Third Soul-- hey gang, let's start a chess club!
Oy, this thing on?
Hello my charming little miscreants, allow me to politely interrupt the studies that I'm sure are absolutely enthralling your ever endearing little heads or at least keeping them occupied with actual thought for once.
I can't help but notice the distinct lack of clubs that don't involve getting a bludger to the face- which, y'know, to each kid their own hobbies, but for those of you wanting a little finesse to the whole public education shtick, I think I've managed to find an alternative with less hemorrhaging comparatively, anyways.
Since I am such a charming and caring educator, I've taken the liberty of starting a wizarding chess club. Sign up here, and show up if you can remember the names of all the little pieces. I know that might be just a bit straining for some of you brilliant young minds, but hey, mnemonic devices haven't gone out of style yet, so maybe a little inspiration will be born.
You schmucks wouldn't know classical puns if I used them to beat you over the head not all that bad of an idea, actually. I'm shocked, truly.