Three posts? Two days? Whoaa...do not get used to this :)
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...*coughs*
OK, a few months ago (right?) I did a SGA and ex-boyfriends post, of which I must say I called it - spoiler for Outcast! - John SO is the boyfriend who stands you up and doesn't explain worth a damn. CALLED. IT! I want a farkin' cookie, dammit! :D
But in that post, many people asked for the Women of SGA and how you relate to them. As I am not a lesbian, I can't go into how they are or aren't your ex-girlfriends but I have now thought long and hard about it and I have some ideas on how they are your friends...
Elizabeth Weir
She was President of Student Government in high school and not in a Tracy Glick way. She didn't bake brownies or cupcakes; she was just going to be Student Government President from day one. You knew it. Everyone knew it. Hell, Liz knew it but she didn't advertise it. And that's why she was your friend.
Plus, you knew that she had no clue how to bake a brownie or a cupcake if her life depended on it. She did, however, seriously get the munchies after smoking pot and would beg you to make brownies. Then she'd just eat the batter instead of letting you cook them.
You loved working on things with her because you all got things done. Plans for random drug testing of students with no cause? Elizabeth was there on the bullhorn, shouting down the principal, threatening to call the ACLU and getting the rule thrown out. Young Republicans setting up a chapter in school? She was there to start a Young Democrats and a Young Anarchists and you'll never forget the way the principal's vein throbbed in his forehead over that one.
She is and was the "Girl Mostly Likely To Succeed" - she marked through her friends' yearbooks with a big black Sharpie, marking out "Girl" and writing in "Woman" - and you knew she was going to do amazing things. She received a full-scholarship to an Ivy League and you promised to write and keep in touch. And you did, for a while - your letters talking about your desperate attempt to find a major and how you were working on a Presidential campaign and hers filled with information on her latest on-campus causes, her excellence in her world politics courses and how she was thinking of doing a Sophmore Year at the UN.
Time passed and the letters dried up. You'd hoped you see her at your 10 year reunion but she wasn't there. She did, of course, send a letter - on some very fancy letterhead from an "IOA" group - saying she missed everyone and hated to miss the reunion but she planned to be at the 15th, no matter what.
You're planning to be there, just in case, but know, in your heart, that something else will come up. Because, Liz was the person who was going to succeed and that means she doesn't have time for reunions or the like. Hell, you'd not be surprised if she was involved in keeping the world safe...and there's no one you trust more to do it.
Laura Cadman
You've broken up with your boyfriend. It was a bad breakup with him talking about how you were "too independent, too smart" etc, etc ad naseum. Laura snuck in a flask of vodka and a big bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill to your college dorm room when you were both underage -- you still don't know how she got it and you never wanted to ask -- so you could get shit-faced drunk and rant about the stupidity of men and their mother issues. She held your hair the next morning as you threw up so long and hard you thought you were going to die. She's the one who told the floor monitor that you'd eaten bad tofu from the chinese place everyone warns everyone else away from so you didn't get into trouble. She's the one who found pepto and brought you crackers the next day.
When, after a month of moping, you announce loudly and stridently, "I need to get drunk and laid!" Laura is there to respond, just as loudly and stridently, "Fuck yeah! Let's go!" She produces the fake IDs, she helps you find a sexy hooker bra and she gets you into a cool club (where does she find these things!?!) where she helps you hook up with this wicked bass player from that night's club band.
And maybe you have a hazy memory of a drunken kiss in the women's bathroom late that night but you never have the guts to bring it up and she never mentions it either. Or maybe it was the PBR and vodka boilermaker. You're never really sure.
You think Laura will always be the party-go-to girl and you are stunned - STUNNED! - when she introduces you to this med school guy she is dating and announces that they are getting married. You're a bridesmaid in her wedding and you grin when she tells her mother-in-law to-be at the rehearsal dinner to "Blow it out your ass" when said mother-in-law tsk's about Laura's "white gown."
Dr. and Ms. Laura Cadman (you always think of them that way and not in his name) send yearly Christmas cards and you all get together every few years to spend vacations with your respective families. Both of your husbands wonder why you both have to find Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill as your drink for that week (with PBR as a chaser), but neither of you, with a twinkle in your eye, ever explain.
Teyla Emmagen
You're new to your neighborhood and you meet Teyla at the local produce store. You're going to pick up some plum tomatoes and she stops you and says that those aren't very tasty and directs you to a different area for better tomatoes. You thank her and comment on her really good smelling tea. She offers to show you where the best soy chai tea lattes are made and you respond by buying her a cup as a thank you. You both spend three hours chatting. You've just broken up with a long-term boyfriend - who stood you up for funnel cake - and her threats to go and teach him manners makes you snort hot soy milk out of your nose.
Because, she's like tinier than you and looks like a stiff wind could blow her over. However, you find out she isn't joking - she is a black belt in tai kwon do and is now learning some new Tibetian stick fighting. You are impressed...and hazard a thought of sticks hitting your ex's ass and smile.
She knows the best restaurants in the area, the hole-in-the-wall ones and the pricey but worth it ones. You meet her partner and he is very nice, quiet but seems the perfect compliment to her. She looks like she should be a hippy, patchouli wearing, mother-earth type in her long flowing skirts and the like but instead she is amazingly down-to-earth, even though she does meditate and eats only local and organic produce. She teaches Women's Studies at the local University and you later find out, after knowing her for three years, that she's been published in every major feminist research journal.
When you find out she's pregnant, you cry because you are so happy for her and the baby. In all honesty, you can't imagine a luckier kid than the one that will have Teyla as a mother. You buy the baby organic cotton onesies and cloth diapers.
Katie Brown
Katie was he-who-we-do-not-talk-about's girlfriend before you. You never, ever wonder why they only lasted three months. When you meet her, you're stunned because you can't imagine her standing up to him for even ten minutes, much less three months. She's just so...she's such a...god, you hate to say it but what a wussy! 'Nuff said.
You'd tell her to grow a pair but you're pretty sure she'd have no clue what you mean.
Sam Carter
You want to like Sam. You do. She's smart. She's made it in a man's world. She's nice, god, she can be so nice. She's successful but not arrogant. She doesn't brag. She's really a nice person.
And you can't fucking stand her.
She's...she's...yuck! You can't put it in words because all the words make you look like a bitch of the highest regard. And you know this. You know that it's bitchy not to like her. But you don't. And you've tried. Again and again and again, you've tried. She's the friend of a friend. You've talked to her time and time again at gatherings. And each time you come out of it going, "God, that woman drives me crazy!"
You can't explain it. If she weren't a natural blonde, maybe you could put it on that ("what, Ms. Clairol #97?") but you've seen the goods and yeah, she is.
Friends' pool house to change, in case you were wondering. Men may say they don't look but when someone's that blonde? Women look!
You know she's going to succeed and you are happy for her. Because women making it is always a cause for celebration...really....yeah, um, really you are...I mean, you should be...but... Yeah, not to sugar-coat it but god, please don't let her get the promotion/raise/the corner office/the whatever.
Cause you just can't stand her. Yeah, you're going to the special Women's Hell for not being a good, supportive Sister-in-Arms but...
You decide that the special hell is worth it, because you just are never going to like her.
Sora
You don't know her last name. You don't want to know her last name. She is the new administrative assistant -- or rather, WAS -- at the University where your husband teaches. At the faculty July 4th party, wearing some halter top that hookers wouldn't be seen dead in, that bitch hit on your husband. Right. In. Front. Of. You. She's lucky Teyla wasn't there to kick her ass.
Although you are really glad Teyla taught you how to throw a good roundhouse. The black eye will go well with her fake-red/blonde, permed hair.
Bitch.
Jennifer Keller
Oh, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. You meet Jennifer at work and you take her under your wing. You've been in business for ten years by then and Jennifer is just starting out and, oh boy, is she young! So young. Not that she isn't smart - she is - but she's so new to everything. You tell her what she needs to know, sometimes gently, sometimes bluntly, and you keep her as protected as you can. Because she can't protect herself - at least not yet.
When you find out she's never been a) drunk, b) stoned and c) to Vegas, you call up Laura, tell your hubby he's in charge of the kids for a long weekend and take her to Vegas for a Girl's Weekend. You, Jennifer and Laura run up a great big bar tab at the Mirage, Jennifer gets both a) and b) at the same time -- all these years later you still don't ask Laura for any specifics because you still don't want to know -- and Jennifer then wants to find a tattoo palour. You talk her out of it at 3am in the morning - like a good friend. You are waiting for her 30th birthday, though, because if she still wants to then, you are so there!
You worry when you leave to start your own company because who's going to look out for Jennifer now? But you shouldn't have worried. You hear from your ex-secretary that a week after you left, Jennifer lit into three graphics arts designers on the piss-poor presentation and the secretary says it was like you'd never left.
You think, "That's my girl," and make sure that you and Jennifer have lunch once a month and stay in touch forever. When she starts her own company, she hires yours to do her ad work. You can't help but snicker when she does her Megadeth hand symbol at you during the contract signing. Cause that's your girl. You raised her right.
OK, a few months ago (right?) I did a SGA and ex-boyfriends post, of which I must say I called it - spoiler for Outcast! - John SO is the boyfriend who stands you up and doesn't explain worth a damn. CALLED. IT! I want a farkin' cookie, dammit! :D
But in that post, many people asked for the Women of SGA and how you relate to them. As I am not a lesbian, I can't go into how they are or aren't your ex-girlfriends but I have now thought long and hard about it and I have some ideas on how they are your friends...
Elizabeth Weir
She was President of Student Government in high school and not in a Tracy Glick way. She didn't bake brownies or cupcakes; she was just going to be Student Government President from day one. You knew it. Everyone knew it. Hell, Liz knew it but she didn't advertise it. And that's why she was your friend.
Plus, you knew that she had no clue how to bake a brownie or a cupcake if her life depended on it. She did, however, seriously get the munchies after smoking pot and would beg you to make brownies. Then she'd just eat the batter instead of letting you cook them.
You loved working on things with her because you all got things done. Plans for random drug testing of students with no cause? Elizabeth was there on the bullhorn, shouting down the principal, threatening to call the ACLU and getting the rule thrown out. Young Republicans setting up a chapter in school? She was there to start a Young Democrats and a Young Anarchists and you'll never forget the way the principal's vein throbbed in his forehead over that one.
She is and was the "Girl Mostly Likely To Succeed" - she marked through her friends' yearbooks with a big black Sharpie, marking out "Girl" and writing in "Woman" - and you knew she was going to do amazing things. She received a full-scholarship to an Ivy League and you promised to write and keep in touch. And you did, for a while - your letters talking about your desperate attempt to find a major and how you were working on a Presidential campaign and hers filled with information on her latest on-campus causes, her excellence in her world politics courses and how she was thinking of doing a Sophmore Year at the UN.
Time passed and the letters dried up. You'd hoped you see her at your 10 year reunion but she wasn't there. She did, of course, send a letter - on some very fancy letterhead from an "IOA" group - saying she missed everyone and hated to miss the reunion but she planned to be at the 15th, no matter what.
You're planning to be there, just in case, but know, in your heart, that something else will come up. Because, Liz was the person who was going to succeed and that means she doesn't have time for reunions or the like. Hell, you'd not be surprised if she was involved in keeping the world safe...and there's no one you trust more to do it.
Laura Cadman
You've broken up with your boyfriend. It was a bad breakup with him talking about how you were "too independent, too smart" etc, etc ad naseum. Laura snuck in a flask of vodka and a big bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill to your college dorm room when you were both underage -- you still don't know how she got it and you never wanted to ask -- so you could get shit-faced drunk and rant about the stupidity of men and their mother issues. She held your hair the next morning as you threw up so long and hard you thought you were going to die. She's the one who told the floor monitor that you'd eaten bad tofu from the chinese place everyone warns everyone else away from so you didn't get into trouble. She's the one who found pepto and brought you crackers the next day.
When, after a month of moping, you announce loudly and stridently, "I need to get drunk and laid!" Laura is there to respond, just as loudly and stridently, "Fuck yeah! Let's go!" She produces the fake IDs, she helps you find a sexy hooker bra and she gets you into a cool club (where does she find these things!?!) where she helps you hook up with this wicked bass player from that night's club band.
And maybe you have a hazy memory of a drunken kiss in the women's bathroom late that night but you never have the guts to bring it up and she never mentions it either. Or maybe it was the PBR and vodka boilermaker. You're never really sure.
You think Laura will always be the party-go-to girl and you are stunned - STUNNED! - when she introduces you to this med school guy she is dating and announces that they are getting married. You're a bridesmaid in her wedding and you grin when she tells her mother-in-law to-be at the rehearsal dinner to "Blow it out your ass" when said mother-in-law tsk's about Laura's "white gown."
Dr. and Ms. Laura Cadman (you always think of them that way and not in his name) send yearly Christmas cards and you all get together every few years to spend vacations with your respective families. Both of your husbands wonder why you both have to find Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill as your drink for that week (with PBR as a chaser), but neither of you, with a twinkle in your eye, ever explain.
Teyla Emmagen
You're new to your neighborhood and you meet Teyla at the local produce store. You're going to pick up some plum tomatoes and she stops you and says that those aren't very tasty and directs you to a different area for better tomatoes. You thank her and comment on her really good smelling tea. She offers to show you where the best soy chai tea lattes are made and you respond by buying her a cup as a thank you. You both spend three hours chatting. You've just broken up with a long-term boyfriend - who stood you up for funnel cake - and her threats to go and teach him manners makes you snort hot soy milk out of your nose.
Because, she's like tinier than you and looks like a stiff wind could blow her over. However, you find out she isn't joking - she is a black belt in tai kwon do and is now learning some new Tibetian stick fighting. You are impressed...and hazard a thought of sticks hitting your ex's ass and smile.
She knows the best restaurants in the area, the hole-in-the-wall ones and the pricey but worth it ones. You meet her partner and he is very nice, quiet but seems the perfect compliment to her. She looks like she should be a hippy, patchouli wearing, mother-earth type in her long flowing skirts and the like but instead she is amazingly down-to-earth, even though she does meditate and eats only local and organic produce. She teaches Women's Studies at the local University and you later find out, after knowing her for three years, that she's been published in every major feminist research journal.
When you find out she's pregnant, you cry because you are so happy for her and the baby. In all honesty, you can't imagine a luckier kid than the one that will have Teyla as a mother. You buy the baby organic cotton onesies and cloth diapers.
Katie Brown
Katie was he-who-we-do-not-talk-about's girlfriend before you. You never, ever wonder why they only lasted three months. When you meet her, you're stunned because you can't imagine her standing up to him for even ten minutes, much less three months. She's just so...she's such a...god, you hate to say it but what a wussy! 'Nuff said.
You'd tell her to grow a pair but you're pretty sure she'd have no clue what you mean.
Sam Carter
You want to like Sam. You do. She's smart. She's made it in a man's world. She's nice, god, she can be so nice. She's successful but not arrogant. She doesn't brag. She's really a nice person.
And you can't fucking stand her.
She's...she's...yuck! You can't put it in words because all the words make you look like a bitch of the highest regard. And you know this. You know that it's bitchy not to like her. But you don't. And you've tried. Again and again and again, you've tried. She's the friend of a friend. You've talked to her time and time again at gatherings. And each time you come out of it going, "God, that woman drives me crazy!"
You can't explain it. If she weren't a natural blonde, maybe you could put it on that ("what, Ms. Clairol #97?") but you've seen the goods and yeah, she is.
Friends' pool house to change, in case you were wondering. Men may say they don't look but when someone's that blonde? Women look!
You know she's going to succeed and you are happy for her. Because women making it is always a cause for celebration...really....yeah, um, really you are...I mean, you should be...but... Yeah, not to sugar-coat it but god, please don't let her get the promotion/raise/the corner office/the whatever.
Cause you just can't stand her. Yeah, you're going to the special Women's Hell for not being a good, supportive Sister-in-Arms but...
You decide that the special hell is worth it, because you just are never going to like her.
Sora
You don't know her last name. You don't want to know her last name. She is the new administrative assistant -- or rather, WAS -- at the University where your husband teaches. At the faculty July 4th party, wearing some halter top that hookers wouldn't be seen dead in, that bitch hit on your husband. Right. In. Front. Of. You. She's lucky Teyla wasn't there to kick her ass.
Although you are really glad Teyla taught you how to throw a good roundhouse. The black eye will go well with her fake-red/blonde, permed hair.
Bitch.
Jennifer Keller
Oh, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. You meet Jennifer at work and you take her under your wing. You've been in business for ten years by then and Jennifer is just starting out and, oh boy, is she young! So young. Not that she isn't smart - she is - but she's so new to everything. You tell her what she needs to know, sometimes gently, sometimes bluntly, and you keep her as protected as you can. Because she can't protect herself - at least not yet.
When you find out she's never been a) drunk, b) stoned and c) to Vegas, you call up Laura, tell your hubby he's in charge of the kids for a long weekend and take her to Vegas for a Girl's Weekend. You, Jennifer and Laura run up a great big bar tab at the Mirage, Jennifer gets both a) and b) at the same time -- all these years later you still don't ask Laura for any specifics because you still don't want to know -- and Jennifer then wants to find a tattoo palour. You talk her out of it at 3am in the morning - like a good friend. You are waiting for her 30th birthday, though, because if she still wants to then, you are so there!
You worry when you leave to start your own company because who's going to look out for Jennifer now? But you shouldn't have worried. You hear from your ex-secretary that a week after you left, Jennifer lit into three graphics arts designers on the piss-poor presentation and the secretary says it was like you'd never left.
You think, "That's my girl," and make sure that you and Jennifer have lunch once a month and stay in touch forever. When she starts her own company, she hires yours to do her ad work. You can't help but snicker when she does her Megadeth hand symbol at you during the contract signing. Cause that's your girl. You raised her right.