Freud and his Friends - 2 - Session 1
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Draco was sitting in a small office with sparse furniture mainly consisting of two comfortable seats and a small table. You could see the Tower at the very top f the window. The rung has a simple straight lines design. The walls were in beige and light brown, as were the chairs. The therapist was sitting in a slightly larger chair. He seemed attentive and had a very pleasant voice. Understanding, interested, polite.
"Mmm… So how should I proceed?"
"Well, you can just start by telling me what caused you to turn to me."
"I guess you could say I'm impotent. Well, not really. I don't know what I am."
"What makes you think you're impotent?"
"I don't… function well in bed. Not without a spell or a potion or something."
"And how long have you had this problem?"
"About six months."
"Are you in a relationship right now?"
"Yes."
"Tell me about it."
"Well, you probably know - it was in all the papers when we came out. I'm living with Harry Potter."
"Yes, I remember. How long have you been together?"
"More than two years now. We started somewhere in sixth year, and we've been living together from the end of the seventh."
"And your problem started during this summer? When exactly?"
"About a month after graduation. I just seem to have lost interest. But at the same time I don't see why. I do love him. And we are good together."
"Can you tell me what you mean by 'lost interest'?"
"I don't want sex as often. I used to want him like crazy, but now I can take it or leave it. Recently, more like leave it, unless we use something."
"How often do you use something?"
"Now we use it every time. We haven't done it without a potion in 3 months. I'm building resistance and the potions have to be stronger each week."
"And how often do you have sex?"
"Every couple of days."
"Do you enjoy it?"
"Sure. I get aroused and I come and it's good."
"But do you enjoy the experience?"
"It's fine."
"Who is usually the one to initiate it?"
"Harry is. Almost always."
"And why do you agree?"
"Why wouldn't I? We love each other, we're together, it's what we always wanted. We're even engaged."
"If you had the choice, and no one would say a word how often would you do it?"
"Wow… I don't know."
"Once a week? Every other week? Once a month? Once a year?"
"I really don't know."
"Have you tried just not doing it when you don't want to?"
"But I do want to."
"All right, have you tried doing it only when you actively want to begin it? When you are the one to initiate it?"
"We're beginning to do that now. More because I'm so pissed off most of the time that there is little chance of doing it unless I ask to."
"And did it improve anything?"
"Not really."
"And how does your partner react to what is happening?"
"He was… surprised at first I think. I was too. He tried working harder at it, and he didn't say much."
"Was it him or you who suggested using magic to rectify the situation?"
"It was me. He didn't even think about it. He's not very magic-oriented in such things. I just decided it was time to do something, so I found a spell."
"Do you think the problem is mostly physical?"
"No. I just… started to get bored."
"Bored with what exactly? With the positions, places, your partner,…?"
"With just the components of it. You always know what will happen. Even if it starts with something else, it usually ends in one of three ways, with the same actions."
"Well, there are ways to get more variety."
"I know, we tried. But there are blowjobs, rimming, fucking, and just a few more things. You can garnish it with bondage etc., but it's the same elements. They get rearranged in order, but it's all the same things. And they are nice, don't get me wrong, but there is just nothing to look forward to."
"If it's that bad why do you still do it?"
"What should I do? Not have sex?"
"Why not?"
"It's not like it's bad, it's more that I would add something."
"Such as?"
"Well, it would be nice if you could read, or draw during it. In addition."
"That would be a bit difficult."
"Yeah, tell me about it. But I just feel I'm wasting energy on things that don't need that much of it… Maybe not energy, but attention; thoughts."
"…Have you tried being more dominant, having more things to do in the act to take up your attention?"
"Yes. Not often, though. It used to help somewhat. Now I don't know - the potion takes care of it."
"I see... Tell me about things outside of bed. You said you are 'pissed off' often?"
"Yes. That's the other problem. I'm annoyed. All the time. Unless I'm outright angry or scared shitless that I offended him."
"Are you annoyed with him, or anything other in particular?"
"With him."
"And when you are not around him?"
"I can be really peaceful and then I don't want to see him or hear him. So I stay away for as long as I can. But at the same time, 5 minutes later I call him, of floo him, or worry about why he didn't call me, and I get regretful for pushing him away, and I'm scared that I'll lose him."
"What was the last time you were away from him for a long time?"
"In school."
"And do you wish sometimes that you had more space?"
"Yes. And no. I can't sleep without him, and I want to talk to him all the time and see him. Accept I don't want to talk to him when he finally calls and when he is there. Then I'm just annoyed at having to talk to him."
"What do usually talk about?"
"Nothing really. About love, about Quiddich, about remodeling, about the wedding, about our jobs."
"Are they interesting conversations?"
"God no. We talked about these things so many times, there is nothing to say. And there is nothing new. I don't even like myself when we talk. My own voice is starting to get on my nerves. Just saying the same thing over and over again. I feel stupid for talking about the same things, saying the same things. But I don't feel like there is more to say."
"And Harry?"
"Probably the same. And we fight often. That's a little bit more interesting, but I don't know what we fight about, so it's even worse in some ways - scarier."
"Why scarier?"
"Because I feel like there is something there, almost like a force that is doing something to us, and it is something inside of me, and I have no idea what it is, I can't touch it. I can do nothing about it, and he can't save us from it because I can't tell him what it is."
"Does he know there is something?"
"Yes. He says it frightens him too."
"…Okay… since our time is almost over, lets go over some things. I'd like you to stop using potions and spells - so that we can see what is happening without them. Try initiating and leading the next time - take everything into your own hands, and be as inventive as you can. If you don't feel like it than don't do it, just don't. And if you can - every time you get upset with Harry, note what you are upset about; just write it down. The same when you fight. Can you do that?"
"Yes, o.k."
"Good. Then I'll see you in a week."
"O.k. Goodbye, thank you."
"You're welcome. Have a good week."
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A/N: This fic will basically be about Draco trying to work things out in therapy. And vast majority of the story will be in this kind of dialog.