A Night on Shrooms (cont...)
And I knew it all. As I stared at Orien, I predicted the events of the rest of the night--not to the very detail, yet I still knew. I felt it.
The hotel was a bust.
We dropped Mike off before we went back to the hotel, driving all the way back to Kempsville from the Ocean Front, which should only take twenty minutes, but the drive felt like an eternity. A thousand thoughts developing and evolving in my mind, staring at Orien, wondering, in silence, driving home. I zoned out, completely. The evolution of my thoughts, the evolution of my beliefs, ideas, opinions, and the evolution of my mind--the most beautiful moment of my life--was the peak of my night, when everything seemed so clear to me. And yet...moments later...I lost track of my thoughts, my subconscious was interrupted as Nick spoke to me;
"What are you thinking so hard about?"
"Huh?" Consciousness returns to the surface.
"You're thinking so hard, what are you thinking about?"
A pause, more silence. I tried to retrieve my thoughts, but they came back only in fragments. I couldn't piece the fragments together, and the harder I tried to the more I lost grip of my thoughts.
I studdered in an attempt to reply. Nick waited.
I sighed.
"I don't even know anymore... Something about...the subconscious and knowing everything..." Already, Nick looked lost, so I tried to explain but I couldn't defragment my thoughts. "Nevermind, check out Orien." Changing the subject to the sky and the stars above... I look to the stars for hope.
I knew I wouldn't remember my thoughts completely. Before the trip I prepared myself, bringing paper in my purse so that I could write my thoughts out, and save them. But by the time these thoughts of evolution came...I was too preoccupied with just thinking to write any of it down. How I remember the events of this night now is the tool of reflection, and I replay the entire night in my head, as if it were a movie. How I remember the thoughts in my head, well...I don't know. I was on a couple twenty milligrams of Amphetamines when I wrote this reflection, somehow it came to me.
Anyway, I knew, or I had a feeling, that the hotel would be a bust; even if getting the hotel was my idea, when I suggested it I didn't even think anyone would consider it. And by the time Ivan got the room I wasn't really feeling the idea...
And by the time we drove back to the Ocean Front, the eternity was falling on its comedown. Nothing looked familiar, even the streets we took, so I assumed we were taking back roads to avoid pigs in our tripping paranoia. We kept seeing swarms of cops everywhere, and the paranoia was unveiled. I felt bad vibes everywhere, the vibes were either from the subconscious or just the waves of paranoia.
I couldn't tell if this was some sort of sign, with chemicals in our brains to enhance our minds and give us some sort of sign, telling us something, but I assumed it was just the paranoia. It seems that with any drug there comes a side-effect of paranoia. I don't normally get bad paranoia, just nervous. But from seeing cops everywhere I remember at some point telling Nick that I was scared...
We drove past the hotel just to see seven cops swarmed in the hotel's parking lot.
Now, panic.
Everyone agreed that the loss of the ten bucks they'd thrown down was bareable, but the question was whether the pigs were there for us. We never walked into the room because the hotel manager was watching us, and we only paid for one person...so we couldn't have five people all walk in at once, surely the manager noticed five teenagers walking back and forth around the hotel at eleven at night looking lost and suspicious. And then there's the fact that we went around back as I puked my ass off. Could they have been there for us? We'll never find out...
Our own beds...
Rest, sleep, comfort; our very own beds sounded so good by now. Before the night started, home was the last thing on our minds. All we wanted was to trip, and trip somewhere where we could just chill all night, what a bust. The only thing I wanted to do now was sleep in Nick's bed and relax, my mind was spent and my body was...well...I hadn't moved for hours it seemed, but my body was ready to lie down. Everyone agreed that they were ready to go home, but I knew it wouldn't come immediately. And I knew the night would end with pot... I can't stand pot, for the mere fact that I've felt better highs than the high I get with weed (actually there are many reasons why I don't like pot, but I won't get into this now), and I can't stand it when Nick smokes pot, but I knew that it was all he wanted to do now--I feel like it's just oh so important to him, this is an inevitable end. He had gone weeks without smoking and I was proud of him, but I knew the reason he wanted me to hit the shroom laced blunt so bad was so that he could smoke as well, he gets so fiendish over it. I knew it all along, and I knew this was how it would end...with me, irritated in the corner of the car.
And that's how the night ended, with him smoking his ass off, and me, forcing myself to ignore it. A buzzkill to the core.
With the car ultimately hotboxed, I felt less tripping than I did stoned. I hate that feeling. Now all I wanted to was sleep, how predictable, when weeds in my system.
So what goes up, must come down, and down, and down, and down. It's inevitable and I hate it. Comedowns and crashes seem to bring the entire experience down a notch, but all in all it was a trip to remember with so many thoughts I still strive to recover. I wanna trip more often... I need to get back in that mindset, and record all my thoughts this time.