Two Male Celebrities Caught In a Hotel Tryst
Report: Two Male Celebrities Caught In a Hotel Tryst
New York (Daily Star) - Hollywood action heroes Gerard Butler and Jason Statham were discovered last night in the throes of an indecent relationship at the Upper East Side Paradise Hotel, reports out of New York state. Scottish Butler, 39, the star of such movies as 300 and The Phantom of the Opera, and British Statham, 39, whose works include the Transporter franchise, were discovered late last night in the elevator of the budget hotel, noted as a celebrity haunt for those seeking privacy.
Maid Carmella Stewart of Staten Island found the men in the throes of passion while responding to a call on the eighth floor. As the door opened onto the third floor, Stewart tells us, “The men, they were kissing and touching each other. It was…disgusting!” Stewart, a mother of three who told us she is a devout Catholic, claims to be deeply scarred by what she saw. Her cry of surprise scared the two men from their concentration on one another. The door was hastily closed and surveillance footage moments later showed the men quickly leaving together in a taxi.
Stewart said she recognized the two gentlemen because her son is a fan of their movies like many teenagers his age. Ms. Stewart was quick to tell the Manhattan Daily Star, though, that her son would be forbidden from seeing any of their movies ever again.
Night manager Bruno Torelli of Queens, 56, says that there were no guests registered under the names Gerard Butler or Jason Statham. Citing privacy concerns, he would not reveal what aliases they checked in under, but sources inside the hotel told me it was Mr. Butler who made the reservation under the name Bruce Wayne. A close friend of the actor, who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed in an exclusive interview to the Daily Star that Mr. Butler was devastated to have been passed over for the role of Bruce Wayne in the recent blockbuster Batman franchise revamp, and that the actor has taken to using the name Bruce Wayne in many situations.
“His ex-girlfriend, or the woman he claimed was his girlfriend at least, told me that the one time they were ever in bed together he told her to call him that,” the friend told us. “Of course, they didn’t actually have sex. No, they were just forced to share a hotel room one night when the place was overbooked, and they were out of cots. Gerry has been with Jason for two years now. Jason is very possessive, and he would never let Gerry share a room with anyone besides him if he had known better.”
The Daily Star contacted the publicists of both actors today, but our calls have not been returned.
We hit the streets today to hear the reactions of New Yorkers. When told that Mr. Butler and Mr. Statham are now reported to be in a relationship, the reactions were varied.
“What the (edited)!” Sandra Elm of Manhattan said, her face aghast. “I will never be able to look at them the same way. How disgusting!”
“Well, my respect for them just went up at least a hundred times over,” Peter Boggs of Philadelphia replied when told the news. “My partner and I have been in a loving relationship for ten years, and to hear these two men are in a committed situation, it is just amazing for the gay community. I just hope they come out for real soon. It would be such a breakthrough.”
Neither Mr. Butler nor Mr. Statham have been seen since the incident, but sources report that Mr. Butler is due back on the set of Law Abiding Citizen on Monday.
NOTE: This is a work of fiction. This is not real, this probably never will be real, and this should not be reported as real. This is meant as a piece of complete and utter crack fiction, and it should be read as such. Enjoy!