Yay, for your new direction! I see selfishness everyday i.e. customers who are on their cellphone the whole time they are in the store not even excusing themselves when at the counter, smokers who exhale their last puff in the store, etc. In my experience of traveling around this country and others, I see that for the most part people are good, but somewhat unconscious about the world and them-selves. It's the bad people that cast a larger shadow over things that bring us all down. Fortunately there are not that many who are purposefully bad people, but still it may take an hour or more for me to recover from their nastiness.
This is an excellent essay to help examine your natal astrology further, especially father symbols in astrology, because in your chart they point to your life calling which may be something you are not aware how directly they are connected. Also, I really have a lot to say about selfishness and how others perceive us, and astrology has taught me quite a lot about myself in this regard because I have a similar pattern as you in my chart, but before I embark on that, I do have to clear up one inconsistency I encountered reading your chart
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Since there is a discrepency between the different house methods on where my Ascendant, would you say it's could be generally said that my Ascendant is a Cancer/Leo cusp?
What does a Cancer/Leo cusp mean to you? In a whole house system every house cusp corresponds to a zodiacal cusp, so there is little meaning in having an ascendant on a cusp. This isn't a discrepancy or an error in the methods, it is just a different method and the meaning you get is slightly different.
What a whole house system does differently in your chart is place your Mars in your first house, while the method I use places your Mars in the twelfth house. In both systems your Mercury is placed in your first house and your Sun remains in the twelfth. Interpreting Mars is the difference.
Do you express your will energetically or rebelliously?
I wanted to take some time to think about this. A bit of both, it seems. I know that I identify with a more iconoclastic and revolutionary mindset, like William S. Burroughs or John Waters, rather than a more status quo type like Dan Savage. But all of my thirties have been an emerging from anger, and learning from it and transforming that energy into something positive. I like to think that if a heretic has any positive vision in one age, it may become tradition in another age. I think that I have been more rebellious in the past, but am becoming more energetic.
I think there is a big difference between acting selfish and being self-possessed. Projecting self-assurance is a signature of Leo and while you may appear to others to think and act with self-assurance, I wonder if you identify as closely with that self-assurance. What is different about how you express confidence
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Well, I take any criticism of my personality seriously but I spend time mulling it over, reviewing the source of that criticism and the evidence he/she uses to back it up. And...there is the simple trust level. I trust some people's judgment a little more than others'. I trust Roscoe's judgment, for example, quite a bit more than anyone else's, but even then, he's still said things about me that, after consideration, I disagreed with. Not often but...once in a while.
I used to accept the criticism of everyone I was friends with and many I didn't have any particular bond with at all (work mates, for example) and I would now consider that a product of low self esteem. As I've gotten older, and more experienced, and also more "talked up" by positive friends, I've found myself not actually rejecting something someone says is lacking in my personality, but, as I said before, taking it as something to think about and assessing accuracy for myself.
Cancer is said to be the realm of nurses and social workers. Statistical studies have suggested that many from their ranks have Cancer prominent in their charts, although it is not always their Sun sign. Astrology describes Cancer as being nurturing, receptive and protective, so I'm not surprised that you are attracted to and identify with people who project these qualities and wish to cultivate these qualities in yourself
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What a whole house system does differently in your chart is place your Mars in your first house, while the method I use places your Mars in the twelfth house. In both systems your Mercury is placed in your first house and your Sun remains in the twelfth. Interpreting Mars is the difference.
Do you express your will energetically or rebelliously?
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I wanted to take some time to think about this. A bit of both, it seems. I know that I identify with a more iconoclastic and revolutionary mindset, like William S. Burroughs or John Waters, rather than a more status quo type like Dan Savage. But all of my thirties have been an emerging from anger, and learning from it and transforming that energy into something positive. I like to think that if a heretic has any positive vision in one age, it may become tradition in another age. I think that I have been more rebellious in the past, but am becoming more energetic.
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I used to accept the criticism of everyone I was friends with and many I didn't have any particular bond with at all (work mates, for example) and I would now consider that a product of low self esteem. As I've gotten older, and more experienced, and also more "talked up" by positive friends, I've found myself not actually rejecting something someone says is lacking in my personality, but, as I said before, taking it as something to think about and assessing accuracy for myself.
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