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Jonjo Claus is coming to town
Hello humans of the north ( Read more... ) -
Questions to ponder
1. Is it possible to hit yourself with your own rhythm stick?
2. Why do turds suddenly appear every time I am near?
3. What is the difference between a turbo-plier and an ordinary plier?
4. Why them?
5. Why are there always pies left? Didn't someone eat them all?
6. Will Mr Ed ever be remade?
7. How many mickles precisely make a muckle?
8. Why has the ( Read more... ) -
Sir Jimmy Savile: a revised assessment
It seems I must withdraw my praise for Jim,
Who fixed it, it transpires, on Top o' t' Pops,
For girls to take his member 'twixt his chops,
Or otherwise bestir his "special limb".
It turns out now that this behaviour's wrong:
Where once 'twas fine to roughly take young girls,
Whilst holding them by pigtails, plaits, or curls,
These days that's not a place ( Read more... ) -
Light verse
I.
On treeless heath, in sylvan grove,
On wind-swept hillside, in sheltered cove,
On planes which flew, in subs which dove,
On trains you took, in cars you drove,
From dismal Hexham to sun-drenched Hove,
The self-same cry rings out: By Jove!
There's such a man as Michael Gove!
II.
Pardon me for being so rude:
It was not me; it was some dude.
He just popped up ( Read more... ) -
Barming on together
So, I'll be in Leeds from Friday night until Monday afternoon. If anyone wishes to meet for shits, giggles, or shitty giggles, then let me know. -
Gems from "The Gospelles of Dystaues", 1510
For certayne & for also true as the gospell whan a man lyeth with his wife, or wt his loue hauynge his fete foule and stynkynge, & it happen that he engendre a sone, he shall haue an euyll & a stynkynge breathe, & yf it be a doughter she shall haue it stynkynge behind.
Who that absteyneth hym from wypynge of his ars wt leues or other grene thynge ( Read more... ) -
Sonnet on Peter Galey taking charge of Yelag House
No more the pictures of Our Lord accusing ( Read more... ) -
Spam
This is quite an exciting one, actually ( Read more... )