I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach...it's been there for awhile.
It feels like I forgot something or I lost something.
A feeling of emptiness over powers all other emotions.
I feel alone. I feel lost. I feel unloved. I feel uncared for. I feel tossed aside.
When will it be my turn to be loved.

Last night I got a party thrown for me. Everyone ignored me, left me for food, then came back and left me to take care of my drunk friend. They are all friends with her too and not even her fucking boyfriend tried to take care of her.
I smoked a lot of cigarettes...I quit smoking in November 2004.

I thought I had it all in perspective. I thought I knew what I wanted.
But now I have lost all feeling and long for the stinging blade.
I'm not sad or upset, mad or hurt. I just don't know any more.
I have no feelings, my heart feels as if it no longer beats.
I have no urges.
I have no feelings.
I just have a body with a motionless heart.

Monday - My friend Emma is making me a birthday dinner
Tuesday - My friend Jason is taking me out for dinner
Thursday - Actual birthday...doing stuff with family...not sure what yet...
Friday - My friend Brittany is paying for me to get a mke over with Mac and then I got about $50 worth of Mac make up.

finally saw house of 1000 corpses a few days ago...I think I totally built it up to be something better than it was cause I was not scared at all...
Yesterday I saw The Skeleton key...don't see it unless you want to be bored...
Give me a horor film that's scary!

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This was my day ( Read more... )

Before I left my house today I felt vomitty but ignored it and headed off to work. I get on at Donlands...I have to go to Union...I only got to Castle frank station (strangely my schools stop) before having to get off cause I thoguht I was going to vomit...I tried to walk as fast as I could to the exit but had to walk to the DWA (gagging as I went ( Read more... )

finally saw house of 1000 corpses a few days ago...I think I totally built it up to be something better than it was cause I was not scared at all...
Yesterday I saw The Skeleton key...don't see it unless you want to be bored...
Give me a horor film that's scary!

The night of the 16th, I got a party thrown for me. Everyone ignored me, left me for food, then came back (still ignoring me) and left me to take care of my drunk friend. They are all friends with her too and not even her fucking boyfriend tried to take care of her.
I smoked a lot of cigarettes...I quit smoking in November 2004.