I love it when a plan comes together!
So here's the plan. Yes, we have a plan. My part of the plan is that I eat my previous words, and continue to write in this here thing. Your part is to uh, read? I dunno, it's not a well-thought-out plan. The point is, I need this. More than I thought I did. I have actual thoughts in my head again, and I just sit here all day by myself, not expressing them. And I don't wanna clean up the bits of my brain when they shoot out my ears. Because that's what happens.
Okay, to be honest, 24 hours have passed since I wrote that first paragraph. At this rate, I still should avoid senility by the final paragraph. Hang in there. I'm just really tired, and I'm having a little trouble focusing on all the stuff I wanted to write yesterday. Oh, about this thing I'm doing here. The plan. The other part of the plan is, when it comes time to renew the domain, server space, etc., we just don't do that. And then I never do it again. Yeah yeah, I have some decent html skills, but that doesn't necessarily mean I should go around using them. I may well have an incredible talent for creating full-scale ziggurats out of moldy cheese, but I'm sure everyone agrees I don't need to put it into practice. What I'm doing here is making a ridiculous comparison to illustrate my point. Every web page I've made has fallen flat just after the initial stages of creation, which just happens to be my favorite part. Every time I say it'll be different, but it never, ever is. I'm sure I can do something better with my time and money than fail over and over again.
And it's been another five hours.
Overall, I am in a much better state of mind these days. To me, it seems nothing has changed for an eternity. I guess maybe that's what I've always sought... stability. Maybe this is the only way I can have it. I still don't have my full range of emotions oozing out all the time like before, but that's probably a good thing. I get angry, but only at work. I like the work itself, we just have a couple really horrible people working there. Too bad, because I really like everyone else. Right now, the worst thing about my whole situation is that I'm lonely. But eh, I guess a lot of people are lonely... and it's probably best that I stay this way for now. It wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that I've completely lost the only two people I ever hung out with since I moved here almost three years ago. I know things will never be the same with either of them, and I've accepted that. I don't blame them... this is best for all of us, especially since I wonder about my control of my temper these days. The odd thing is, the few times I've tried to talk to Dan, I'm so disgusted by him that I can't do it. I just hope I'm wrong about his future, because when I was in his mindset, nothing good came of it. But perhaps I've just inherited my father's pessimism when it comes to these things.
You know, I bet this makes no sense to anyone but me. I'm not trying to be vague or... whatever, but I cannot possibly sum up all the events that lead up to the current state of everything. Not today, at least. I guess it doesn't have to make sense to you, though. All you have to know is that I am back from the nether yet again. I wished, and now I've washed. And it feels good to write. It's almost like talking to a friend.
Okay, to be honest, 24 hours have passed since I wrote that first paragraph. At this rate, I still should avoid senility by the final paragraph. Hang in there. I'm just really tired, and I'm having a little trouble focusing on all the stuff I wanted to write yesterday. Oh, about this thing I'm doing here. The plan. The other part of the plan is, when it comes time to renew the domain, server space, etc., we just don't do that. And then I never do it again. Yeah yeah, I have some decent html skills, but that doesn't necessarily mean I should go around using them. I may well have an incredible talent for creating full-scale ziggurats out of moldy cheese, but I'm sure everyone agrees I don't need to put it into practice. What I'm doing here is making a ridiculous comparison to illustrate my point. Every web page I've made has fallen flat just after the initial stages of creation, which just happens to be my favorite part. Every time I say it'll be different, but it never, ever is. I'm sure I can do something better with my time and money than fail over and over again.
And it's been another five hours.
Overall, I am in a much better state of mind these days. To me, it seems nothing has changed for an eternity. I guess maybe that's what I've always sought... stability. Maybe this is the only way I can have it. I still don't have my full range of emotions oozing out all the time like before, but that's probably a good thing. I get angry, but only at work. I like the work itself, we just have a couple really horrible people working there. Too bad, because I really like everyone else. Right now, the worst thing about my whole situation is that I'm lonely. But eh, I guess a lot of people are lonely... and it's probably best that I stay this way for now. It wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that I've completely lost the only two people I ever hung out with since I moved here almost three years ago. I know things will never be the same with either of them, and I've accepted that. I don't blame them... this is best for all of us, especially since I wonder about my control of my temper these days. The odd thing is, the few times I've tried to talk to Dan, I'm so disgusted by him that I can't do it. I just hope I'm wrong about his future, because when I was in his mindset, nothing good came of it. But perhaps I've just inherited my father's pessimism when it comes to these things.
You know, I bet this makes no sense to anyone but me. I'm not trying to be vague or... whatever, but I cannot possibly sum up all the events that lead up to the current state of everything. Not today, at least. I guess it doesn't have to make sense to you, though. All you have to know is that I am back from the nether yet again. I wished, and now I've washed. And it feels good to write. It's almost like talking to a friend.