Dancing with the Devil....Again
Characters/Pairing: Cameron Mitchell and Vala Mal Doran
Show: SG1
Setting: S10 ep7 Counterstrike. This is the missing scene just after the episode Counterstrike...one where it is obvious that Vala has chosen Daniel. Angst and sweetness.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I make no claim to these characters....they are just fun to play with.
He left the base solemn and depressed….he knew it was coming…she didn’t’ have to tell him…he could see it….see it in her eyes….her refusal to look at him….her contrived connection to him…her constant flirting and touching and the sickening way she looked at him….he knew….in the depths of his being that it was over…and it hurt like hell….like being swallowed up into the bowels of hell with no way out. He could feel the impending doom headed right for him….like a train wreck in slow motion….barreling into disaster out of control and careening into a deep abyss. He wanted so much for the pain to stop and he felt he had to get numb somehow….so he opted to have some drinks at a familiar little hang out that he used to frequent from time to time. He knows the patrons…..many by name…and the owner keeps a tab going for him….but he’s there so infrequently these days…that he’s not sure if he’ll see any of his old pals. He only goes here….to this place when things just get too intense to bear…and this definitely qualifies. He steps into the smoke filled bar and the low murmur of casual conversational chatter and the familiar crack of the pool balls ring in his ears and send his senses on high alert. He scans the bar and sees a familiar face…a good old and faithful friend….Harvey…..someone he knows very well…but would rather not tangle with at any cost. He’s not the kind of guy you would want to p!ss off…that’s for sure….so Cam acknowledges him with a head nod and slight wave of his hand as he slides onto an unoccupied stool….up close to the bartender’s tip jar….just in case he has to make a quick and covert exit. He orders up a few beers….One for himself….and one for Harvey….who by now has bounded his way toward Cam and takes up residence on the stool beside him.
“Hey John….long time no see…,” Harvey bolts out with a swift slap on the back….lurching Cam forward and into the edge of the padded bar….
“Uhhhh….It’s Cam….and yeah….I haven’t been around here in a long while….had no reason….been pretty busy….” Cam shifts uncomfortably on his stool as he attempts creative small talk….he always has to be careful what details he talks about in public as so much of his life is secret….including his love affair with Vala….it’s all ….all the secrets that are all about to eat him up….. he pulls in a deep sigh as he looks down into the amber…into the deep pit of his beer mug….looking there for some answers…for some meaning of it all to appear there like they do across the event horizon….magically….
“Oh yes….Cam….well I could swear you were John….you look so much like a John I knew once….but….oh well that must have been in another life….” Harvey chuckles and slams back his beer….he doesn’t mess around….the dude is here to get drunk…..he orders up another round…even though Cam hasn’t finished his first…..
Cam feels the pressure and guzzles his beer to make room for the new one arriving….as the cool foam slides down his throat he feels a warming sensation spread out from that point and emanate throughout his body….the numbing has begun…and it feels good….for once he doesn’t have that constant ache of her in the pit of his stomach…and if he keeps drinking maybe just maybe the itch to have her on him….will fade as well. But most likely not…because she is so entrenched in his mind and no matter what he does….he can’t ever get her out of him completely…she resides there….mercilessly…and he feels powerless to remove it….he turns to Harvey and confesses…. “Have you ever felt like you’ve been taken over by a force that is so strong…..you don’t feel in control anymore?? Damn….I think I’m going crazy….”
Harvey turns to deliver a wide and seemingly deceptive smile…almost like he knew….like he had some inside information. His eyes have a crafty element to them….one that proves he does everything with a purpose and if you aren’t careful…he will have your soul gobbled up before you know it….and it terrifies Cam for a moment almost as if he were chatting with the devil. Harvey smirks and slowly turns toward Cam…leans in close….close enough that Cam becomes uncomfortable about sharing the same breathing air and he gravels out in a low growl….”You have to resist….otherwise it will grow like a cancer….it will consume you….destroy you.”
Cam leans away in horror reaching for his beer and chugging it down….he uses the sleeve of his jacket to smear off any remaining foam that failed to make the hatch….he felt the buzz just starting…his body jangled…and he wanted more…..he needed more….he had to forget her…just for one night. Time passed….he must have lost track…between the countless beers and complimentary whiskey shots and salty pretzels…he was buzzing good and completely and summarily sh!tfaced….and as he stumbled toward the taxi that the bar tender had ordered 2 beers ago….he falls into the backseat while stuttering out his address.
They arrive and he throws a wad of cash at the driver and stumbles up to his apartment door….he fumbles with his keys for what felt like an eternity until he finally discovered the correct combination needed to open his door…..he bounds in and immediately begins stripping off his clothes…because he feels incredibly hot and sweaty…and clammy …and the room is swirling like something out of a surreal drug induced dream…and he gags….and his stomach wretches just a little as he careens toward the bathroom missing horribly and manages to vomit….all over the floor just shy of the toilet…. “Ohhhh God…..Damn…..this is not good…..son of a….. “ about that time another wave of warm putrid fluid need out…and in a big way….he fell to his knees and just grappled the bathtub….because it was the only thing with a big enough opening that he could effectively hit at the moment….
Then she ran in….concerned and questioning…. Cam?? What the hell happened to you?? Vala appeared like an angel….she always comes to him….just at the right moment….and he feels it must be a dream….because she is fuzzy and gloriously beautiful…and she just lit up like a magical glow….and it just couldn’t be her…..
He tries to focus his blurry vision…but it wasn’t working…..he could make out her slender form and dark hair…but that was about the extent of it…..he only knew it was truly her when he could hear her voice….that sexy deep erotic voice that makes him melt at the sound of her….just one more irresistible trait about her the made him completely over the top in love with her…….he wants to feel embarrassed but he’s too drunk….so he just faces her with a completely broken….I’ve totally hit rock bottom look on his face…..”Vala?? Baby?? What are you doin here?…..sorry I’m a little f u c k e d up at the moment….”
He leans over to vomit one last time and just wails for a second…..laugh crying….which you can only perform when you’re hopelessly drunk. He drops back so that he is lying out flat on his back….looking up at the light above him on the ceiling…..and he sees 3 faint halo images of the same light as they dance around him appearing like something out of a poorly written cartoon…..he gasps and just lays there trying to get a hold on some sane part of himself….and then passes out….cold.
Vala runs to get a cold wash cloth and quickly returns…. sliding down to him as if stealing home base….she leans into him….her hair dangling above him….brushing against his face and neck…she gently wipes his mouth and applies the cool compress to his now closed eyes and forehead….. “OMG Cam….I am never letting you live this one down… Cam can’t hold his liquor??” She giggled and leaned down to kiss him gently on the forehead…..and took great delight in seeing him in a most vulnerable state….one that she loves to see….because it rarely happens….and she feels privileged to be one of the few people who ever will. She continues to wash him…..removing his soiled clothes…..down to his boxers…and ordinarily under different circumstances she would be all over him….but tonight it’s different….very different. She knows she loves him….she desperately wants him…..she just can’t have him…have him in the way she wants….and it completely breaks her heart….
He stirs in and out of consciousness….murmuring things that were unintelligible but something to the effect of hurting Daniel and getting his Vala back…..but she’s not completely sure. She manages to clean up the mess around him….moving his body around as she went….almost as if she were clearing a crime scene…it was pretty disgusting….but she didn’t mind….because it was Cam…and she was quite confident he was in this mess because of her….so it was the least she could do.
Once everything was cleaned up ….she went to the bedroom and snatched up his pillows and blankets…and returned to the bathroom where she created a make shift pallet for them on the floor…..she maneuvered him under the blanket and he only resisted slightly….it would have been nice if he had been able to help move his own body parts….but they just weren’t under his control…..she finally manages to get him covered and in as comfortable position as humanly possible on the bathroom floor that still had the faint smell of vomit lingering in the air.
But she was with him…and she snuggled down….next to him….pressing her body into his….holding him….caressing him….until she felt her heartbeat finally slow for the first time since the maddening adrenaline rush she experienced when he first came home. She allowed her fingers to gingerly dance along his naked arms and back….tickling him gently….because that would be the only time she would ever get to do that…when he was completely numb and unconscious. She had thought of some other completely wicked things she could do to him at the moment…but she thought better of it and refrained. She leaned in to lay a trail of kisses on his back…marching up to his ear….where she licked him….she always loves to lick his ear…because it drives him completely insane…..and she loves it.
She stopped abruptly at his ear….breathing slowly and methodically…..rhythmically….and with purpose….. and she just had to say it….she had to get it out….. and so she whispered….deep into him…..”I love you Cameron Mitchell….you complete me” and she gulped down the breath that billowed out as her heart lurched in her chest and she thought maybe she might cry out in her own version of a laugh cry….she returned her face to the back of him….because she was facing his back…and she just allowed herself to hide there….stay there for as long as possible….until they were forced by the daylight and responsibility to move from that spot.
She swallows the hard breath that refused her and she couldn’t hold it in any longer…so she just wept uncontrollably for what seemed like forever….sobbing….snorting…. and snotting and it was a good thing he was unconscious…because he would surely think she was having a seizure of some sort….she cried out everything….everything that had been bottled up ….for months….her feelings about Cam…and Daniel and Tomin and Adria….her new job at the SGC….leaving her old life…coming into her new one….learning the ways of the Earth….just everything….and she left it all there on the floor of Cameron’s bathroom….in that space between them…that small chasm that existed…lodging all her pain and anguish there. And she fell into a deep slumber…with him…and they were quiet and relaxed….and numb….and she felt moved and relieved and surprisingly happy for the first time in months…..and at that moment….nothing mattered….nothing at all.
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