SPN Letters to Penthouse
Here's the first hilarious offering of our Letters to Penthouse challenge. Check here for details on how to enter. Keep 'em coming!
Penthouse,
Everytime I go down on my women, and let me tell you, it's A LOT, my hat gets in the way. What should I do?
P.S. No way in hell I'm takin it off!
from
Truckers caps FTW in SD
Penthouse peeps,
What's the best way to clean come stains off the leather seats of a 1967 Chevy Impala? My baby needs a cleanin!
From
The Driver NOT the Shotgun, Bromo, IL
******
Dear Penthouse,
I was infatuated with this guy, *Sean*, the first time I met him but that all changed recently. See, he has this brother, *Dan*, that I never really paid any attention to until he showed up one evening, but it was like he was a different person, possessed or something. I had never seen him like this. He was so controlling, almost forceful, and I fucking LOVED it. It got a little rough so he tied me up and I got so wet thinking about his strong hands touching me over and over again. And the filth that was coming out of his mouth woulda made my mama hunt his ass down, if she had only known. My panties were soaked from my own juices just waiting for his fingers to plunge into my wet heat. I was panting but he held be at bay.
He was just teasing me, waiting for the one he really wanted and knew if he was with me, this person would eventually show up. I'm all for threesomes but these two were too kinky even for me. My problem now is I dream about him taking me from behind while the other just watches and I always wake up so hot & horny that I have to get myself off before going back to sleep again. I don't know what to do. Help?
From
Low on batteries, Bumfuck, USA
******
Dear Perry Steven,
We regret to inform you that we are unable to reprint your letter in our magazine because we found it to be too vulgar and graphic for our 'classy' magazine.
Sincerely,
Jack Beteoff
P.S. Your video has been 'misplaced' otherwise we would of sent that back as well.
*Dean did write a letter to Penthouse but found this letter from them in one of his P.O. Boxes.
Penthouse,
Everytime I go down on my women, and let me tell you, it's A LOT, my hat gets in the way. What should I do?
P.S. No way in hell I'm takin it off!
from
Truckers caps FTW in SD
Penthouse peeps,
What's the best way to clean come stains off the leather seats of a 1967 Chevy Impala? My baby needs a cleanin!
From
The Driver NOT the Shotgun, Bromo, IL
******
Dear Penthouse,
I was infatuated with this guy, *Sean*, the first time I met him but that all changed recently. See, he has this brother, *Dan*, that I never really paid any attention to until he showed up one evening, but it was like he was a different person, possessed or something. I had never seen him like this. He was so controlling, almost forceful, and I fucking LOVED it. It got a little rough so he tied me up and I got so wet thinking about his strong hands touching me over and over again. And the filth that was coming out of his mouth woulda made my mama hunt his ass down, if she had only known. My panties were soaked from my own juices just waiting for his fingers to plunge into my wet heat. I was panting but he held be at bay.
He was just teasing me, waiting for the one he really wanted and knew if he was with me, this person would eventually show up. I'm all for threesomes but these two were too kinky even for me. My problem now is I dream about him taking me from behind while the other just watches and I always wake up so hot & horny that I have to get myself off before going back to sleep again. I don't know what to do. Help?
From
Low on batteries, Bumfuck, USA
******
Dear Perry Steven,
We regret to inform you that we are unable to reprint your letter in our magazine because we found it to be too vulgar and graphic for our 'classy' magazine.
Sincerely,
Jack Beteoff
P.S. Your video has been 'misplaced' otherwise we would of sent that back as well.
*Dean did write a letter to Penthouse but found this letter from them in one of his P.O. Boxes.