i hate i can't help you as much as i would like to. i hate that i can't always be there for you. i hate that you hate yourself. i hate that you make yourself feel helpless. but i don't hate that i love you.
eden i'm so sorry to ever make you cry and worry about me. i'm just so conflicted. half the time i'm such a clingy little thing and hugging and loving everybody and the next i'm freaking out over grades or friends or future or my own fuckingly messed up brain. i just don't know what to do or who to turn to so i drag people along and only come for certain things. and i wish i could say more but the power's out and i'm waisting the battery. i'll write again soon.
i know whaht you mean about "I LOVE YOU" not meaning anything anymore. but sarah, sometimes it's not the i l-o-v-e y-o-u that says it. it's the "i love you" grunted when i pick up the phone when your ring wakes me. the "i love you" wispered when you're laying in my bed, crying you're eyes out while i hold you. it's the "but,i still love you" confirmed when you ask me if i'm disapointed in you. it's the "i love you" yelled down the halls on the way to class. it's the "i love you" promised when i leave class to come be with you. it's the "if you're there, please make her OK, let me have her pain, because I FUCKIN' LOVE HER" prayed each night before i go to sleep.
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i hate that i can't always be there for you.
i hate that you hate yourself.
i hate that you make yourself feel helpless.
but i don't hate that i love you.
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i know whaht you mean about "I LOVE YOU" not meaning anything anymore. but sarah, sometimes it's not the i l-o-v-e y-o-u that says it. it's the "i love you" grunted when i pick up the phone when your ring wakes me. the "i love you" wispered when you're laying in my bed, crying you're eyes out while i hold you. it's the "but,i still love you" confirmed when you ask me if i'm disapointed in you. it's the "i love you" yelled down the halls on the way to class. it's the "i love you" promised when i leave class to come be with you. it's the "if you're there, please make her OK, let me have her pain, because I FUCKIN' LOVE HER" prayed each night before i go to sleep.
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