Oh God have mercy on my worthlessness, I’m a lowly creature, who desires nothing Grace, compassion, Love, community, patience, joy and salvation are not what I desire Pass them on to a greater man; oh, the next man may know better what do. I cannot be allowed into Your kingdom, nor do I desire to be called by Your name. I’m wicked, perverted, evil, undisciplined, untruth worthy, unfaith and sinful. Let greater men and woman takes my place, my heart is will not be Yours. Let thorns and swords stick me when I desire to have part of You. Do not bless me, cruse me for all eternality, cast me out, run me out Send Your angel of death to take my life, so I may not cause others to suffer with me. Let the darkness be my home, may no light shine, let suffering be known, may no pleasant moments know me, pain reign over my life, thirst and hunger be know to me! Break me, hurt me, disband my heart, cause illness and famine to rule my life. May Your glory skip me, jump over, smash me and kick me, I’m not worthy!!!
of course you are not. however, i wont lie and say that ive never felt this way. its clear to me who the author of this is... and how now i am resistant to respond with compassion yet compelled all the same...
If there is one thing i am learning in this prayer book it is that life and everything in it is never about who we are... but who he is. None of us deserve him, not the best of men. But in our sin... the worst sins... he loves us (romans 5). He is all about mercy (proverbs 28). He is all about being faithful even in our faithflessness for he cannot disown himself (2 tim 2). I imagine you know all these things and they hurt even more so. I have been there myself and return to this state many times and most likely will continue to do all the days of my life. But let us remember that our God is not stupid. He knew damn well that we would be apathetic, avoidant, resistant, stupid, easily distracted, faithless and so on... but it is not about us, it is about him.
....focus on his mercy and receive life... focus on your sin and drown while outstretched hands long for you
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Oh God have mercy on my worthlessness, I’m a lowly creature, who desires nothing
Grace, compassion, Love, community, patience, joy and salvation are not what I desire
Pass them on to a greater man; oh, the next man may know better what do.
I cannot be allowed into Your kingdom, nor do I desire to be called by Your name.
I’m wicked, perverted, evil, undisciplined, untruth worthy, unfaith and sinful.
Let greater men and woman takes my place, my heart is will not be Yours.
Let thorns and swords stick me when I desire to have part of You.
Do not bless me, cruse me for all eternality, cast me out, run me out
Send Your angel of death to take my life, so I may not cause others to suffer with me.
Let the darkness be my home, may no light shine, let suffering be known, may no pleasant moments know me, pain reign over my life, thirst and hunger be know to me!
Break me, hurt me, disband my heart, cause illness and famine to rule my life.
May Your glory skip me, jump over, smash me and kick me, I’m not worthy!!!
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flesh and spirit. what a mystery...
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....focus on his mercy and receive life... focus on your sin and drown while outstretched hands long for you
what are you waiting for?
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