I can't believe it took me fifteen-plus years to figure out that Gremlins is about why Mommy and Daddy won't buy you a puppy.

From Geoffrey's experiments with sobriety, Week 1:

The Efpiti - Two parts orange juice, one part unsweetened cranberry juice, and a splash of Rose's Lime, shaken over ice until very cold and frothy. Serve in a tall, straight-sided glass filled with ice cubes and top with a splash of soda water. Pronounced "eff-pee-tee" (for "Fruity Pink Thing").

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I'm laying off the hard stuff for the next while, so if you see me with a drink in hand you might say something. 

In fashion and attitude, I'm really more of a butch lesbian than anything else.  But I do love my penis.

The drinks are shit, but I admire the honesty of Seagram's Company in naming their fruity malt beverage line "Escape."

If I'd joined the workaday world, at least I'd only have to worry about pleasing one boss - do yourselves a favor, kids; pick a firm, start on the bottom rung, and be a company man (or woman) all your life.

Some mornings I get up and find that the state and federal governments owe me a pile of money, there's a survey team that wants to give me money for a half-hour interview, and I have a new writing contract.  Other mornings I get up and someone has canceled on carefully-planned hotel reservations that we've been discussing for a month, another story ( Read more... )

I hate it when I ask people "did you need a bag today?" even when they obviously don't (because it's like one tiny item or whatever); I hate it even more when they say yes.

I actually felt so guilty about ripping into Alanna the First Adventure [sic] on my writing blog that I edited a couple of criticisms out and put another up-point in to make the positives and negatives symmetrical.  Objectivity my ass, but it's sort of a testimony to how much I used to like that book.

So if you grind a little salt onto the floor as part of proving to a customer that yes, this salt grinder does work, do you still need to throw some over your shoulder?