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It's entirely feasible that I'm the most selfish person in the whole world ever, and I'm being self-centered and greedy and not understanding.
But that doesn't make it hurt less. That doesn't make me feel even further and further away, like we're going the same speed but in entirely different directions. Like you made a "right" turn, doing the " ( Read more... ) -
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I have to start eating dinner before I go to bed ridiculously early.
Oh, and if you work for my store, and I tell you to stop stealing and inform you exactly what you've done that is considered theft, don't a) ask if this is a new policy (it's ALWAYS policy to not steal. Unless you work for ... something that isn't Friendly's. The mob, perhaps? ( Read more... ) -
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Last Sunday, I ate an entire box of S'mores Poptarts.
And six of my 8 mozzarella sticks. (Diane ate two. Bitch!)
As much pain as I was in, at least my period gave me good cravings. Although Larry and Fred thought I was pregnant. Which is fair, I suppose. Who eats chocolate and marshmallow, washes it down with lemonade, and bites into a hunk of ( Read more... ) -
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I've come to a conclusion.
It's earth-shattering, really.
I only like boys whose first at last names start with the same letter.
I'm sure there's a more succinct way to put that. And I'm sure I've stumbled upon this realization before.
But I was cleaning my room, looking for my Junior prom dress, for tomorrow, and I came upon all my other prom ( Read more... ) -
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Carmel, this adorable old woman who comes for Friendly's once a week, got diagnosed with terminal cancer. The doctors say that had they caught it when she first complained six months ago, it would have been cured, but since they didn't run the right tests, she has about 18 months to live.
Becca and I sat in the office and cried for a bit today. We ( Read more... ) -
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They sat on the carousel bench where mothers rode with the tiniest babies, the wood bubbly and thick beneath their hands from consecutive coats of paint. The bottle of Canadian Club rested between Chris's feet. He felt Emily shaking beside him, and preferred to think that she might be cold. Leaning over, he buttoned her jacket all the way. "You don ( Read more... ) -
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Mall Madness came in the mail today.
I have the best friends in the world.
No matter what else ever happens to me, know that.
The Squad is the best. They made my birthday.
So did a few other people. Like my Razzy. Tom Ennis. Mrs. Ross. That cute boy I spooned with all night.
Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?
Mwahaha.
But most importantly, my ( Read more... ) -
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Even if it doesn't necessarily fix all of my problems, bitching about them to Bill always makes life funnier.
For example, my tendency to allude to things (like a second-grader) will be forever immature compared to his ability to come right out and say them (like a third-grader).
My friends and his friends are the same. Except mine are all girls ( Read more... ) -
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There is a joke. And there is this. Which is the opposite of a joke.
Poll Colleen's Whore-level. -
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Songs about God = The Best Thing Ever.
And remind me not of God, but of Damon.