Happy spring, umeko_pyon!

[takewing]

Title: The Adventures of Momo-Chan the Awesome and Kamio the Idiot
Recipient's name: umeko_pyon
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): Momo/Kamio (friendship) with a little bit of Inui/Kaidoh
Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly. You'd know it if they were.
A/N: Thank you so much to M for the beta ♥ Aaaand to my mom for helping me with the first draft. Haha. umeko_pyon, I hope you enjoy this! I was going to do the Inui/Kaidoh (I really couldn't help adding it in though >.>), but I rather liked the thought of a Momo/Kamio friendship, so here you go!



It was a hot, sweaty, no-good, boring day. Momo was already mad because first off, he had forgotten to turn off his alarm, had woken up at the crack of dawn, and then had hit his head as he'd proceeded to fall out of his bed. Then, his siblings had decided (after he woke up much later) to play their favorite game: Bug-the-Hell-Out-of-Big-Brother. So, Momo had figured he'd escape, and had called Echizen to see if burgers sounded good (they always sounded good to Momo, but it was no fun eating by yourself). But, Echizen hadn't been there. He'd already went out with Fuji, of all people. Momo had concluded that he really didn't want to know.

So here he was, sitting next to the only person who was as bored as he was: Kamio. Not that Kamio was bad company or anything-- he just wasn't Echizen or Eiji-senpai. Or any of the Seigaku regulars, for that matter.

But Momo was determined. He didn't have any schoolwork or practices to go to, and he was going to enjoy it, if it was the last thing he did. Maybe. As it was, Kamio was completely ignoring him, with his ears plugged up and music blasting.

"Oi." Momo said, poking Kamio in the shoulder. There was no response. Kamio's eyes remained closed and his body never stopped moving to the beat that was leaking (Momo wondered how it was Kamio didn't need to use hearing aids, like his grandfather) from his headphones. Momo poked him harder; still nothing. So, Momo took a deep breath, grinned a nice, evil grin that Eiji-senpai had taught him once (it was more mischievous than evil, but Momo thought evil sounded better) and gave Kamio a huge, Kaidoh-worthy shove.

Of course, Momo hadn't thought far enough as to taking the evil grin off of his face before Kamio looked up at him and a brief scuffle ensued. Momo won. As they left the burger shop ( they were kicked out, but Momo was almost ready to leave anyway), Momo nicked a few of Kamio's fries as a reward. Winning fights was hard work.

"You're an asshole," Kamio said, dancing around to Momo's left in an attempt to salvage the few remaining fries he had left, "And I would have beaten you but my cord got tangled around my legs."

Momo scoffed. Did Kamio really think that? He poked the squirming boy in the shoulder and only barely missed getting socked in his own. "I'd beat you with my hands tied behind my back, I would," he replied, deftly stealing Kamio's last fry and popping it into his mouth with a cheesy grin. "Good fries."

Kamio glared at him through his weird-colored hair, and turned his music back up. "Sorry!" he called in a really annoying sing-song voice, "I can't heaaaaar you!" He darted away before Momo could poke him again, or maybe give him a nice punch.

Momo opened his mouth to say something back, then shut it abruptly. Kamio, thinking he'd won, relaxed somewhat and allowed Momo to catch back up with him. Momo reached over to...well, do something, but he paused, squinting across the street. "No way," he said in a low voice, then raised it slightly, smacking Kamio repeatedly on the arm until he, too, glanced in the direction Momo was looking. Over on the other side of the street were Kaidoh and Inui-senpai, walking very closely and talking to each other in hushed voices, it seemed. And, Momo was pleased to see, Kaidoh's face was like a cherry, or an apple, or some other delicious, red food-- Momo wasn't picky.

Kamio pulled his headphones out of his ears and gave Momo a confused look. "What the hell, Momoshiro? I thought you were staring at something good." He punched Momo in the arm, but Momo ignored it. Kaidoh and Inui-senpai were on a date and he was witnessing it firsthand. This day looked to be a good one, after all.

"That's Kaidoh and Inui-senpai, and man, look at how red Kaidoh's face is, that viper," he said excitedly, rubbing his hands together in an almost gleeful way. He turned to Kamio and grinned his best grin ever (which was, in Momo's opinion, The Best Grin Ever). "We should spy on them. It's not like we're doing anything anyway."

Kamio stared at him blankly. "So? It'll still be boring if we go skulking around after your stupid teammates. I don't want to see them doing things. That'd be gross," Kamio responded, wrinkling his nose in distaste and sticking those stupid headphones back in his ears.

Momo punched him again (punching Kamio was fun, he'd decided) and stole his headphones. Kamio flew at him, grasping for them and flailing around like a fish out of water or something (which was really funny, Momo thought) until he finally realized he couldn't get them and gave up. Momo smiled and tucked them into his pocket.

"You come with me, and you'll get them back later. We'll run if they start making out or anything nasty like that, don't worry." Momo didn't even wait for Kamio to answer, and instead took off down the street until Kaidoh and Inui-senpai were in sight again. Nothing had really changed, except that Kaidoh's face wasn't as red as it had been, which really sucked. But Momo still had blackmail, so it wasn't that sucky.

Momo checked to see that Kamio was still behind him (he was, of course-- Momo was just that good) and watched the two as they continued their apparently casual walk down the busy street. Momo grunted slightly as Kamio brushed by him, and frowned at the idiot.

Kamio turned and waved his arms around like some dork that Momo was sure he knew, maybe. "Come on, you moron! This was your idea!" Then he seemed to think better of his actions and glanced Kaidoh's and Inui-senpai's way, checking to see if they heard him.

Momo rolled his eyes and scoffed, but he looked too-- if they were found out Kaidoh would be out for blood. Not that he wouldn't be the next time Momo saw him at school, but Momo didn't want too many bruises today and Kamio was already giving him his daily dose. Which was stupid, but it wasn't as if Momo wasn't giving as good as he got. Once he was sure they were still alright, he caught up to Kamio and cuffed him on the back of the head, then pulled him down behind some bushes, just in case.

"This is just like a really awesome spy movie," he exclaimed in a hushed tone, eyes wide.

Kamio snorted and shoved him (the bastard) and peeked over the bushes. "Spy movies aren't real. Now, come on, idiot, they're leaving," he said, standing up. He grabbed Momo's shirt and helped him up (almost tearing it) and off they went. As he watched the way Kamio was walking-- crouched as if he were really in one of those awesome spy movies-- Momo had to keep his snickers down since Kamio wasn't wearing his headphones anymore. Which was hard and a couple of times he actually turned around and glared, but Momo was quick enough to turn it into a cough (he didn't think Kamio was convinced if those pebbles pelted at his head were anything to go by).

But what was really hilarious was how Kaidoh was still acting like a timid schoolgirl with gruff tendencies around their senpai. It was almost cute, in a sickening way, Momo thought. He wished Fuji-senpai was here to take pictures-- then he'd really have fun with Kaidoh at school. But then Kamio stopped behind a tree and put a halt to his fantasies on how he was going to ridicule Kaidoh mercilessly and he had to shove him just so he didn't bump into the idiot. Not that he minded, anyway. Kamio had been hitting him with rocks, so a shove was only fair. Kamio didn't think so, from the way he was staring menacingly at Momo like he was a rabid fanboy after Tachibana's little sister, whatever-her-name-was.

"You need headlights, Kamio," he said, edging alongside him to get a better look at the pair of lovebirds ahead. Momo almost giggled with delight (but he didn't because he was a man and men didn't giggle) at the sight before him: Inui-senpai must have dropped his pen, because he was bent over and Kaidoh was staring at his ass. It was almost too much, and the blush that came across that stupid viper's face as Inui-senpai caught him at it was priceless; better than any burger in-- well, not better than burgers, maybe. But it was close.

Meanwhile, Kamio was tapping his fingers against the trunk of the tree and fidgeting to some unknown music that was probably all in his crazy head. Momo gave him a poke to break his concentration and flitted out of harm's way as Kamio scowled and lashed out. "Oh, look at me, I'm riding the rhythm!" Momo taunted, doing some dance move that Eiji-senpai and Fuji-senpai had tried to teach him one day in the locker rooms. He couldn't remember the name-- something kira, maybe. As good as he was, though, Momo didn't think he was pulling it off. At least, not to Kamio, who stared in dumbfounded disgust for a few moments, then shook his head and skulked off after Kaidoh and Inui-senpai. Both of whom were leaving.

Momo stopped dancing and took off after Kamio. Once he caught up, he nudged Kamio in the ribs (hard, but not too hard). "Hey, hey. What're you doing?"

Kamio pushed him away with a growl and a hiss that kind of reminded Momo of Kaidoh, but only kind of. Kamio was cooler (kind of) than Kaidoh. "What do you mean, dumbass? This was your stupid idea and I'm only going along with it to get my headphones, which are in your pocket as blackmail, back," he said, and Momo wondered if he was really angry, or just pretending.

"I meant why are you walking like that," he replied, grinning cheekily. "All funny and like a spy? Which, you know, aren't real?" Momo really liked teasing people. It was fun, and Kamio was almost more fun to tease than Kaidoh.

Kamio boxed Momo in the head, then Momo saw it-- a blush. "HA," he yelled, only not too loudly because Inui-senpai was walking Kaidoh up to his house (and it was going to be really funny if Inui-senpai tried to kiss Kaidoh and ended up getting socked in the nose) and he didn't want to scare them away or get punched. "You're blushing, you moron! Admit it, you think spy movies are cool and you want to be one." Momo paused, and looked thoughtful for a minute. "Although...you really suck and you looked like you were constipated."

And just as Kamio lunged (and Momo would swear later that it all happened in slow-motion, just like in the spy movies) Momo saw, as he was going down, Inui-senpai leaning in for the kiss. And then the next thing he saw was Kamio's fist flying towards his face and he fought for his life. And he won, again. But in winning another tussle with Kamio (Momo decided he was going to start keeping score from now on), he missed seeing Inui-senpai get punched. If he even did, but Momo didn't know that, because of Kamio. So, he paid Kamio back in kind by tackling him and the score became three-love.

As they headed back into the busier streets of the city, Momo began to get hungry again, and since he won three times and Kamio got his headphones back, he didn't have to pay (which meant more for him the next day, unless he could get Eiji-senpai or Echizen to cough up). It was hard convincing Kamio, at first, but once the score was about five-love, he agreed, although Momo personally thought he could have been more happier about it-- it was food, after all.

So, Momo was happily gobbling down his four burgers and fries, and stopping every attempt Kamio made at trying to steal them, when Echizen sat down at their table with a disgruntled harumph, and tossed a black and white photo onto their table.

"Echizen," he greeted, although with a mouthful of burger, it sounded more like gibberish from another planet. "What are you doing here?"

Echizen tugged the brim of his cap down and stole one of Momo's burgers with lightening-fast reflexes, the brat. "Che. Fuji-senpai gets boring after a while. And I knew where I could find you easily."

Momo rolled his eyes and flicked Echizen's cap. Then, he glanced down at the photo, briefly, before looking at Echizen suspiciously. "What's that?"

Echizen stole his drink next, but Momo really didn't mind. It just meant Echizen would owe him some other day (and he didn't have to know Kamio was the one who'd bought it all). "Fuji-senpai told me to give it to you. He's got another one for you tomorrow, but he didn't have time to get it developed. Let me have some of your fries, Momo-senpai," he replied, reaching over.

Momo slapped his hand away and picked up the photo. Then snickered gleefully and set it back down so Kamio could look.

The burgers, for the time being, went forgotten as Momo watched Kamio bend over to stare at the photo, which was of one Kaidoh and one Inui-senpai, kissing-- and awkwardly, at that. Momo decided that whether or not Fuji-senpai read minds (there were rumors that Fuji-senpai could read minds and Momo hadn't been able to clear them up with Inui-senpai just yet), he was the greatest senpai ever. And Echizen, well, he was just Echizen.

Eventually, Momo's mom called and yelled at him to get home and clean his room. Which sucked, really, but then she told him she was making his favorite dinner and he couldn't refuse. Echizen had left earlier, mumbling something about being tired from being dragged everywhere by Fuji-senpai, so it was just Momo and Kamio at the courts when she called. They'd played almost three matches, and Momo had only lost one and a half (Kamio had started doing his stupid rhythm thing, so Momo hadn't been able to resist making fun of him again, and they'd fought again-- seven and half-half-love).

"Sure you'll be able to walk home by yourself?" Kamio sang, twirling his racket around idly as his body swayed to that stupid music he was listening to, that one day Momo would have to listen to, to see if it was any good.

Momo scoffed and pointed his racket at Kamio's face, grinning his evil grin again. "That was no good, Kamio, no good at all," he said smugly, swinging the racket over his shoulder and sauntering off, "We'll finish this tomorrow, yeah."

He could practically hear that idiot roll his eyes, and then he really did hear a scoff. "Tomorrow, I'll beat your face in."

As Momo walked off the courts, photo neatly folded in his pocket along with the burger he hadn't finished, he decided that tomorrow (if he wasn't too badly beaten by Kaidoh or unconscious from one of Inui-senpai's juices), they'd go spy on Hyoutei.