SPN: A First Time For Everything
Title: A First Time For Everything
Author: egoteprovoco
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Characters: John(ish)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Supernatural. I am not making any money. Please don't send me to prison.
You humans are so proud of your prisons...Alcatraz, Sing Sing, Attica. They're "supermax". Escape proof. Sure - except for when they're not. Inmates escape from them all the time, either Shawshank style or by dying. You fellas haven't built anything that can stand the test of time. In the long run, they're all minimum security.
Hell, now, that's another story. In Hell, we've been imprisoning the best and brightest for millenia. There's no way to tunnel out and no hope of a Presidential pardon. Used to be that a guy could be proud to be a guard in that prison. I could belly up to the bar and other Demons would just line up to buy me a drink and ask me about the inmates.
Not anymore though. Now we're a fucking laughing stock. Can't go anywhere without smart asses cracking jokes. It isn't even fun to go to work anymore. The Powers That Be have their panties in a knot and everyone's on edge. In the good old days we could spend a nice afternoon whipping the panderers over in the eighth circle, but now we have to work overtime at the gates.
We still don't know how he did it, that's the real problem. The boss is driving himself crazy trying to find out where our security system failed. Until he can find the problem and fix it, it's gonna be overtime for everyone. It's just ridiculous, you know? Who ever heard of someone escaping from Hell?
Not that no one ever leaves - they just don't escape. I mean, we're just as in to "rehabilitation" as any human prison, it's just that our idea of rehab is a little - heh - different. See, we have it down to a science, really. Or maybe an art. Each soul has a personalized program. We carefully strip away every last bit of humanity, and then we release our reformed citizen back into the world. It's a beautiful sight, really. Brings a tear to my eye when those new-born little demonlings get their first taste of freedom.
Makes me feel old too. I can't even remember the rush anymore...maybe it's time for me to move on. After all, this job isn't the good time it used to be. Ooh, if I could just get my hands on that John Winchester, I'd make him pay. He'd beg to be let back into Hell, just to get away from me.
Hmmm...I haven't been this excited about something in centuries. Maybe I could take a litte sabbatical and vacation top-side for a while. It's been a long time since I've gotten all dolled up and wreaked havoc on some living souls. Maybe I can even track down Winchester while I'm up there.
Author: egoteprovoco
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Characters: John(ish)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Supernatural. I am not making any money. Please don't send me to prison.
You humans are so proud of your prisons...Alcatraz, Sing Sing, Attica. They're "supermax". Escape proof. Sure - except for when they're not. Inmates escape from them all the time, either Shawshank style or by dying. You fellas haven't built anything that can stand the test of time. In the long run, they're all minimum security.
Hell, now, that's another story. In Hell, we've been imprisoning the best and brightest for millenia. There's no way to tunnel out and no hope of a Presidential pardon. Used to be that a guy could be proud to be a guard in that prison. I could belly up to the bar and other Demons would just line up to buy me a drink and ask me about the inmates.
Not anymore though. Now we're a fucking laughing stock. Can't go anywhere without smart asses cracking jokes. It isn't even fun to go to work anymore. The Powers That Be have their panties in a knot and everyone's on edge. In the good old days we could spend a nice afternoon whipping the panderers over in the eighth circle, but now we have to work overtime at the gates.
We still don't know how he did it, that's the real problem. The boss is driving himself crazy trying to find out where our security system failed. Until he can find the problem and fix it, it's gonna be overtime for everyone. It's just ridiculous, you know? Who ever heard of someone escaping from Hell?
Not that no one ever leaves - they just don't escape. I mean, we're just as in to "rehabilitation" as any human prison, it's just that our idea of rehab is a little - heh - different. See, we have it down to a science, really. Or maybe an art. Each soul has a personalized program. We carefully strip away every last bit of humanity, and then we release our reformed citizen back into the world. It's a beautiful sight, really. Brings a tear to my eye when those new-born little demonlings get their first taste of freedom.
Makes me feel old too. I can't even remember the rush anymore...maybe it's time for me to move on. After all, this job isn't the good time it used to be. Ooh, if I could just get my hands on that John Winchester, I'd make him pay. He'd beg to be let back into Hell, just to get away from me.
Hmmm...I haven't been this excited about something in centuries. Maybe I could take a litte sabbatical and vacation top-side for a while. It's been a long time since I've gotten all dolled up and wreaked havoc on some living souls. Maybe I can even track down Winchester while I'm up there.