Accede or Abate?
Title: Accede or Abate?
Characters: Sam, Dean
Word count: 3777 words
Summary: Sam is sick. Big brother Dean comes to the rescue. Original prompt for neonchica on hoodie_time .
Disclaimer: Still don’t own ‘em.
Rating: Gen
Beta: Awesome si_star_x .
With AC/DC blasting through the speakers, Sam slept in the passenger seat with his face pressed on the window, snoring, while Dean drove the Impala down the road to their next destination. Sam shifted in his seat and was now facing Dean, his hair falling on his closed eyes. Smiling, Dean extended his hand in the attempt to stroke his annoying hair away. Just as Dean was about to reach out, he felt the Impala shake under him. Looking outside ahead of him, Dean saw the bright lights coming towards them. He just managed to reach over in the hope of protecting Sam when...
Dean woke up with a start, his heart thudding loudly against his chest. He looked to his right but was met with nothing but the darkness in his room. Sam. He had to get to Sam, make sure he’s alright. Dean tried to sit up but the pain flaring up in his left arm, made it impossible to do so. Clutching his left hand in his right, Dean tried to calm himself. Humming Metallica was futile as it did nothing to calm his nerves. He was just about to give up and call Sam to check on him when he heard a knock on his bedroom door.
“Dean?” Sam asked tentatively as he opened the door slowly.
“Sam,” Dean whispered, cringing at how hoarse his voice sounded, “you okay?”
“Yeah.” Sam exhaled a breath of relief on hearing his answer, “Are you?”
“I guess.” Dean muttered quietly.
“Another nightmare?” Sam asked knowingly.
Dean remained quiet hoping Sam would get the message and leave, but he didn’t, and it wasn't exactly unexpected.“Yeah, I’m fine.” He finally told him.
“Sure you are...” Sam mumbled, turning on the lights and walking to Dean’s bed. He sat by the bed and noticed Dean cradling his left arm. “Cramp?”
Without waiting for a response, Sam took the hand in his and started massaging the cramp, “What was it about?”
“What?” Dean asked, startled by Sam’s quiet voice.
“Nightmare.”
“Howler monkeys. Whole room full of ‘em. Those things creep the hell outta me”
“Right,” Sam said, disbelieving Dean’s words but still smiling a little in amusement.
“No... just the usual stuff Sammy. Nothing I couldn’t handle.” Dean said seriously.
Sam looked up to meet Dean’s eyes and knew it was something Dean couldn’t handle. But he also knew that now was not the time to push him to talk about it. Dean would talk, at his own pace. Until then, Sam just had to be patient with him.
Massaging the kinks out, Sam gave Dean some muscle relaxants for the cramp. He, then, helped Dean lay on his side and stuffed the pillows behind his back so that he wouldn’t roll back and twist his body in an awkward position when he was sleeping.
When he was about to leave, Sam heard Dean whisper his name, ”Sam?”
“Want something?” Sam asked, turning back.
“No... I... uh...” Dean stumbled over his own words.
Knowing what his brother was asking, Sam replied softly, “I’ll leave the door open. Call if you need anything”.
With that Sam left the room. Dean wondered when they changed places between the protector and protected. Since when did Sam know him more than he knew himself. Nowadays it seemed like Sam would sense something was wrong with him even before he did. For example, just right now, when he entered the room just when Dean was about to call him. Maybe it was a part of the whole psychic thing he had going on. Usually it would scare the crap out of Dean, but for the first time, he was glad Sam would come before he had to ask.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to ask, it’s just that he... couldn’t. With the way dad brought them up, brought him up, he just couldn’t. He had to be the brave soldier for his father. He could not afford to be weak or ask for help when his father had monsters to fight and other bigger worries to take care of.
He didn’t even know how kids his age were supposed to behave until he went to school, but when he was old enough to comprehend how he was different and how he could never live the childhood like he had before the fire, he vowed not to let Sam feel that way. Sam was going to live the childhood he deserved and hopefully, Dean would get a glimpse of a normal childhood through Sam’s eyes. Seeing the innocence in his eyes and the purity of his soul, Dean couldn’t help but be a little bit jealous but at the same time, he was damn proud of his brother. Watching Sam laugh and act his own age, was his reward. And that was more than enough for him. Thinking about Sam as the little kid he had been not too long ago, Dean must have fallen asleep.
******
“Dean?” Sam’s low voice roused Dean from his deep slumber.
“Wha... What’s wrong?” Dean asked hastily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“We’re... uh... out of milk. I’m gonna go get some.”
Dean looked at Sam in astonishment, “You woke me up to tell me that?”
“Yes?” Sam replied shyly.
“You’re unbelievable! You know that right?”Dean huffed, pulling the pillows out from behind himself and turning so that he lay on his back.
“I didn’t want to worry you in case you woke up and I wasn’t here...”
“Ever heard of a pen and paper and something known as a message?” Dean asked with his eyebrows raised.
“I didn’t of that,” Sam mumbled as he helped Dean lay flat on his back. Dean closed his eyes willing the pain in his lower back to go away. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay.” Sam said, walking to the door hurriedly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait up!” Dean called as soon as his brother was out of sight, pushing himself up on his hands and into a sitting position. Sam popped his head back in with questioning eyes. “Help me in the chair and then go.”
“You...”
“I swear if you say ‘need rest’ or ‘go back to sleep’, I’m going to kick your ass.”
“It’s just that it’s seven in the morning, Dean,” Sam reasoned.
“Didn’t cross your mind to check the time before you woke me up? You know I won’t be able to sleep now anyway.”
Heaving a sigh, Sam did as was asked. Just as Dean was settled in the chair, he ordered Sam to leave and bring back his precious milk, and then he went to the bathroom to take care of his daily needs.
About half an hour later, Sam still wasn’t back and Dean was sure that his brother was going to restock everything they needed on a daily basis now that he was finally out. Sighing and pouring himself some cereal, Dean booted Sam’s laptop and started working on it.
******
“I’m back!” Sam called as he shut the front door and lifted the heavy grocery bags into the house.
“I heard!” Dean shouted back from where he was sitting just across from him, in the recliner couch pulled out and still working on the laptop. His position startled Sam.
“You’re here. What are you doing on my computer?” Sam asked from the kitchen.
“You don’t wanna know,” Dean said, quickly shutting the laptop.
Dean heard Sam groaning and smirked. That little bitch will never see what just hit him. Dean looked up just in time to see Sam walking into the living room, hair and clothes dripping wet.
“Did you fall in a fountain on your way back?” Dean asked, surprised.
“It’s raining” Sam sighed, running a hand down his hair before shaking his head like a wet puppy.
“No shit, Sherlock.” Dean said shaking his head, “Go change. I’ll make you some tea.”
“Nah, I’m fine.” Sam replied walking towards his room.
Choosing to ignore Sam, Dean drew back the recliner and pulled his chair closer, locked in the brakes before heaving himself off the couch and into the chair. Closing his eyes in the hope of forgetting the tremor in his left arm, he pushed himself to the kitchen and started making Sam some tea, despite what his little brother had said.
******
They drank the tea in a relative silence. Dean was making a mental inventory of their medical supplies, because he was sure Sam was going to fall sick, when Sam interrupted him.
“I wanna go to the Grand Canyon,” he said quietly.
Dean did a double take, because that was completely unexpected, “What?”
“The Grand Canyon.” Sam said, looking at him, “You wanted to go there too.”
“Sam... that was before...” Dean said quietly.
Sam sighed, “I know... but I’m getting bored here... I wanna get back on the road.”
“You? Want to get back on the road?” Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. “That’s great. Go meet up with Bobby, take him to the Canyon and maybe go hunt...”
“That’s not what I meant.” Sam said in a whiny voice that Dean couldn’t help but laugh at.
“Sam...”
“Fine. Whatever... do what you please.” Sam said getting up and going to the kitchen, ending the conversation effectively.
*****
The rest of the day went by like any other. After eating breakfast, they worked on the physical therapy. That was followed by Dean napping and Sam making out a rough map of exactly what Dean needed to know about getting there. He wanted to convince Dean to go, but didn’t know how. They watched some television when Dean woke up and whilst eating their Mac and cheese dinner, and then Dean went back to sleep. He hated feeling so sick and out of energy but he couldn’t help it. It was around midnight when he woke up again.
At first he just laid there, wondering what had awakened him when he heard snuffling from the other room. Dean berated himself for falling asleep so soon without taking care of Sam. He should’ve insisted on letting him rest right when he came home. He looked to his right and saw the chair a little far away from his reach. He was fairly certain he could reach it without tumbling on himself, but still considered calling Sam. He quickly banished the idea, because one, Sam would lie to him and tell him that he’s okay, and two, he would order him to stay in bed.
Dean knew he couldn’t rest without taking care of Sam, so he looked around the room for something that would help him get up from the bed.
Trying to get up by pushing himself on this elbows and arms didn’t work as he had planned, and he dropped back on the bed, sweat pouring down his face. Looking towards the ceiling, his eyes fell to the headboard, and he twisted himself to really look at it. He shook the board with his right hand to see how sturdy it was. Happy with how it held, Dean brought both his hands to the top of the board and pulled himself up like he would on a pull up bar if he still could. Not wasting any time, Dean rebuked himself of what is and what should’ve been, drew the wheelchair closer and hoisted himself in it. Grabbing their first aid kit, he took inventory of the things that could help Sam with the cold and headed to Sam’s room.
“What are you doing here?” Sam asked with a stuffy nose when Dean entered.
“Lie down.” Dean instructed.
Sam looked dead on his feet but he didn’t say anything, and Dean decided he wasn’t going to call him on it either. Over the past few weeks, their roles have been reversed. Just like Dean did before, Sam would hide whenever he was having nightmares or was scared or hurt or even sick. Dean knew he was responsible for the way Sam started hiding things from him; knew that he was the one that pushed Sam away so far that he was scared to share his feelings now. The one to share and care was replaced by the one to who had to forget himself in order to take care of his sick and disabled brother. There was no else to blame but him. He just hoped that he would be able to regain some of his brother’s trust and be the brother he was before MS took over his life. He had to become the big brother he always had been.
Who was Dean Winchester if he wasn’t Sam’s older brother who took care of him? No one. Dean was nothing if not his brother’s keeper.
Heeding to Dean’s instruction, Sam lay on the bed silently and immediately started sneezing non-stop. By the time he finished, Dean was holding a pack of Kleenex for him with an amused look on his face.
“Shud’up,” Sam mumbled, taking a couple of sheets from the box.
“Here, take this.” Dean said holding out some capsules.
“This sucks,” Sam sulked, swallowing the pills. He looked up when he saw Dean snickering, “’s not funny,” he whined, and Dean couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Sam looked at him confused and Dean decided to elaborate.
“You said snot.” He said and started laughing again.
“What are you? Four?” Sam said rolling his eyes and regretted it the same moment as the headache looming over his head exploded and he involuntarily groaned.
“Shh, it’s okay. Just sleep. It’ll be better when you wake up.” Dean soothed.
Sam tried to stay awake and he wondered if he mumbled something unintelligible before he was pulled down under.
Dean sat there watching Sam as he finally fell asleep and his breathing evened out. He reached out a hand to Sam’s forehead to check for fever and wasn’t surprised when it felt hot.
While taking the thermometer out of the kit, Dean almost knocked the kit off his lap, his weak hand doing nothing to stop it. Fortunately the bed was next to him and it broke the kit’s fall but that’s all the warning Dean needed as he kept the kit on the side table. He took the thermometer and slowly slid it in Sam’s mouth, releasing a breath when Sam didn’t even stir. He waited for the beep to go before taking it out. He sighed when he saw the temperature 101.8. It was going to be a long night.
Wheeling himself to the kitchen, opening the fridge he pulled out the cold water and poured it in a bowl. On his way to Sam’s room, he made a little detour to the side cabinet and pulled out two small towels as well. He could let the medicines do their magic and risk Sam’s fever going higher or he could help reduce it. Obviously he chose the latter. Not to mention that it finally gave Dean something to focus on. He did always work well when it came to Sam’s well being.
Putting the tray by the bed, he pulled his chair as close to the bed as he could. He dipped the towel in the water, squeezed the excess water out and then placed it on Sam’s head. Sam twitched weakly when the cold towel hit him, tried to knock the cold object away from him, but Dean effectively stopped his hands from wandering, without any further fight from Sam.
Dean knew he was going to be sore tomorrow but it didn’t matter for now. He wasn’t leaving Sam. Shifting slightly on the chair to find a better position, Dean watched Sam before he fell asleep himself, head hitting his chest as his own breathing evened out.
*****
Dean woke with a start and almost toppled himself along with his chair. Worrying about Sam, he somehow forgot to lock the brakes on his chair. Exhaling a breath, he rubbed a hand over his face and returned his attention to Sam. He was muttering in his sleep and Dean knew it’s what woke him up. Sam got restless and started thrashing around in the bed and then fell back asleep. In his unconscious state, Sam had managed to throw the blanket off. Reaching out, Dean was about to pull the blanket up when a fist connected with his face.
“Son of a bitch!” He cursed loudly.
“Dean?” Sam asked, instantly wakeful as he sat up.
Dean pulled back his hand that was cradling his jaw, to see blood on it from the split lip, “Yes, me! The hell was that for?!” Dean asked clearly pissed.
“I... I...” Sam stuttered as he saw the blood on his brother’s face, “What are you doing here?”
“Trying to be the caring brother I am. And this is the thanks I get. Way to go man.” Dean said, wiping his face with a tissue. He then moved to the bathroom to wash his mouth.
“You scared me, Dean. It wasn’t my fault,” Sam argued, even though he felt really guilty for hitting him. Especially since his brother was out of his bed, jeopardizing his own health for his comfort.
“I thought, you were sleeping...” Dean mumbled as he wheeled back to the room.
“I’m sorry.” Sam apologized as he saw the bruise forming on his brother’s jaw.
Dean waved his hand to let him know he was forgiven, “Just make sure to not hit me if a situation like this arises again. Need to have some part my body working for later.” Dean joked.
“It’s not funny!” Sam glared at him. Dean noticed his voice didn’t sound so nasal any more.
“Looks like you’re getting better,” Dean said changing the subject and bringing his hand to Sam’s forehead to check the fever, “Yep, definitely better.”
“What time is it?” Sam yawned.
“Uh...” Dean squinted to check the wall clock, the darkness doing nothing to help his already bad vision, “About 6am. Go back to sleep.”
“Okay.” Sam garbled and mumbled some other incoherent things before falling asleep.
Looking around the room and deciding there was nothing he could do here, Dean wheeled out of Sam’s room into the living room. He wanted to catch a couple of hours sleep before Sam woke up again but didn’t want to sleep in his bed because as much fun as pulling himself up was, his arms were still sore and achy. If he could help it, he’d rather not get up like that again. And helping his older brother out of bed should be least of Sam’s worries at the moment.
So, wheeling into the living room, Dean transferred himself to the couch and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and onto his legs. He knew they were cold especially since he wasn’t even wearing any socks. Wearing shoes inside the house was pointless, so most of the time he just wore socks. Today was a different story. He looked at his legs, noticing how weak they looked under his pyjamas. Lowering his gaze, he saw his dead feet, his toes curling in on themselves. Every night Sam would insist he wear foot braces to keep them straight. He understood why he did that but Dean didn’t see a point. It was not like he was ever going to be able to stand on his feet ever again so why did it matter if his toes were out straight or curling in.
Blinking back the tears that threatened to spill, he pulled the blanket over and sank into the couch. Thinking about the idea Sam proposed in the morning about visiting the Grand Canyon, Dean fell asleep.
*****
“Dean, wake up.” Sam’s throaty voice was the first thing Dean heard after he slept awkwardly on the pull out recliner.
“What?” Dean grumbled as he opened his eyes to see Sam, who looked better than last night.
Waking up to see Sam hovering by his side was turning into a much disliked habit.
“You didn’t take your meds.” Sam said holding out a couple of pills and tablets in his hand with a glass of water in the other.
“You couldn’t wait for a little while longer for this?” Dean asked incredulously and he downed the pills. He looked at his watch to see it was almost 12 in the afternoon. Keeping the glass on the table, Sam sat beside Dean and sighed. “How do you feel?” Dean asked.
“Awful...” Sam grated.
Dean smirked, “Well if it’s any consolation, you don’t look any worse for wear than you do normally.”
Sam lips quirked upwards just as his eyes landed on his brother’s feet and he frowned. Somehow the blanket had slipped and now Dean’s feet were left uncovered. Dean thought Sam was going to start yelling or throwing a fit at him but surprised him when he just sighed and closed his eyes.
Dean knew how to deal with a pissed off and annoyed brother. What he didn’t know was how to work with a placid and composed Sam.
“You’re not going to throw a hissy fit about me not wearing my foot braces?” Dean asked surprised.
Sam turned his head to look at him. Dean noticed how tired and worn out he looked.
Sam’s jaw worked as if he was about to say something but decided to change his mind last minute. Instead he stood up and walked away, “I need to get some things,” he said grabbing his jacket and car keys, “I’ll be back soon.”
“Sam?”
“What?” Sam asked turning to face the frustrated Dean. “I’m going to grab some cough meds. We’re out.” He said, wisely ignoring Dean and his comment before he left.
“Sam? SAM!” Dean yelled, but his brother was already gone.
Frustrated and angry at himself and everything about him, Dean ran a hand over his face and hair and wished that he could make it better. Wished there was something he could do to help his brother not get lost in his care. ‘Breathe in; Breathe out’ was his mantra to control his growing frustration but there was nothing to stop the direction their life was heading towards. He wished there was something he could do so that they wouldn’t be in this situation.
Shaking himself out of his negative thoughts, his gaze landed on the laptop. He picked it up and started it. There wasn’t anything he could do about his illness or disability but he could certainly make sure Sam got what he wanted. And if going to The Grand Canyon was Sam’s wish, then it was his command.
Characters: Sam, Dean
Word count: 3777 words
Summary: Sam is sick. Big brother Dean comes to the rescue. Original prompt for neonchica on hoodie_time .
Disclaimer: Still don’t own ‘em.
Rating: Gen
Beta: Awesome si_star_x .
With AC/DC blasting through the speakers, Sam slept in the passenger seat with his face pressed on the window, snoring, while Dean drove the Impala down the road to their next destination. Sam shifted in his seat and was now facing Dean, his hair falling on his closed eyes. Smiling, Dean extended his hand in the attempt to stroke his annoying hair away. Just as Dean was about to reach out, he felt the Impala shake under him. Looking outside ahead of him, Dean saw the bright lights coming towards them. He just managed to reach over in the hope of protecting Sam when...
Dean woke up with a start, his heart thudding loudly against his chest. He looked to his right but was met with nothing but the darkness in his room. Sam. He had to get to Sam, make sure he’s alright. Dean tried to sit up but the pain flaring up in his left arm, made it impossible to do so. Clutching his left hand in his right, Dean tried to calm himself. Humming Metallica was futile as it did nothing to calm his nerves. He was just about to give up and call Sam to check on him when he heard a knock on his bedroom door.
“Dean?” Sam asked tentatively as he opened the door slowly.
“Sam,” Dean whispered, cringing at how hoarse his voice sounded, “you okay?”
“Yeah.” Sam exhaled a breath of relief on hearing his answer, “Are you?”
“I guess.” Dean muttered quietly.
“Another nightmare?” Sam asked knowingly.
Dean remained quiet hoping Sam would get the message and leave, but he didn’t, and it wasn't exactly unexpected.“Yeah, I’m fine.” He finally told him.
“Sure you are...” Sam mumbled, turning on the lights and walking to Dean’s bed. He sat by the bed and noticed Dean cradling his left arm. “Cramp?”
Without waiting for a response, Sam took the hand in his and started massaging the cramp, “What was it about?”
“What?” Dean asked, startled by Sam’s quiet voice.
“Nightmare.”
“Howler monkeys. Whole room full of ‘em. Those things creep the hell outta me”
“Right,” Sam said, disbelieving Dean’s words but still smiling a little in amusement.
“No... just the usual stuff Sammy. Nothing I couldn’t handle.” Dean said seriously.
Sam looked up to meet Dean’s eyes and knew it was something Dean couldn’t handle. But he also knew that now was not the time to push him to talk about it. Dean would talk, at his own pace. Until then, Sam just had to be patient with him.
Massaging the kinks out, Sam gave Dean some muscle relaxants for the cramp. He, then, helped Dean lay on his side and stuffed the pillows behind his back so that he wouldn’t roll back and twist his body in an awkward position when he was sleeping.
When he was about to leave, Sam heard Dean whisper his name, ”Sam?”
“Want something?” Sam asked, turning back.
“No... I... uh...” Dean stumbled over his own words.
Knowing what his brother was asking, Sam replied softly, “I’ll leave the door open. Call if you need anything”.
With that Sam left the room. Dean wondered when they changed places between the protector and protected. Since when did Sam know him more than he knew himself. Nowadays it seemed like Sam would sense something was wrong with him even before he did. For example, just right now, when he entered the room just when Dean was about to call him. Maybe it was a part of the whole psychic thing he had going on. Usually it would scare the crap out of Dean, but for the first time, he was glad Sam would come before he had to ask.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to ask, it’s just that he... couldn’t. With the way dad brought them up, brought him up, he just couldn’t. He had to be the brave soldier for his father. He could not afford to be weak or ask for help when his father had monsters to fight and other bigger worries to take care of.
He didn’t even know how kids his age were supposed to behave until he went to school, but when he was old enough to comprehend how he was different and how he could never live the childhood like he had before the fire, he vowed not to let Sam feel that way. Sam was going to live the childhood he deserved and hopefully, Dean would get a glimpse of a normal childhood through Sam’s eyes. Seeing the innocence in his eyes and the purity of his soul, Dean couldn’t help but be a little bit jealous but at the same time, he was damn proud of his brother. Watching Sam laugh and act his own age, was his reward. And that was more than enough for him. Thinking about Sam as the little kid he had been not too long ago, Dean must have fallen asleep.
******
“Dean?” Sam’s low voice roused Dean from his deep slumber.
“Wha... What’s wrong?” Dean asked hastily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“We’re... uh... out of milk. I’m gonna go get some.”
Dean looked at Sam in astonishment, “You woke me up to tell me that?”
“Yes?” Sam replied shyly.
“You’re unbelievable! You know that right?”Dean huffed, pulling the pillows out from behind himself and turning so that he lay on his back.
“I didn’t want to worry you in case you woke up and I wasn’t here...”
“Ever heard of a pen and paper and something known as a message?” Dean asked with his eyebrows raised.
“I didn’t of that,” Sam mumbled as he helped Dean lay flat on his back. Dean closed his eyes willing the pain in his lower back to go away. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay.” Sam said, walking to the door hurriedly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait up!” Dean called as soon as his brother was out of sight, pushing himself up on his hands and into a sitting position. Sam popped his head back in with questioning eyes. “Help me in the chair and then go.”
“You...”
“I swear if you say ‘need rest’ or ‘go back to sleep’, I’m going to kick your ass.”
“It’s just that it’s seven in the morning, Dean,” Sam reasoned.
“Didn’t cross your mind to check the time before you woke me up? You know I won’t be able to sleep now anyway.”
Heaving a sigh, Sam did as was asked. Just as Dean was settled in the chair, he ordered Sam to leave and bring back his precious milk, and then he went to the bathroom to take care of his daily needs.
About half an hour later, Sam still wasn’t back and Dean was sure that his brother was going to restock everything they needed on a daily basis now that he was finally out. Sighing and pouring himself some cereal, Dean booted Sam’s laptop and started working on it.
******
“I’m back!” Sam called as he shut the front door and lifted the heavy grocery bags into the house.
“I heard!” Dean shouted back from where he was sitting just across from him, in the recliner couch pulled out and still working on the laptop. His position startled Sam.
“You’re here. What are you doing on my computer?” Sam asked from the kitchen.
“You don’t wanna know,” Dean said, quickly shutting the laptop.
Dean heard Sam groaning and smirked. That little bitch will never see what just hit him. Dean looked up just in time to see Sam walking into the living room, hair and clothes dripping wet.
“Did you fall in a fountain on your way back?” Dean asked, surprised.
“It’s raining” Sam sighed, running a hand down his hair before shaking his head like a wet puppy.
“No shit, Sherlock.” Dean said shaking his head, “Go change. I’ll make you some tea.”
“Nah, I’m fine.” Sam replied walking towards his room.
Choosing to ignore Sam, Dean drew back the recliner and pulled his chair closer, locked in the brakes before heaving himself off the couch and into the chair. Closing his eyes in the hope of forgetting the tremor in his left arm, he pushed himself to the kitchen and started making Sam some tea, despite what his little brother had said.
******
They drank the tea in a relative silence. Dean was making a mental inventory of their medical supplies, because he was sure Sam was going to fall sick, when Sam interrupted him.
“I wanna go to the Grand Canyon,” he said quietly.
Dean did a double take, because that was completely unexpected, “What?”
“The Grand Canyon.” Sam said, looking at him, “You wanted to go there too.”
“Sam... that was before...” Dean said quietly.
Sam sighed, “I know... but I’m getting bored here... I wanna get back on the road.”
“You? Want to get back on the road?” Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. “That’s great. Go meet up with Bobby, take him to the Canyon and maybe go hunt...”
“That’s not what I meant.” Sam said in a whiny voice that Dean couldn’t help but laugh at.
“Sam...”
“Fine. Whatever... do what you please.” Sam said getting up and going to the kitchen, ending the conversation effectively.
*****
The rest of the day went by like any other. After eating breakfast, they worked on the physical therapy. That was followed by Dean napping and Sam making out a rough map of exactly what Dean needed to know about getting there. He wanted to convince Dean to go, but didn’t know how. They watched some television when Dean woke up and whilst eating their Mac and cheese dinner, and then Dean went back to sleep. He hated feeling so sick and out of energy but he couldn’t help it. It was around midnight when he woke up again.
At first he just laid there, wondering what had awakened him when he heard snuffling from the other room. Dean berated himself for falling asleep so soon without taking care of Sam. He should’ve insisted on letting him rest right when he came home. He looked to his right and saw the chair a little far away from his reach. He was fairly certain he could reach it without tumbling on himself, but still considered calling Sam. He quickly banished the idea, because one, Sam would lie to him and tell him that he’s okay, and two, he would order him to stay in bed.
Dean knew he couldn’t rest without taking care of Sam, so he looked around the room for something that would help him get up from the bed.
Trying to get up by pushing himself on this elbows and arms didn’t work as he had planned, and he dropped back on the bed, sweat pouring down his face. Looking towards the ceiling, his eyes fell to the headboard, and he twisted himself to really look at it. He shook the board with his right hand to see how sturdy it was. Happy with how it held, Dean brought both his hands to the top of the board and pulled himself up like he would on a pull up bar if he still could. Not wasting any time, Dean rebuked himself of what is and what should’ve been, drew the wheelchair closer and hoisted himself in it. Grabbing their first aid kit, he took inventory of the things that could help Sam with the cold and headed to Sam’s room.
“What are you doing here?” Sam asked with a stuffy nose when Dean entered.
“Lie down.” Dean instructed.
Sam looked dead on his feet but he didn’t say anything, and Dean decided he wasn’t going to call him on it either. Over the past few weeks, their roles have been reversed. Just like Dean did before, Sam would hide whenever he was having nightmares or was scared or hurt or even sick. Dean knew he was responsible for the way Sam started hiding things from him; knew that he was the one that pushed Sam away so far that he was scared to share his feelings now. The one to share and care was replaced by the one to who had to forget himself in order to take care of his sick and disabled brother. There was no else to blame but him. He just hoped that he would be able to regain some of his brother’s trust and be the brother he was before MS took over his life. He had to become the big brother he always had been.
Who was Dean Winchester if he wasn’t Sam’s older brother who took care of him? No one. Dean was nothing if not his brother’s keeper.
Heeding to Dean’s instruction, Sam lay on the bed silently and immediately started sneezing non-stop. By the time he finished, Dean was holding a pack of Kleenex for him with an amused look on his face.
“Shud’up,” Sam mumbled, taking a couple of sheets from the box.
“Here, take this.” Dean said holding out some capsules.
“This sucks,” Sam sulked, swallowing the pills. He looked up when he saw Dean snickering, “’s not funny,” he whined, and Dean couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Sam looked at him confused and Dean decided to elaborate.
“You said snot.” He said and started laughing again.
“What are you? Four?” Sam said rolling his eyes and regretted it the same moment as the headache looming over his head exploded and he involuntarily groaned.
“Shh, it’s okay. Just sleep. It’ll be better when you wake up.” Dean soothed.
Sam tried to stay awake and he wondered if he mumbled something unintelligible before he was pulled down under.
Dean sat there watching Sam as he finally fell asleep and his breathing evened out. He reached out a hand to Sam’s forehead to check for fever and wasn’t surprised when it felt hot.
While taking the thermometer out of the kit, Dean almost knocked the kit off his lap, his weak hand doing nothing to stop it. Fortunately the bed was next to him and it broke the kit’s fall but that’s all the warning Dean needed as he kept the kit on the side table. He took the thermometer and slowly slid it in Sam’s mouth, releasing a breath when Sam didn’t even stir. He waited for the beep to go before taking it out. He sighed when he saw the temperature 101.8. It was going to be a long night.
Wheeling himself to the kitchen, opening the fridge he pulled out the cold water and poured it in a bowl. On his way to Sam’s room, he made a little detour to the side cabinet and pulled out two small towels as well. He could let the medicines do their magic and risk Sam’s fever going higher or he could help reduce it. Obviously he chose the latter. Not to mention that it finally gave Dean something to focus on. He did always work well when it came to Sam’s well being.
Putting the tray by the bed, he pulled his chair as close to the bed as he could. He dipped the towel in the water, squeezed the excess water out and then placed it on Sam’s head. Sam twitched weakly when the cold towel hit him, tried to knock the cold object away from him, but Dean effectively stopped his hands from wandering, without any further fight from Sam.
Dean knew he was going to be sore tomorrow but it didn’t matter for now. He wasn’t leaving Sam. Shifting slightly on the chair to find a better position, Dean watched Sam before he fell asleep himself, head hitting his chest as his own breathing evened out.
*****
Dean woke with a start and almost toppled himself along with his chair. Worrying about Sam, he somehow forgot to lock the brakes on his chair. Exhaling a breath, he rubbed a hand over his face and returned his attention to Sam. He was muttering in his sleep and Dean knew it’s what woke him up. Sam got restless and started thrashing around in the bed and then fell back asleep. In his unconscious state, Sam had managed to throw the blanket off. Reaching out, Dean was about to pull the blanket up when a fist connected with his face.
“Son of a bitch!” He cursed loudly.
“Dean?” Sam asked, instantly wakeful as he sat up.
Dean pulled back his hand that was cradling his jaw, to see blood on it from the split lip, “Yes, me! The hell was that for?!” Dean asked clearly pissed.
“I... I...” Sam stuttered as he saw the blood on his brother’s face, “What are you doing here?”
“Trying to be the caring brother I am. And this is the thanks I get. Way to go man.” Dean said, wiping his face with a tissue. He then moved to the bathroom to wash his mouth.
“You scared me, Dean. It wasn’t my fault,” Sam argued, even though he felt really guilty for hitting him. Especially since his brother was out of his bed, jeopardizing his own health for his comfort.
“I thought, you were sleeping...” Dean mumbled as he wheeled back to the room.
“I’m sorry.” Sam apologized as he saw the bruise forming on his brother’s jaw.
Dean waved his hand to let him know he was forgiven, “Just make sure to not hit me if a situation like this arises again. Need to have some part my body working for later.” Dean joked.
“It’s not funny!” Sam glared at him. Dean noticed his voice didn’t sound so nasal any more.
“Looks like you’re getting better,” Dean said changing the subject and bringing his hand to Sam’s forehead to check the fever, “Yep, definitely better.”
“What time is it?” Sam yawned.
“Uh...” Dean squinted to check the wall clock, the darkness doing nothing to help his already bad vision, “About 6am. Go back to sleep.”
“Okay.” Sam garbled and mumbled some other incoherent things before falling asleep.
Looking around the room and deciding there was nothing he could do here, Dean wheeled out of Sam’s room into the living room. He wanted to catch a couple of hours sleep before Sam woke up again but didn’t want to sleep in his bed because as much fun as pulling himself up was, his arms were still sore and achy. If he could help it, he’d rather not get up like that again. And helping his older brother out of bed should be least of Sam’s worries at the moment.
So, wheeling into the living room, Dean transferred himself to the couch and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and onto his legs. He knew they were cold especially since he wasn’t even wearing any socks. Wearing shoes inside the house was pointless, so most of the time he just wore socks. Today was a different story. He looked at his legs, noticing how weak they looked under his pyjamas. Lowering his gaze, he saw his dead feet, his toes curling in on themselves. Every night Sam would insist he wear foot braces to keep them straight. He understood why he did that but Dean didn’t see a point. It was not like he was ever going to be able to stand on his feet ever again so why did it matter if his toes were out straight or curling in.
Blinking back the tears that threatened to spill, he pulled the blanket over and sank into the couch. Thinking about the idea Sam proposed in the morning about visiting the Grand Canyon, Dean fell asleep.
*****
“Dean, wake up.” Sam’s throaty voice was the first thing Dean heard after he slept awkwardly on the pull out recliner.
“What?” Dean grumbled as he opened his eyes to see Sam, who looked better than last night.
Waking up to see Sam hovering by his side was turning into a much disliked habit.
“You didn’t take your meds.” Sam said holding out a couple of pills and tablets in his hand with a glass of water in the other.
“You couldn’t wait for a little while longer for this?” Dean asked incredulously and he downed the pills. He looked at his watch to see it was almost 12 in the afternoon. Keeping the glass on the table, Sam sat beside Dean and sighed. “How do you feel?” Dean asked.
“Awful...” Sam grated.
Dean smirked, “Well if it’s any consolation, you don’t look any worse for wear than you do normally.”
Sam lips quirked upwards just as his eyes landed on his brother’s feet and he frowned. Somehow the blanket had slipped and now Dean’s feet were left uncovered. Dean thought Sam was going to start yelling or throwing a fit at him but surprised him when he just sighed and closed his eyes.
Dean knew how to deal with a pissed off and annoyed brother. What he didn’t know was how to work with a placid and composed Sam.
“You’re not going to throw a hissy fit about me not wearing my foot braces?” Dean asked surprised.
Sam turned his head to look at him. Dean noticed how tired and worn out he looked.
Sam’s jaw worked as if he was about to say something but decided to change his mind last minute. Instead he stood up and walked away, “I need to get some things,” he said grabbing his jacket and car keys, “I’ll be back soon.”
“Sam?”
“What?” Sam asked turning to face the frustrated Dean. “I’m going to grab some cough meds. We’re out.” He said, wisely ignoring Dean and his comment before he left.
“Sam? SAM!” Dean yelled, but his brother was already gone.
Frustrated and angry at himself and everything about him, Dean ran a hand over his face and hair and wished that he could make it better. Wished there was something he could do to help his brother not get lost in his care. ‘Breathe in; Breathe out’ was his mantra to control his growing frustration but there was nothing to stop the direction their life was heading towards. He wished there was something he could do so that they wouldn’t be in this situation.
Shaking himself out of his negative thoughts, his gaze landed on the laptop. He picked it up and started it. There wasn’t anything he could do about his illness or disability but he could certainly make sure Sam got what he wanted. And if going to The Grand Canyon was Sam’s wish, then it was his command.