SPN: What Is Idle Prattle For?
Title: What Is Idle Prattle For?
Author: egoteprovoco
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Characters: Dean
Summary: Dean has lost his voice and is too embarrassed to tell Sam how.
When Sam orders him an egg-whites-only vegetable omlette for breakfast for the fifth day in a row, Dean feels something inside him snap. He's been clinging to his pride for a week and a half now, but goddamnit, a man's got to eat. He slams his fists down on the chipped, formica table top and glares at his brother.
"You ready to tell me what the hell is wrong with you?" Sam asks. "Or are you sad that I forgot your herbal tea?"
Dean scowls and waggles his fingers near his throat. Then, for good measure, he traces a line up toward his mouth and out into the space between them.
"Right," says Sam with an eye roll, "you lost your voice. We established that a week ago. I still can't help you unless you tell me how. And I swear to God, you will not so much as sniff bacon until you do."
If Dean had still been in possession of his vocal chords, he would have growled. Instead, he could only make a sort of whoofing noise, so he banged on the table again to show his displeasure. Sam was not impressed.
There was a cup with some crayons in it on the next table over; Dean snagged it when the kid wasn't looking, then stared blankly at his place mat for a moment trying to decide what to write. It was too fucking embarrassing...he could already feel his face turning red. A quick glance at Sam told him that his brother knew just what his problem was, and was amused to no end.
"You did something stupid, didn't you?"
Dean nodded tersely.
"What's the big deal...we've both done tons of dumb things before. Is telling me really worse than being mute for the rest of your life?"
Dean honestly thought about it. It was a near thing, but bacon won out. He picked up a black crayon and scrawled two words on his place mat:
SEA WITCH.
Sam's raised his eyebrows. Panicked, Dean tried to explain himself:
ACCIDENT!
JOKING!
WHO KNEW? FUCKING CARTOON!!!
"Oh, God," Sam wheezed through his giggles. "How do you even know that movie? Please tell me you had to sing your voice out!"
Dean crossed his arms across his chest and sulked until Sam got his laughter under control.
"I hope you traded your voice for something worthwhile, dude, 'cause I am never going to let you live this down."
Dean tilted his head to the side in fond remembrance, then grinned. He went back to his crayons and drew a smiling face, then some long, red hair. He was just starting to outline some impressive purple shells when Sam pulled the place mat away and crumpled it up.
"You know what? Forget I asked. I probably don't want to know."
Author's Note: I really can't seem to avoid SPN/Disney crack. I never intend to write it...and now I think I might ship Dean/Ariel which is just ridiculous. Oh, and my icon? That is just how Dean smiles at the end of the fic.
Author: egoteprovoco
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Characters: Dean
Summary: Dean has lost his voice and is too embarrassed to tell Sam how.
When Sam orders him an egg-whites-only vegetable omlette for breakfast for the fifth day in a row, Dean feels something inside him snap. He's been clinging to his pride for a week and a half now, but goddamnit, a man's got to eat. He slams his fists down on the chipped, formica table top and glares at his brother.
"You ready to tell me what the hell is wrong with you?" Sam asks. "Or are you sad that I forgot your herbal tea?"
Dean scowls and waggles his fingers near his throat. Then, for good measure, he traces a line up toward his mouth and out into the space between them.
"Right," says Sam with an eye roll, "you lost your voice. We established that a week ago. I still can't help you unless you tell me how. And I swear to God, you will not so much as sniff bacon until you do."
If Dean had still been in possession of his vocal chords, he would have growled. Instead, he could only make a sort of whoofing noise, so he banged on the table again to show his displeasure. Sam was not impressed.
There was a cup with some crayons in it on the next table over; Dean snagged it when the kid wasn't looking, then stared blankly at his place mat for a moment trying to decide what to write. It was too fucking embarrassing...he could already feel his face turning red. A quick glance at Sam told him that his brother knew just what his problem was, and was amused to no end.
"You did something stupid, didn't you?"
Dean nodded tersely.
"What's the big deal...we've both done tons of dumb things before. Is telling me really worse than being mute for the rest of your life?"
Dean honestly thought about it. It was a near thing, but bacon won out. He picked up a black crayon and scrawled two words on his place mat:
SEA WITCH.
Sam's raised his eyebrows. Panicked, Dean tried to explain himself:
ACCIDENT!
JOKING!
WHO KNEW? FUCKING CARTOON!!!
"Oh, God," Sam wheezed through his giggles. "How do you even know that movie? Please tell me you had to sing your voice out!"
Dean crossed his arms across his chest and sulked until Sam got his laughter under control.
"I hope you traded your voice for something worthwhile, dude, 'cause I am never going to let you live this down."
Dean tilted his head to the side in fond remembrance, then grinned. He went back to his crayons and drew a smiling face, then some long, red hair. He was just starting to outline some impressive purple shells when Sam pulled the place mat away and crumpled it up.
"You know what? Forget I asked. I probably don't want to know."
Author's Note: I really can't seem to avoid SPN/Disney crack. I never intend to write it...and now I think I might ship Dean/Ariel which is just ridiculous. Oh, and my icon? That is just how Dean smiles at the end of the fic.