaches
haloengine7496 [8:30:52 PM]: and to look at the other persons stand point
haloengine7496 [8:31:00 PM]: ok she/ he are new to this.
haloengine7496 [8:31:11 PM]: actions speak faster and loudr than words.
haloengine7496 [8:31:15 PM]: and are better remembered.
haloengine7496 [8:31:32 PM]: not bashing , forcing, intimidation. etc.
haloengine7496 [8:31:41 PM]: nore boasting.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:31:46 PM]: you might as well be a terrorist
haloengine7496 [8:31:53 PM]: indeed
haloengine7496 [8:32:01 PM]: what i was taught and showing was wrong.
haloengine7496 [8:32:07 PM]: now....... im different.
haloengine7496 [8:32:13 PM]: but..................
haloengine7496 [8:32:18 PM]: ive damaged you.
haloengine7496 [8:32:35 PM]: what could i possibly do or say to repair this......
haloengine7496 [8:32:42 PM]: someone tell me that and i will do it
haloengine7496 [8:33:27 PM]: but ..... all i can dpo.... is see what youre going through ALOT clearer now
haloengine7496 [8:33:52 PM]: and well......... pray for your deliverance outta this...... cloud of doubt.
haloengine7496 [8:34:21 PM]: because i believe youre so so close to understanding and come outta this just fine.
haloengine7496 [8:34:28 PM]: but people arent relating to you .....
haloengine7496 [8:34:36 PM]: and well todays drama didnt help
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:35:06 PM]: what drama? the one with my friend? na it didnt offend me
haloengine7496 [8:35:15 PM]: ok
haloengine7496 [8:35:17 PM]: good
haloengine7496 [8:35:29 PM]: thank you for letting me in....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:35:39 PM]: i know they're not used to me being anything other than happy and calm and all that good stuff
haloengine7496 [8:36:22 PM]: nisha we all have those times
haloengine7496 [8:36:25 PM]: all of us
haloengine7496 [8:36:31 PM]: so.....
haloengine7496 [8:36:39 PM]: nah.....dont sweat it
haloengine7496 [8:37:41 PM]: how are you?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:37:47 PM]: i dunno
haloengine7496 [8:38:18 PM]: i know ya well ....... when youre not talking youre either gathering thoughts to say..... distratcted ..... or simmering.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:38:42 PM]: i guess
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:38:44 PM]: yea
haloengine7496 [8:39:07 PM]: m
haloengine7496 [8:39:15 PM]: nisha...... im sorry. ok?
haloengine7496 [8:39:25 PM]: I dont mean to be a savior. so to speak
haloengine7496 [8:39:34 PM]: and yes i do over do it and step outta my zone.
haloengine7496 [8:39:41 PM]: but..... i care ok?
haloengine7496 [8:39:51 PM]: im sorry for haveing a big heart
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:39:53 PM]: i think you need to put emotions out of what you do
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:01 PM]: you see how they get in the way.... a lot
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:08 PM]: use knowledge and facts.... not emotion
haloengine7496 [8:40:13 PM]: ......
haloengine7496 [8:40:14 PM]: ok
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:18 PM]: emotioins come and go... facts stay
haloengine7496 [8:40:38 PM]: hm..... no wonder i loved you. youre so smart....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:47 PM]: i just think
haloengine7496 [8:40:59 PM]: true
haloengine7496 [8:41:05 PM]: very true
haloengine7496 [8:41:27 PM]: hm.... no wonder you could put me in my place so well.
haloengine7496 [8:41:34 PM]: people were like........ "her?"
haloengine7496 [8:41:42 PM]: im like yes ....her
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:41:52 PM]: its not cuz i'm smart or anything
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:41:55 PM]: its cuz you're stupid
haloengine7496 [8:42:01 PM]: hhh.
haloengine7496 [8:42:11 PM]: more of that relentless paki humour
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:42:19 PM]: not humor
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:42:20 PM]: truth
haloengine7496 [8:42:26 PM]: ooooo
blah blah blah blah...
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:12 PM]: so how's it giong
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:15 PM]: going
haloengine7496 [7:33:24 PM]: im well yiu?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:34 PM]: blah i dunno
haloengine7496 [7:33:40 PM]: ?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:33:45 PM]: apparently today my friends have said that i havent been myself
haloengine7496 [7:34:16 PM]: ??????????
haloengine7496 [7:34:19 PM]: why?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:34:48 PM]: i..... dont.... know.....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:35:02 PM]: kim was pretty freaked out she was running away from me.....
haloengine7496 [7:35:11 PM]: ??????????????
haloengine7496 [7:35:18 PM]: explain hun....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:35:37 PM]: i dunno i had just woken up and was going somewhere and ran into kim and a few others
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:35:50 PM]: she came to talk to me asked if i was ok i said i ihad just woken up
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:36:03 PM]: but she was still freaked out and was like oh my goodness are you ok you're freaking me out
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:36:13 PM]: she said she was getting bad vibes
haloengine7496 [7:36:30 PM]: ....................
haloengine7496 [7:36:31 PM]: mmmmmm
haloengine7496 [7:36:40 PM]: is she gifyed?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:37:03 PM]: then she was like tell me you love me (she always says that) and i made a cheery face and said it cheerfully and she RAN from me screaming SHE HATES ME YOU HATE ME
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:37:15 PM]: yea she's had many experiences seeing demons and stuff..... like pretty bad ones
haloengine7496 [7:37:31 PM]: cool im not alonbe
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:37:42 PM]: its not always about you
haloengine7496 [7:37:55 PM]: meesk
haloengine7496 [7:37:58 PM]: im kidding
haloengine7496 [7:38:02 PM]: sheeeesh
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:38:07 PM]: haha
haloengine7496 [7:38:09 PM]: .,....
haloengine7496 [7:38:14 PM]:
haloengine7496 [7:38:29 PM]: so she saw you as a demon
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:38:46 PM]: i dunno she just said she hadnt been getting good vibes from me lately
haloengine7496 [7:38:56 PM]: ..........
haloengine7496 [7:39:13 PM]: well at least she didnt see you sleep
haloengine7496 [7:40:31 PM]: ..............
haloengine7496 [7:40:36 PM]: what else?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:06 PM]: i dunno... i know i havent been myself... another friend left me a message all with concern and what not
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:17 PM]: i mean i dont know why or how they picked up or thought that i wasnt myself today
haloengine7496 [7:41:27 PM]: well what have you v=been doing as of late?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:47 PM]: uhm... nothing out of the ordinary?
haloengine7496 [7:41:51 PM]: ............
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:41:56 PM]: except with the whole faith struggle and what not
haloengine7496 [7:42:06 PM]: maube that
haloengine7496 [7:42:31 PM]: ........
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:42:35 PM]: ?
haloengine7496 [7:43:50 PM]: jolkdon
haloengine7496 [7:44:18 PM]: orry i turned on the lights
haloengine7496 [7:44:20 PM]: well
haloengine7496 [7:44:25 PM]: before i have to go .....
haloengine7496 [7:44:32 PM]: God has been telling me to hurry up
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:44:34 PM]: where are you going
haloengine7496 [7:44:38 PM]: home
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:44:49 PM]: why hurry up
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:45:00 PM]: and why the heck does god talk to you more than he did to jesus
haloengine7496 [7:45:07 PM]: no no
haloengine7496 [7:45:10 PM]: not verbaly
haloengine7496 [7:45:19 PM]: the things that ive been seeing and stuff
haloengine7496 [7:45:25 PM]: sorry to put it that way
haloengine7496 [7:45:26 PM]: ......
haloengine7496 [7:45:29 PM]: but yeah
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:45:39 PM]: what if its all in your head..... whatever you're obsessed with you'll see things relating to that
haloengine7496 [7:45:52 PM]: nah im not
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:45:54 PM]: like if you're paranoid and obsessed with end times everything you see will be all suspicious and evil
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:46:00 PM]: then you'll panic
haloengine7496 [7:46:06 PM]: nah im calm
haloengine7496 [7:46:17 PM]: jsut some things are hard not to see
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:46:19 PM]: i'm tired of all this krap.... i'm sick of being in constant terror
haloengine7496 [7:46:25 PM]: dont be
haloengine7496 [7:46:29 PM]: calm down
haloengine7496 [7:46:35 PM]: i cant figure out why you are
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:46:49 PM]: i had to stop myself from being terrified at night by stopping myself from thinking about things of god
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:22 PM]: i've been told many times i hav ea hard time accepting his love and mercy
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:30 PM]: but how can i when i dont even know if i'm even saved or not
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:40 PM]: for all i know i could have been fooling myself this whole time
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:47:42 PM]: blah blah blah
haloengine7496 [7:47:52 PM]: ..........
haloengine7496 [7:48:16 PM]: im no pro...... but for some reason i dont think you have been
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:48:26 PM]: i havent been saved?
haloengine7496 [7:48:46 PM]: noi
haloengine7496 [7:48:48 PM]: er
haloengine7496 [7:48:49 PM]: no
haloengine7496 [7:48:59 PM]: i mean thinking you arent
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:49:05 PM]: i mean i'm so mistrusting that i wouldnt believe what people said and felt even if they were crying right in front of me.... i can easily say they're lying to me
haloengine7496 [7:49:43 PM]: ....................
haloengine7496 [7:49:45 PM]: hhhh
haloengine7496 [7:49:47 PM]: man
haloengine7496 [7:50:01 PM]: your heart seems hard
haloengine7496 [7:50:31 PM]: ...........
haloengine7496 [7:51:16 PM]: nisha
haloengine7496 [7:52:40 PM]: ......
haloengine7496 [7:52:48 PM]: wish i could talk to you face to face
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:52:56 PM]: what good would that do
haloengine7496 [7:53:10 PM]: ive always prefered face to face rather than chats
haloengine7496 [7:53:23 PM]: but it doesnt matter as lomng as the goal is achieved
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:53:27 PM]: i think just like last semester i've grown cold towards believers
haloengine7496 [7:53:37 PM]: .........
haloengine7496 [7:53:41 PM]: hang in there.....
haloengine7496 [7:53:45 PM]: youre so close
haloengine7496 [7:53:58 PM]: have you beenstudying?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:54:00 PM]: i dont know they always seem to push me here and there with god issues instead of just listening and letting me be
haloengine7496 [7:54:16 PM]: ..........
haloengine7496 [7:54:18 PM]: im here
haloengine7496 [7:54:24 PM]: talk to me about youir issues
haloengine7496 [7:54:26 PM]: please
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:54:40 PM]: but many times seeing believers makes me mad because they seem to be all saved and about god
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:55:20 PM]: it makes me sad thinking why cant god just stop giving me all these stupid doubts and why did god give me a background of a religion that's .... ya know... different and all that other stuff
haloengine7496 [7:55:34 PM]: it seems that todays episoe didnt help either
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:55:41 PM]: churchgoers make me sick sometimes because they CANNOT understand what i'm going through or trying to say...
haloengine7496 [7:56:44 PM]: well as i said....... youire understandable for me.
haloengine7496 [7:56:57 PM]: ive been throuygh the things you have....... except the muslim thing
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:57:25 PM]: and that's my very issue and problem
haloengine7496 [7:57:27 PM]: so what else have you been going through hun?
haloengine7496 [7:57:30 PM]: pleasse?
haloengine7496 [7:57:37 PM]: i wanna help you as much as i can
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:57:45 PM]: stop trying to help me for once
haloengine7496 [7:57:52 PM]: ...............
haloengine7496 [7:57:54 PM]: done
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:58:02 PM]: you wanna try to help me so hard you dont hear what i say
haloengine7496 [7:58:10 PM]: ok
haloengine7496 [7:58:15 PM]: i will shut up
haloengine7496 [7:58:28 PM]: you say talk i will
haloengine7496 [7:58:49 PM]: ok
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:58:57 PM]: so many times i wonder what if i'm wrong
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:07 PM]: what if i end up going to hell or whatever because christianity is wrong
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:21 PM]: what if my family is right
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:25 PM]: blah blah blah
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [7:59:53 PM]: and i'm in terror every night thinking about how i could end up dead because i chose to follow something someone forced on me.... and then more people tried to convince me of
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:00:19 PM]: none of you idiots understand the struggle...... how can you, you didnt live like i did
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:00:41 PM]: and on top of that having crazy parents
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:01:16 PM]: i know someone with my same religious background but he's american born and raised and his parents have been in the states for over 30 years..... and they dont even have much of a problem with him being christian
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:01:36 PM]: heck his parents will willingly drop him off to bible colleges to see his friends and what not
haloengine7496 [8:04:17 PM]: ........
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:04:26 PM]: i lost my point
haloengine7496 [8:04:29 PM]: .....
haloengine7496 [8:04:31 PM]: oh
haloengine7496 [8:04:37 PM]: well you made...
haloengine7496 [8:04:40 PM]: one
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:04:48 PM]: what point did i make
haloengine7496 [8:06:04 PM]: are catching hell trying to catch your balance iin something you dont understand, due to it being rushed on you and not fully explained through. ANd those arround you are always professing how great it is,.......... yet no ones, listening to you.
haloengine7496 [8:06:12 PM]: About your struggle ......
haloengine7496 [8:06:28 PM]: to believe
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:07:05 PM]: well i mean i dont know if they really understand because they never give a chance to the possiblity that they're wrong... and they're so rooted and protected in christianity that they automatically think everything else is a lie and their roots are so stuck in it that they cant even think outside it
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:07:25 PM]: and that is precisely why they dont understand nor can they relate in the slightest way to what i have to say
haloengine7496 [8:07:45 PM]: well i can ....
haloengine7496 [8:07:55 PM]: i talk about things that arenr in the bible.
haloengine7496 [8:08:01 PM]: cythia and myself
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:08:07 PM]: the internet isnt in the bible whats your point
haloengine7496 [8:08:12 PM]: .......
haloengine7496 [8:09:11 PM]: nisha what i am saying is that the things we are also struggling with doubts, trials, past guilts. ANd even the super natural, we talk about and speak about even the books that were taken out of the bible.
haloengine7496 [8:09:39 PM]: so youre not alone on that.
haloengine7496 [8:09:41 PM]: say
haloengine7496 [8:09:44 PM]: keep typingf
haloengine7496 [8:09:48 PM]: i will be back.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:09:50 PM]: bu tyou're still rooted in the bible i can clearly see that
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:10:17 PM]: even with all those things you just mentioned
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:10:49 PM]: i guess this is why the world is pissed off at you
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:11:30 PM]: neither well rounded nor open
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:11:32 PM]: ah welll
haloengine7496 [8:12:42 PM]: nope youre wrong
haloengine7496 [8:12:49 PM]: i am openedi am well rounded
haloengine7496 [8:12:57 PM]: i am a blask sheep of christians
haloengine7496 [8:13:04 PM]: because i dont fit in
haloengine7496 [8:13:15 PM]: and i cant, despite ,my best attempts
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:13:18 PM]: you're nowhere as well rounded as you think
haloengine7496 [8:13:24 PM]: ........try me
haloengine7496 [8:13:28 PM]: I dare you
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:13:31 PM]: i dont want to because i already know
haloengine7496 [8:13:35 PM]: ...............
haloengine7496 [8:13:37 PM]: try mr
haloengine7496 [8:13:40 PM]: me
haloengine7496 [8:13:51 PM]: nisha
haloengine7496 [8:13:57 PM]: .......... youre smart as hell
haloengine7496 [8:14:02 PM]: .and i know that
haloengine7496 [8:14:05 PM]: so........ try me
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:14:18 PM]: hah i wish i was smart
haloengine7496 [8:14:22 PM]: .......
haloengine7496 [8:14:27 PM]: you are
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:14:34 PM]: if i was i wouldnt have fallen for all this
haloengine7496 [8:14:35 PM]: youve provcen that over and over
haloengine7496 [8:14:40 PM]: .........
haloengine7496 [8:14:42 PM]: nisha
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:14:55 PM]: if i was smart i'd be a criminal under cover or something
haloengine7496 [8:14:57 PM]: we all do things say things etc we regret
haloengine7496 [8:15:02 PM]: .........
haloengine7496 [8:15:14 PM]: or maybe it isnt what youre meant to do
haloengine7496 [8:15:17 PM]: cause if so.
haloengine7496 [8:15:20 PM]: youd done it.
haloengine7496 [8:15:26 PM]: and wed never met
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:15:46 PM]: what if me hurting you and causing you to commit horrid things was my way of being a criminal
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:15:52 PM]: then yes i've done it
haloengine7496 [8:16:04 PM]: ok
haloengine7496 [8:16:08 PM]: go on
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:16:19 PM]: the rest is history
haloengine7496 [8:16:25 PM]: indeed
haloengine7496 [8:16:34 PM]: yet idont regret meeting you
haloengine7496 [8:16:47 PM]: youve made me more open minded than ive ever been.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:16:57 PM]: and how in the world did i do that
haloengine7496 [8:17:05 PM]: im glad you asked
haloengine7496 [8:17:30 PM]: you for one made me see something not many christains DONTwanna see nor admit......
haloengine7496 [8:17:50 PM]: that theyre wrong, we dont have all the answers, and we can fall as anyone else can
haloengine7496 [8:18:08 PM]: and that I took my faith WAY TOO militantly
haloengine7496 [8:18:15 PM]: whgich was leathal
haloengine7496 [8:18:22 PM]: to others and myself
haloengine7496 [8:18:25 PM]: that was pride
haloengine7496 [8:18:44 PM]: and pride drove me to force what I belived and lived for on you
haloengine7496 [8:18:53 PM]: ANd i do trully repent for that
haloengine7496 [8:19:07 PM]: but the chance now is this.
haloengine7496 [8:19:38 PM]: though youre now exposed to the faith. i can identiufy with what youre going through due to doubt.
haloengine7496 [8:19:43 PM]: i too went through that
haloengine7496 [8:19:54 PM]: " wow, a prayer thats all?"
haloengine7496 [8:19:55 PM]: no
haloengine7496 [8:20:00 PM]: i was wrong....
haloengine7496 [8:20:06 PM]: thats ONLY the beginning
haloengine7496 [8:20:15 PM]: its a lifestyle
haloengine7496 [8:20:37 PM]: NOT JUST going to church know when to sing, cry, clap, etc.
haloengine7496 [8:20:52 PM]: its something you choooooooose tod do.
haloengine7496 [8:21:12 PM]: not something you are demanded to do.nore forced on to do.
haloengine7496 [8:21:38 PM]: when you open your heart to dare to believe,..... in someone youve never seen, heard, touched etc.
haloengine7496 [8:21:56 PM]: thats your first step and He will meet you half way.
haloengine7496 [8:22:03 PM]: you see your doubt.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:10 PM]: sometimes i wish christians could live in a different culture
haloengine7496 [8:22:27 PM]: as in a ways of doing things?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:32 PM]: here its so easy to accept god's love.... in a deprived ridiculous and self centered culture its easy to witness by "being nice and loving"
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:51 PM]: when in other cultures its expected
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:22:58 PM]: and therefore..... IT DOESNT WORK AS A WITNESS
haloengine7496 [8:23:08 PM]: mm i know
haloengine7496 [8:23:13 PM]: but soon that will change.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:23:24 PM]: or in some cultures some methods to cause less sinning.... like lower your gaze when you see a woman so tha tyou dont lust after her
haloengine7496 [8:23:39 PM]: I remember some of those.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:23:53 PM]: if our culture started doing that most people would be pissed
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:24:01 PM]: cuz that's how we find our "mates"
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:24:06 PM]: we find someone who makes us drool
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:24:19 PM]: and we mistake attraction and drooling for love
haloengine7496 [8:24:29 PM]: true
haloengine7496 [8:24:32 PM]: youre so so right
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:25:08 PM]: guys are too afraid to be caught in the "friends zone" that they hurry and get in a relationship before they become good friends
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:25:23 PM]: i believe the opposite......
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:25:37 PM]: the people i would date would be one of my closest friends.... not some guy i dont know
haloengine7496 [8:25:48 PM]: mm
haloengine7496 [8:25:58 PM]: thats now what i believe thanks to you
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:26:13 PM]: what did you believe before? the fear of the friend zone?
haloengine7496 [8:26:21 PM]: LOL nah....
haloengine7496 [8:26:28 PM]: more like the dddddrrrrrrrrrrrooooooool effect
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:26:34 PM]: you're a guy
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:26:40 PM]: i dont expect any better
haloengine7496 [8:26:43 PM]: no nisha
haloengine7496 [8:26:52 PM]: youre missing my point
haloengine7496 [8:27:31 PM]: when youre, in christ thething we do is to befriend, court then if so be it.... marry.
haloengine7496 [8:28:27 PM]: you showed me that friendship prior to the drool effect , which is triggered by , knowing the person, understanding them, and compatibility is the key ....... along with faith.
haloengine7496 [8:28:33 PM]: thats what you taught me.
haloengine7496 [8:28:48 PM]: that i only learned after you cut me in half with that on line speech.
haloengine7496 [8:28:59 PM]: which gave me my first EVER liberation.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:29:00 PM]: what speech
haloengine7496 [8:29:03 PM]: WOW......
haloengine7496 [8:29:12 PM]: i rememebr it like it was 2 mins ago.
haloengine7496 [8:30:02 PM]: you taught me out of care ( which is the true you ) that what i was doing was wrong. and the methjods and the approaches were also rong. Militancy and care dontg mix.
haloengine7496 [8:30:17 PM]: which was a root of pride and the " i am right youre wrong " syndrome.
haloengine7496 [8:30:41 PM]: and ever since then I have been VERY careful on my approaches
haloengine7496 [8:30:52 PM]: and to look at the other persons stand point
haloengine7496 [8:31:00 PM]: ok she/ he are new to this.
haloengine7496 [8:31:11 PM]: actions speak faster and loudr than words.
haloengine7496 [8:31:15 PM]: and are better remembered.
haloengine7496 [8:31:32 PM]: not bashing , forcing, intimidation. etc.
haloengine7496 [8:31:41 PM]: nore boasting.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:31:46 PM]: you might as well be a terrorist
haloengine7496 [8:31:53 PM]: indeed
haloengine7496 [8:32:01 PM]: what i was taught and showing was wrong.
haloengine7496 [8:32:07 PM]: now....... im different.
haloengine7496 [8:32:13 PM]: but..................
haloengine7496 [8:32:18 PM]: ive damaged you.
haloengine7496 [8:32:35 PM]: what could i possibly do or say to repair this......
haloengine7496 [8:32:42 PM]: someone tell me that and i will do it
haloengine7496 [8:33:27 PM]: but ..... all i can dpo.... is see what youre going through ALOT clearer now
haloengine7496 [8:33:52 PM]: and well......... pray for your deliverance outta this...... cloud of doubt.
haloengine7496 [8:34:21 PM]: because i believe youre so so close to understanding and come outta this just fine.
haloengine7496 [8:34:28 PM]: but people arent relating to you .....
haloengine7496 [8:34:36 PM]: and well todays drama didnt help
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:35:06 PM]: what drama? the one with my friend? na it didnt offend me
haloengine7496 [8:35:15 PM]: ok
haloengine7496 [8:35:17 PM]: good
haloengine7496 [8:35:29 PM]: thank you for letting me in....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:35:39 PM]: i know they're not used to me being anything other than happy and calm and all that good stuff
haloengine7496 [8:36:22 PM]: nisha we all have those times
haloengine7496 [8:36:25 PM]: all of us
haloengine7496 [8:36:31 PM]: so.....
haloengine7496 [8:36:39 PM]: nah.....dont sweat it
haloengine7496 [8:37:41 PM]: how are you?
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:37:47 PM]: i dunno
haloengine7496 [8:38:18 PM]: i know ya well ....... when youre not talking youre either gathering thoughts to say..... distratcted ..... or simmering.
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:38:42 PM]: i guess
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:38:44 PM]: yea
haloengine7496 [8:39:07 PM]: m
haloengine7496 [8:39:15 PM]: nisha...... im sorry. ok?
haloengine7496 [8:39:25 PM]: I dont mean to be a savior. so to speak
haloengine7496 [8:39:34 PM]: and yes i do over do it and step outta my zone.
haloengine7496 [8:39:41 PM]: but..... i care ok?
haloengine7496 [8:39:51 PM]: im sorry for haveing a big heart
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:39:53 PM]: i think you need to put emotions out of what you do
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:01 PM]: you see how they get in the way.... a lot
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:08 PM]: use knowledge and facts.... not emotion
haloengine7496 [8:40:13 PM]: ......
haloengine7496 [8:40:14 PM]: ok
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:18 PM]: emotioins come and go... facts stay
haloengine7496 [8:40:38 PM]: hm..... no wonder i loved you. youre so smart....
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:40:47 PM]: i just think
haloengine7496 [8:40:59 PM]: true
haloengine7496 [8:41:05 PM]: very true
haloengine7496 [8:41:27 PM]: hm.... no wonder you could put me in my place so well.
haloengine7496 [8:41:34 PM]: people were like........ "her?"
haloengine7496 [8:41:42 PM]: im like yes ....her
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:41:52 PM]: its not cuz i'm smart or anything
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:41:55 PM]: its cuz you're stupid
haloengine7496 [8:42:01 PM]: hhh.
haloengine7496 [8:42:11 PM]: more of that relentless paki humour
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:42:19 PM]: not humor
professionalmurdermusicfan1 [8:42:20 PM]: truth
haloengine7496 [8:42:26 PM]: ooooo
blah blah blah blah...