SPN: Untamed
Title: Untamed
Author: egoteprovoco
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money
Characters: John, Sam
Some animals can't survive in captivity, and John thought his younger son might be one of them. Something about the look in his eye, the way he prowled through the tiny motel room, reminded John of a beast in a cage. He'd seen the look before, mostly back in Vietnam. Every company had a guy like Sam; couldn't follow orders, ignored the chain of command, put the needs of the individual over the needs of the group. Like fucking lone wolves. John had hated every last one of those selfish bastards, and it hurt like hell to see the same behavior in his son.
He had tried everything he could think of to show Sam that they were stronger as a team. Tried to show him that his safety and Dean's relied on being able to depend on Sam (a lesson that Dean, incidentally, had known instinctively). It never mattered to Sam, though. His goals were more important than the family's goals. Homework over hand-to-hand and soccer over bow hunting.
It wasn't that John didn't admire Sam's determination; he did. For a normal boy in a normal life, the sheer drive and focus would have made him something extraordinary. But they weren't leading a normal life, and Sam's willful desire to go it alone just left John feeling afraid. Someday he might be the death of them all.
Still, just like the animals in a zoo, there was something beautiful about the wild in Sam. And, although he knew it was necessary, his heart clenched every time he tried to tame him. He hated to see the free spirit wounded. He didn't want his son to wind up performing like a tame bear, with every last bit of that spirit broken down.
Of course, he also didn't want to see him choking on his own blood, ripped to shreds by some monster.
He wasn't a naturally communicative man, though. He could never seem to explain to Sam why the work was so important. The two of them were just too different to ever see eye to eye.
******
Some animals can't survive in captivity, and Sam thought his dad might be one of them. In science, his teacher had told them about Zugunruhe, migratory restlessness, and Sam was pretty sure his dad felt it. He couldn't stay still. Couldn't remain in one place for more than a few months at a stretch. Couldn't put down roots and give Sam the one thing he wanted most; a normal home. He had a feeling that even if he could force his dad to buy a house and stay there, before too long he'd be pacing a circle around the yard just like the penguins in the zoo that swim furiously around their tank when zugunruhe is upon them.
Dean told him that they used to have a home, back when mom was alive, and that Dad had gone off to work every day and come home every night just like a normal person. It was hard to believe. Sam couldn't imagine their dad without his need to roam and hunt and fight. Maybe their mom had tamed him, like a princess in a fairytale, and when she left he had to go back to his wild ways.
Or maybe Dad was like the dog in that book they read in English. He had been a happy family pet once, but then he heard the call of the wild and turned his back on civilization. Sam just knew he didn't have the same wild feelings. He just wanted to stay in one place for once. To be a family instead of a wolf pack.
He could never explain his feelings to his dad, though. The two of them were too different. He'd never understand.
Author: egoteprovoco
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money
Characters: John, Sam
Some animals can't survive in captivity, and John thought his younger son might be one of them. Something about the look in his eye, the way he prowled through the tiny motel room, reminded John of a beast in a cage. He'd seen the look before, mostly back in Vietnam. Every company had a guy like Sam; couldn't follow orders, ignored the chain of command, put the needs of the individual over the needs of the group. Like fucking lone wolves. John had hated every last one of those selfish bastards, and it hurt like hell to see the same behavior in his son.
He had tried everything he could think of to show Sam that they were stronger as a team. Tried to show him that his safety and Dean's relied on being able to depend on Sam (a lesson that Dean, incidentally, had known instinctively). It never mattered to Sam, though. His goals were more important than the family's goals. Homework over hand-to-hand and soccer over bow hunting.
It wasn't that John didn't admire Sam's determination; he did. For a normal boy in a normal life, the sheer drive and focus would have made him something extraordinary. But they weren't leading a normal life, and Sam's willful desire to go it alone just left John feeling afraid. Someday he might be the death of them all.
Still, just like the animals in a zoo, there was something beautiful about the wild in Sam. And, although he knew it was necessary, his heart clenched every time he tried to tame him. He hated to see the free spirit wounded. He didn't want his son to wind up performing like a tame bear, with every last bit of that spirit broken down.
Of course, he also didn't want to see him choking on his own blood, ripped to shreds by some monster.
He wasn't a naturally communicative man, though. He could never seem to explain to Sam why the work was so important. The two of them were just too different to ever see eye to eye.
******
Some animals can't survive in captivity, and Sam thought his dad might be one of them. In science, his teacher had told them about Zugunruhe, migratory restlessness, and Sam was pretty sure his dad felt it. He couldn't stay still. Couldn't remain in one place for more than a few months at a stretch. Couldn't put down roots and give Sam the one thing he wanted most; a normal home. He had a feeling that even if he could force his dad to buy a house and stay there, before too long he'd be pacing a circle around the yard just like the penguins in the zoo that swim furiously around their tank when zugunruhe is upon them.
Dean told him that they used to have a home, back when mom was alive, and that Dad had gone off to work every day and come home every night just like a normal person. It was hard to believe. Sam couldn't imagine their dad without his need to roam and hunt and fight. Maybe their mom had tamed him, like a princess in a fairytale, and when she left he had to go back to his wild ways.
Or maybe Dad was like the dog in that book they read in English. He had been a happy family pet once, but then he heard the call of the wild and turned his back on civilization. Sam just knew he didn't have the same wild feelings. He just wanted to stay in one place for once. To be a family instead of a wolf pack.
He could never explain his feelings to his dad, though. The two of them were too different. He'd never understand.