Title: New Dependence
Author
missnegreenwood aka
sagaluthienCharacter(s)/Pairing: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester
Theme:
Theme Nanowrimo - table: nanowrimo Prompt(s): # 4 trust
Rating & Warning: R,
Disclaimer: Everything is totally invented and I do not know or own the original characters from Supernatural. I have not written it for earn any money.
Author's Notes: Set in the blind!Sam!Verse
Summary: Reality hits Sam hard that life absolutely isn't the same any more.
Somehow it had been easy to ignore that things would never go back to how it was as long as he was still in the hospital. Like that Sam still hoped there would be a miracle of him suddenly has his eyes back and see again. Every morning he woke up he became terrified as it was dark and the brain searched for any light and then Sam felt like he would lose it, but then in the next moment he remembered that he would never see again.
He had to learn to trust himself to be able to get through the day. He had to put a trust in people around him to guide him right and not deceive him. Sam detected how much he'd rely on with a sight that he had to find new ways to managed.
Sam had believed that wouldn't be so hard to get back to the outside world from the hospital, but the reality fell down as soon Dean had lead him to the car and drove away. It became more real at the first stop and he had put his feet outside the door and felt there where gravel instead of asphalt underneath them. Suddenly he worried if there would be bigger stones there and he would trip, fall or anything. Though worst was he had no idea towards which direction he would go to get to the restroom or any where. He had to trust Dean to guide him by voice or lead him.
In the next moment Sam got a panic attack as he thought longer, to how he had to learn to trust others to do it when Dean wouldn't be there any more. Somehow he had always counted on Dean to keep his back, and now it would have been so much more important.
There were a need to learn how to have a dependence on people, and that of those he might not even know. His heart beat faster and it took him a long time to calm down enough to be able to start move for a new independence.