New: "Oh, Heavens" Gen
Title: "Oh, Heavens!"
Author: candygramme
Beta: Not so much!
Cast of thousands, featuring Castiel, Sam, Dean and assorted riff-raff
Artist: just_ruth
Wordage: 1066, which coincidentally happens to be the date of the Battle of Hastings. It must be a plot!
Summary: Castiel is being even more weird than usual:
It was spring at the Batcave. The weather was great
And the animals out there had started to mate
The flowers were blooming alongside the road
Sam was eating a salad; Dean, pie a la mode
They were happy and rested, no demons to battle
And vampires in those parts were just eating cattle
But it seemed Castiel was incredibly moody
And Sam said to Dean, "do you think that he's broody?"
For the angel was acting in manners most odd
collecting collections of sticks, leaves and sod
and arranging them nicely quite close to their door
while the brothers both wondered just what it was for.
They decided to ask him about the big mess
So they took an arm each and they made him confess
Just what he was doing with all of the junk
He was piling in stacks as if building a bunk.
"Can't you tell, Sam and Dean? Can't you tell, Dean and Sam?
I am building a nest. I'm constructing, I am
I've consulted the birds; I've consulted the bees
and they tell me my nest should go up in some trees.
But I'll keep it down here where it's safe from the storm
And the shelter you give it will keep my nest warm."
"We should help, I suppose, if you're building a nest,"
Murmured Dean, who, though smirking, seemed really impressed.
"We will weave all the twigs tight together with grass,
and we'll line it with moss so it's soft on your ass."
"And I'll find you a tarp," announced Sam with a smile
"Cos if you lay an egg, you'll be there for a while,
and it's likely to rain, so your egg would get wet,
We will help you protect it, so never you fret."
Cas gazed at them both with expressions of gratitude
and offered them blessings and more - a beatitude.
He offered his thanks as they finished his nest
Then he clambered inside it and took off his vest
Gave a sigh and a groan and delivered an egg
with a wince and a shuddering flail of his leg.
Sam and Dean were astonished. They just hadn't known
that an angel laid eggs, but now they'd been shown
And Cas settled his wings and sat down with his egg,
As he cuddled it close they could both see it shine,
It was pearly and green, and Cas mumbled, "It's mine.
I must now take my rest, so for quiet I'll beg,
but I'll see you tomorrow, please bring me some candy,
and if you can find it, some fine liqueur brandy
I must build up my strength, for my grace it might fade
while I sit here immobile down here in the shade."
When the boys heard his words they fell into a panic
and headed off running in manner quite manic
To gather the things that would help to sustain
their guardian angel and ease all his pain.
They brought him some chocolate and gummies and things
and an ivory hairbrush for grooming his wings.
They found him some brandy and all kinds of booze
And Cas drank it all down - he had nothing to lose.
Then the word got around he was nesting and so
people started to visit, a bunch in a row
Crowley came with his minions to point and to mock
And Garth brought Mr. Fizzles, that wily old sock.
Death brought some sushi Cas ate with a smile
Jo and Ellen brought diapers, a really huge pile.
Bobby knitted a onesie and sheepishly gave it.
The hellhounds went for it, and Dean had to save it.
And Castiel kept sitting there to keep his egg warm
watching over it fondly through rain, hail and storm
So through the late summer and into the fall
Castiel sat, immobile, did not leave at all
Winter came with brisk winds and a terrible frost
But the angel still sat there, whatever the cost.
Then the sun started backwards to warm up the land
Cas remained with his egg, which he'd covered with sand.
As the weather got warmer, in fact became hot
He peeled off his trenchcoat - you don't see that a lot.
Til the middle of summer he started to cackle
as Sam and Dean listened they heard that shell crackle
"I'll go boil some water," said Dean with a yell
"Oh, don't worry," said Crowley, "I've brought some from Hell!"
"I had better fetch towels, " croaked Sam in a fright
Then they ran round in circles in terrible plight
For the egg now was hatching, indeed it was time
And a cherub erupted all covered in slime
But they caught it, and washed it and polished its skin
Then Dean diapered that cherub with a big safety pin
Sam stood by looking helpless - he didn't know babies
But Cas smiled in approval. "He doesn't have rabies.
I'll teach him to sing in the heavenly chorus
And when he starts singing, his song will be for us."
Crowley smirked as he summoned his minions to leave.
"It has been fascinating I'll have you believe.
I feel quite avuncular, not sure quite why
And I'm quite looking forward to seeing it fly.
But what will you call him? the kid needs a name.
And who is his daddy? Who can we blame?"
Then Garth said quite softly, "His father is God."
Crowley laughed in derision. "That randy old sod!"
But then Gabriel, late to the party, had heard
And he banished the demon to realms quite absurd.
"It'll take him a while to get back here from there,"
he said. "Tell me at once now, does anyone care?"
Nobody did, and a party began
Attended by angels, by demons and man.
Such a party it was! And they all drank a lot.
Then Dean sang karaoke 'til Sam fired a shot
And the angels all threatened to silence poor Dean
While the demons described to him things quite obscene
And Dean had the last word as he fled from the crowd
"Cas was bound and determined. He made me quite proud.
I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
That angel was faithful, one hundred per cent!"
But all good things must end, and so must this tale
So please give me your feedback - I'll read it in jail!
Author: candygramme
Beta: Not so much!
Cast of thousands, featuring Castiel, Sam, Dean and assorted riff-raff
Artist: just_ruth
Wordage: 1066, which coincidentally happens to be the date of the Battle of Hastings. It must be a plot!
Summary: Castiel is being even more weird than usual:
It was spring at the Batcave. The weather was great
And the animals out there had started to mate
The flowers were blooming alongside the road
Sam was eating a salad; Dean, pie a la mode
They were happy and rested, no demons to battle
And vampires in those parts were just eating cattle
But it seemed Castiel was incredibly moody
And Sam said to Dean, "do you think that he's broody?"
For the angel was acting in manners most odd
collecting collections of sticks, leaves and sod
and arranging them nicely quite close to their door
while the brothers both wondered just what it was for.
They decided to ask him about the big mess
So they took an arm each and they made him confess
Just what he was doing with all of the junk
He was piling in stacks as if building a bunk.
"Can't you tell, Sam and Dean? Can't you tell, Dean and Sam?
I am building a nest. I'm constructing, I am
I've consulted the birds; I've consulted the bees
and they tell me my nest should go up in some trees.
But I'll keep it down here where it's safe from the storm
And the shelter you give it will keep my nest warm."
"We should help, I suppose, if you're building a nest,"
Murmured Dean, who, though smirking, seemed really impressed.
"We will weave all the twigs tight together with grass,
and we'll line it with moss so it's soft on your ass."
"And I'll find you a tarp," announced Sam with a smile
"Cos if you lay an egg, you'll be there for a while,
and it's likely to rain, so your egg would get wet,
We will help you protect it, so never you fret."
Cas gazed at them both with expressions of gratitude
and offered them blessings and more - a beatitude.
He offered his thanks as they finished his nest
Then he clambered inside it and took off his vest
Gave a sigh and a groan and delivered an egg
with a wince and a shuddering flail of his leg.
Sam and Dean were astonished. They just hadn't known
that an angel laid eggs, but now they'd been shown
And Cas settled his wings and sat down with his egg,
As he cuddled it close they could both see it shine,
It was pearly and green, and Cas mumbled, "It's mine.
I must now take my rest, so for quiet I'll beg,
but I'll see you tomorrow, please bring me some candy,
and if you can find it, some fine liqueur brandy
I must build up my strength, for my grace it might fade
while I sit here immobile down here in the shade."
When the boys heard his words they fell into a panic
and headed off running in manner quite manic
To gather the things that would help to sustain
their guardian angel and ease all his pain.
They brought him some chocolate and gummies and things
and an ivory hairbrush for grooming his wings.
They found him some brandy and all kinds of booze
And Cas drank it all down - he had nothing to lose.
Then the word got around he was nesting and so
people started to visit, a bunch in a row
Crowley came with his minions to point and to mock
And Garth brought Mr. Fizzles, that wily old sock.
Death brought some sushi Cas ate with a smile
Jo and Ellen brought diapers, a really huge pile.
Bobby knitted a onesie and sheepishly gave it.
The hellhounds went for it, and Dean had to save it.
And Castiel kept sitting there to keep his egg warm
watching over it fondly through rain, hail and storm
So through the late summer and into the fall
Castiel sat, immobile, did not leave at all
Winter came with brisk winds and a terrible frost
But the angel still sat there, whatever the cost.
Then the sun started backwards to warm up the land
Cas remained with his egg, which he'd covered with sand.
As the weather got warmer, in fact became hot
He peeled off his trenchcoat - you don't see that a lot.
Til the middle of summer he started to cackle
as Sam and Dean listened they heard that shell crackle
"I'll go boil some water," said Dean with a yell
"Oh, don't worry," said Crowley, "I've brought some from Hell!"
"I had better fetch towels, " croaked Sam in a fright
Then they ran round in circles in terrible plight
For the egg now was hatching, indeed it was time
And a cherub erupted all covered in slime
But they caught it, and washed it and polished its skin
Then Dean diapered that cherub with a big safety pin
Sam stood by looking helpless - he didn't know babies
But Cas smiled in approval. "He doesn't have rabies.
I'll teach him to sing in the heavenly chorus
And when he starts singing, his song will be for us."
Crowley smirked as he summoned his minions to leave.
"It has been fascinating I'll have you believe.
I feel quite avuncular, not sure quite why
And I'm quite looking forward to seeing it fly.
But what will you call him? the kid needs a name.
And who is his daddy? Who can we blame?"
Then Garth said quite softly, "His father is God."
Crowley laughed in derision. "That randy old sod!"
But then Gabriel, late to the party, had heard
And he banished the demon to realms quite absurd.
"It'll take him a while to get back here from there,"
he said. "Tell me at once now, does anyone care?"
Nobody did, and a party began
Attended by angels, by demons and man.
Such a party it was! And they all drank a lot.
Then Dean sang karaoke 'til Sam fired a shot
And the angels all threatened to silence poor Dean
While the demons described to him things quite obscene
And Dean had the last word as he fled from the crowd
"Cas was bound and determined. He made me quite proud.
I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
That angel was faithful, one hundred per cent!"
But all good things must end, and so must this tale
So please give me your feedback - I'll read it in jail!